|
Wasted almost 3 weeks. Gained 3 pounds back. Thought I was going to give up. Want to go to see the surgeon to see if there is a problem with my pouch. It seems like I might have ulcer symptoms.
I was ranting yet again about how I didn't eat anything and exercised 2 or 3 hours everyday. And that I only lost 2 pounds a week from all that effort. Eating liquids. Trying to feel the pouch restriction. And my DH, listening so patiently again. Just says maybe all the exercise let you build muscle and that's why you didn't lose more. He just talked about it over and over again. For days I would rant and for days he would try to reason with me. I guess he finally got through. I woke up and decided to try again. To try to love myself. To try to enjoy the fact that any progress is progress. That I have to take baby steps. Leaps are nice but they don't make for health and steady progress.
I still want to go in and see if I can get a revision on my surgery. It still feels like there is something wrong. But I'm going to go a baby step at a time. Make sure that I get all my protein in. Exercise mucho much. Not vigorously. I will be walking. Trying for the 10,000 steps a day. A little bit of the Wii. And mostly on the gazelle. Nice for my knees.
I still hope for so much more.
We are talking about going to the support meetings in Charlotte. They are free for me to attend. It might be hard. I don't feel I can go by myself and they are at 6pm. John would have to get off work early. But he said he might be able to do that since it is only 2 days a month. Maybe they can help me come up with a proper eating plan that I can write out and use to program myself. So I can remember things better.
Reading some material has helped to put a few things in my head. How long they will stay there? Who knows!
I have to not feel guilty about putting me first. John said he wants me to. But I think I'm being selfish. He says he doesn't agree with me. He doesn't agree with most of my negative rantings.
So step one is in the works today. So far, so good. Just a few days for my new weigh in. See how it goes.
I started back on liquids. Plan to be on them for two weeks. Then who knows because I'm going to stay with a friend for a week. I will try to not undo my progress. Weigh foods. Eat protein. Have to live the life for the rest of my life.
|