Sandra92301's Journal, 23 September 2014

Well I swear I am just so beat and drained from all these appointments and running around. I can't even focus on me really. Last week we had three doctors appt and blood test all for hubby. The week before we had to pick up all the kids glasses from the eye doctor and going to the vet for shots for out dogs. I am just so glad to be home relaxing. Well trying to anyway with kids it had to relaxed. I step on my scale only to see a weight gained. I just don't know anymore. I just can't seem to get focus and stay on track. Something has to change cause I really don't want to be back up to that 280 mark. I got to find a way to handle stress and life. Well I need to find what works for me. The problem is I don't even know anymore. At one time I was very active and exercise 5 times a week. Now I am lucky to even get one or two times a week. Now I am either on the go running around like a chicken without a head lol. Or I am so tried that I just don't have any energy. I have 6 kids from ages 6 to 13 to look after. My husband had a setback where he in a wheelchair now due to his bad knees as his ACL in both knees are getting worst for him to stand.So he needs help walking,getting in/out of a tub and being push around in the chair and getting dress. I don't mind helping cause he my husband. I am glad to help. But it can be very stressful at times. Like today he had to see a PT and he couldn't even stand without being in a lot of pain. Between his diabetes and his knees hes in so much pain that nothing helps. We even downsize in pets cause it was just too much. It very had on my husband cause he feels like he not doing enough and his disability isn't enough either. He keeps telling me that I can do better and I need to find someone who works. I keep telling him I love you and we a team.. But I do understand where he coming from. Today we also got help with food and clothing and I couldn't believe I was back in a size 20 jeans again. I was so mad at myself. He said I am sexy at any size. So I got to find the time to focus on me some how. Thanks for listing team. I just got to find the motivation again