MelodyWright's Journal

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showing entries 1 to 5 of 5

04 March 2009

Yeah.. so i dont know if i'm going to make this challenge... go figure, I'm the one who made it up. I did well this morning.. a banana and oatmeal.. but that was at nine, I didnt get back home again till five, and I was so hungry. I was warming up soup and just ate everything in sight while it was warming... I know thats so bad. I have got to get on this!!!! Between tests and studying and working and classes, I swear, all my time is slipping away!! I actually need to be studying right now!

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02 March 2009

Weigh-in: 150.0 lb

lost so far: 0 lb

still to go: 20.0 lb

Diet followed reasonably well

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28 February 2009

The last three days have been horrendous as far as my eating habits go. I had to work wednesday night from 9-3 when I had class at 8 in the morning. So I endend up trying to pull an all nighter on thursday night in order to study for my calc exam on friday morning... lack of sleep usually leads to binge sugar eating for me. But the challenge starts tomorrow and i have an army weigh in on Saturday to motivate me through out this first week. I had sort of a come to grips again with myself last night. I just had a though... aren't I ready for this whole battle to be over?? Its time to just do it. What better time than now.

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23 February 2009

This is my first journal entry, so wish me luck. My name is Melody and I have never been on this site before. I have been trying to lose weight for quite sometime now with no luck, so this is my next attempt. Most people look at me and tell me that I have nothing to worry about, but its not really about what most people think, is it? Its about how you think of yourself. Right now, I think of myself as a shadow of what I could be. I bartend to pay the bills while I go through school, and i've tried several times to get a new job, just for the managers to tell me that their establishment is very "visually oriented" followed by a thank you and no call back. I am also in the Army National Guard, and I tetter on the line everytime I go for a weigh in. It kills me that it affects my life this much, but i'm becoming more and more shy the more I get rejected from various aspects of my life over the fact that I'm not 5'7'' and 129 lbs like my room mate. Just facing the facts, I'm 5' 7'' and 150lb. I excersize religously but to no avail. half hour running at a 6 mile/hr pace on the treadmill followed by leg workouts or arm workouts or ab and back...and I just bulk up the muscle underneath the fat. my mom... 5'7'' and 130 and she's 60! At my age, she was a ballerina and 100 lb. My dad, 6'1'' and 170 lb at 61. this is not in my genes. This is just me. I could be better, if I could just stop breaking down and scarfing cookies. My husband is a gorgeous 6'7'' and can eat whatever he wants. last night he had a chocolate/sugar crave and went out and bought chips a hoy and icecream. I said i wouldnt have any but snuck into the kitchen and ate half the bag. There is no excuse for that. Its straining our relationship to because I beat myself up over it everyday. But today is a new day. I will be better. I have my size four shorts that I should be fitting into, but don't. I am keeping them as motivation. every week I will put them on as best as I can and take a picture. hopefully by the time I reach my 21st birthday I can celebrate my new age with a beautiful body and my size four shorts.

(4 comments)

22 February 2009

Weigh-in: 150.0 lb

lost so far: 0 lb

still to go: 20.0 lb

Diet followed N/A

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