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01 December 2012

30 November 2012

30 November 2012

28 November 2012

I am stuck on the number 200. It really should be 199, because then I'll be out of the 200s finally. But 200 is the number I've been so focused on for years. I will weigh less than my husband by then, and I'll weigh less than I did while I was pregnant. Of course I'm not just stopping there...I'll have another good 50 lbs to lose, but it seems like it'll be such a milestone to get there. I was close one time! I got to 217 lbs and was so pumped, and idk what the heck happened, but one day I was 217 and the next I was 233...I remember that so clear. And I remember how sick I felt. I was at 217 lbs when I had last seen my sister, and about a year and a half later she came to live with me and one day she said she was really disappointed when she saw I had gained all that weight back. At first I was so taken back! How dare she say that to my face, but after thinking about it for a few days I'm so glad she did. I can't even count on both hands how many times I've lost and gained the same 10 lbs, and I had finally made some progress just to blow it. This time around I am so 100% positive I'm not gaining all this weight back. I simply can't take one more time of feeling that awful sick feeling in my gut after realising I've failed again.

27 November 2012

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