HCB's Journal, 07 May 2015

I'm sure to be stepping on land mines with this one. Of course you have the right to FEEL the way you do. The more relevant question is - "Is it reasonable for you to be disappointed/mad?". I think the answer to that is maybe. By the fact that you went out of your way to mention it so many times to your husband makes me suspect that you kind of expected him to miss how important it was to you. For the most part, people don't change. It is unreasonable for us to expect that they will. SHOULD he have picked up on this - yes. Should you be MAD - probably not. But the reality is, he is never going to empathize well with your needs and you are likely to take it as a indication of his commitment/love. My hope for y'all is that you have a enough love and happiness to continue to make it work. I love my wife more than she will ever know. I also know that I do a poor job of making that evident to her. I think I am doing that, then I find out that she thinks I am upset with her or disappointed in some way. So obviously I haven't shown it effectively. My inability to effectively share and her inability to pick up on those feelings does not diminish the underlying love or commitment. I will continue to strive to make her feel more appreciated. Hopefully I will do better. Maybe your husband will surprise you as well (but probably not). Oh yea - HAPPY BIRTHDAY 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HCB! Now, forget his Birthday! Then you will be even. 

Men don't think like women do. I almost bet that if you were to set him down and explain how what he did hurt your feelings he would apologize and say he had no idea. haha. The best thing i've learned is not to depend on others for your happiness. I say go treat yourself and feel better! :) Happy Birthday! 

Happy Birthday! :) Don't much care one way or the other if people remember my birthday. 

My husband has told me the same a few times, so now I just make my own plans and even go out and buy my own gift and flowers! Plan something special for yourself as 60 is a milestone and I bet even if you talk to him it won't change much. Belated Happy Birthday! 

lol Yet another reason I prefer women.... Seriously make sure he knows( calmly if you can) how hurt you were by that. Whatever his reasons were it meant a big deal to you and it will fester if you don't talk about it. Sometimes men just dont get it unless its pointed out. Hugs and Happy Birthday! 

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! You KNOW you really don’t need validation from someone else to be happy. I did the pre-emptive strike (probably socially dysfunctional, but o-well) of telling *everyone* that I was spending my 30th birthday with someone else- I told family that the girlfriends were taking me out, told friends that the family had big plans, and then I went out of town, treated myself to dinner and a movie, ate lots of junk food, went shopping and bought myself something no one knew I wanted and enjoyed myself. (There are no other girls in my house besides me, so it wasn't that difficult to escape unnoticed) I love my boys but they are really really REALLY self-absorbed. I got away for the evening and made new friends too. It was incredibly nice to not have to worry about everyone else's needs for a change. (it’s amazing how guys can make your birthday all about them) Its not too late to see a movie YOU want to see, or drive out to see the sunset, listen to YOUR favorite music, eat at YOUR favorite restaurant or even wade in a fountain. Its YOUR birthday, you don't have to spend it thinking about someone else. Treat yourself to EXACTLY what you want and if you still feel bad, you can always dip his toothbrush in the toilet when he is not looking. -just kidding.... I think! :P You are NOT alone, I've been there too, I'm , and wishing you a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!  

Good advice above. Treat yourself to a spa day, even better spa weekend away and go. One of the very best birthdays I've had to date is the one where I did all the things I wanted; ate the food I wanted, went to a movie I had wanted to see...and topped it off with an ice cream cone. You wanted him to value you in that way. Value yourself that way.  

Happy birthday!! I am sorry that your hubby did nothing for your special day. From experience with my own hubby who does the same thing I plan my own stuff. I'm not sure why they can't see that it is really important to us. Maybe it is fear of failure and that we will be disappointed no matter what they do so they do nothing. I would tell him that it hurt your feelings. He should know. For the next big event maybe you should plan with him.  

Oh, HCB! Sending belated Happy Birthday wishes your way.  

I'm going to write a story about my sister's 60th birthday. Her husband took her out for dinner, just as he did for every birthday, and she was totally rips**t! Like you, she felt that this was a major milestone and she was looking for something more. So she laid into him... Unbeknownst to her, he had planned a truly special surprise party which happened a couple of weeks later including having me fly out from California where I was then living as part of the surprise. She was taken completely by surprise, but she did feel sort of sorry for the grief she had given him on the actual day.... Maybe he has something like that up his sleeve...(I hope so!!!!) Blessings... 

Happy BDAY beautiful !!You have every right to be hurt and annoyed and emotional, Men are clueless or at least mine is.I would have him make it up to you next time your off together. What I do is pick out my gift on Amazon and tell him how much then make him give me the money... My husband is dork for lack of a better word but he shows he loves me in so many ways so I brush it off most of the time..enjoy the rest of your day , you deserve it. 

Awww so sorry. I understand, been there after giving the ex a 50th birthday party 6 mos before mine.  

Happy late birthday 🌹🌹🌹. Of course you have the right to be hurt!  

So sorry your husband did not plan anything special for your birthday. Buy yourself a nice gift. You deserve it!  

Happy birthday!! I would have been bummed/disappointed too... :( But now you are a butt-kicking 60 year old, woohoo!!!!  

Mine doesn't even get me a card!! Some things you just have to overlook. Disappointing? hurtful? Yes, sometimes, but that's the way it is... I usually buy myself a present... After 37 years I've bought myself some pretty nice gifts.... He has his faults, but most people do. (not me of course) But he has a few good points, too. Today is his 70th.. His gift (a fitbit charge HR) is on order... so no gift today... Is that payback??? I'm just not sure.... Intentional?? who knows...  

I buy myself presents as well. No DH but I'm thankful when 2 of my girls remember and call me, the other remembers.  

Happy Birthday FS friend, 60 is an important number, go out and get yourself some nice things, and let him know it's for the Birthday he never planned... when I had my 60th my husband planned a trip to Vegas and bought me show ticket to see Celine as he knew how much I loved her music....and attended the show with me even though she was not one of his favorites.... your hubby needs to wake up. 

Yes - when my hubby turned 65 I arranged a Vegas trip for him to see Cirque du Soleil and Jersey Boys! He knows the drill but did not do it!