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05 December 2018

Weigh-in: 214.7 lb lost so far: 1.1 lb still to go: 84.7 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment on diet DairyFarmersWife's own diet   gaining 1.2 lb a week

04 December 2018

A miracle happened today and I bought cake, watched others eat the cake, was given a piece of cake that I let sit on my desk for 10 minutes, convinced the birthday person it was their cake and they should take it home, and then I may have violently or not so violently convinced the next person walking by my desk that they should have and eat the slice of cake. They seemed suspicious at first but they finally took the cake. Sure I probably seem slightly unhinged to that person but they've worked with me for 6 years so this can't be the first time.

I'm actually doing pretty well. I spent all day Sunday talking to myself and convincing myself that I will be in the best shape of my life before I hit 40. I have roughly 15 months to accomplish this. I ate great and went walking. Yesterday I ate great and tried to go to spin class but I somehow packed my 14 yr old daughters t-shirt and not mine. Which would have been highly entertaining but no. Just no. It would have been entertaining in a fat man in a little coat kinda way. Which is the song that I got stuck in my head for the rest of the day. Someday maybe I can stretch my daughters t-shirt enough to fit into it but it's not today. Today is fat guy in a little coat with steps towards not being too big for the little coat.

Today I'm ok saying no to the chocolate cake, hitting the gym in an oversized t-shirt, and imagining where I will be a year from now when my goal is in my sights.

28 November 2018

My holiday gain is official. Why don't they have a setting other than poorly for how well you followed your diet choice. For instance there could be Good, Reasonably Well, Poor, and OMFG WHAT HAVE I DONE? Just a suggestion...

I wanted to log the weight so I'm at least owning up to having gained it. The truth is it was worse during the holiday weigh in at work but that was in the middle of the day with workout clothes on so since it's out of the norm I didn't log it here. It was definitely motivating to see the scale that high though. It was also motivating having the buff girl who works the front desk seeing it.

Enough is enough. Suck it up cupcake because I've got a matra and motivation. Matra - I will not let my weight keep me from living my life. Motivation - Writing a bucket list with things my weight is keeping me from doing. When things get hard or I'm tempted by something I remind myself of everything I'm missing out on right now because I'm either physically unable to do them or I'm convinced I would do them if I didn't look like a cupcake.

Today I added run a 5K to my list. I have no clue why this is on my list. Maybe because I always looked at runners with envy. Maybe because I've done 5K's and I don't like being in the rear end of the pack. Maybe because that guy in jeans what seems to join the 5K because he just saw people running and wanted to join in??? I have no clue. There is always the guy in jeans and boots though. I'd like to be fast enough to keep up long enough to say "Dude what's your deal??" The thing is the people in the front look miserable so I'm not sure why this is a want for me. Maybe it's because all the runners I know belong to a running group. It seems kinda like a cult. I could just join a cult but there doesn't seem to be a walking cult. I think you need to be a certain level of crazy to join the marathon running cult.. ahem.. community. I should probably be calling these people a community especially if I want to run a 5K. I may need them to scrape me off the pavement at the end. Maybe I want this because I've tried a few times and never come close. Maybe it's because last year I was literally too big to run and ended up with shin splints, a foot that still hurts, and my 6 year old running past me taunting me "You too slow!!!!" as he lapped me around the barn. So yeah.. My motivation today is to lose enough weight to be able to run without physically injuring myself or needing to be scraped off the concrete.

Plus.. if I run and someone ends up calling the paramedics I don't want them to call for extra help because they cant throw my butt into the back of the ambulance. Especially if they are cute paramedics. Not that I'm looking but a girl has to have some pride in front of a cute paramedic. When you think about it.. this is really a safety issue. I totally forgot where this is going because I have the focus of a fruit fly right now. Hope everyone has a good day!!
Weigh-in: 213.5 lb lost so far: 2.3 lb still to go: 83.5 lb Diet followed poorly
   (8 comments) on diet DairyFarmersWife's own diet   gaining 1.5 lb a week

27 November 2018

I've been struggling lately with eating. A lot of it is the holidays and the stress and all the yummy delicious foods that I'm surrounded by. Some of it is just me and the same struggle that I've been having for the last 4 years. It's been 4 years with little to no progress. A little up and a little down but the truth is it has been 4 years. I don't think I ever realized its been so long until I just wrote it. Holy crap does time fly by when you're too busy to stop and enjoy it. Or you're too overwhelmed by things that you're just stuck kinda like the puppy when it has peanut butter stuck on the roof of its mouth. It just keeps trying and trying and trying and eventually it gets through it while the other dogs watch it and think OMG WTF is wrong with you?? Do you need help?? We can totally help! No?? Well you suck.. then they sniff the puppies butt.

I'm tired of my weight keeping me stuck. I'm stuck not feeling great. It keeps me from doing things because I'm too self conscious. I don't do thinks for myself because I think I need to do X and this can be my reward. If I lose 10 lbs I will buy a purse that doesn't have a strap that's about to break. Seriously.. WTF is wrong with me? Why am I letting life pass me by with a janky purse strap wearing long bagging clothes to try and hide me? Why do I let food be my stress reliever? I'm kind of sick of my weight keeping me from living my life. I feel a midlife crisis brewing and I want to enjoy it dang it. I want to get a tattoo, questionable hippy clothes that will make people stare at me, and I want muscles. I'd love to be in the best shape of my life when I hit 40. The clock is ticking.

I want to make a bucket list. I have no clue what I will put on my bucket list but I want one. And I want to be able to put items on that list that knowing my weight won't stop me from doing them. Lets face it.. snorkeling in paradise would be more fun if I spend more time looking at the fish then myself in a swimsuit.

Anyways.. self,
I'm sick and tired of this crap. OMG WTF? Do you need help or do you want someone to sniff your butt?

PS.. Stop being a pathetic whiner and just do it already.

06 November 2018

You want to know the fun part of time changes? It's the part where all the tiny humans and animals who can't read a clock don't follow the time change rule. In fact I'm slightly afraid they fought the time change by going the opposite direction because now they get up at 4:00 or 4:30 AM. The puppy is especially confused because now he starts to bark in the morning and he gets to go play outside because otherwise he will announce to the entire house that he is awake until everyone in the house is awake.

Although by the time I get the little bugger outside everyone is either up or muttering things under their breath about stupid time changes and poop machines. Oh wait.. that's me. Anyone who says this time change is for the farmers is full of manure.

Last week was a product launch so it was a stressful mess. This week it's a time change. I need a nap.

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