It's amazing what one can do in two days.
The day before yesterday I set out to get rid of a sudden weight gain (I gained 5 kgs in 4 days - I assume water from salty foods and a few stupid choices), simply by eating very light, but fulfilling meals packed with protein, almost no cards and by drinking tons of water.
I was so shocked with the weight gain, because I'm being admitted to the hospital today and having my skin removal surgery Monday.
I had a clear goal to stay within my "happy weight" of being under 80 kgs. What a shock it was Wednesday morning to weigh in at 84.2 kgs.
Well, it's Friday, it's the big day, and even if it's only 3am, I already went on the scale. It said 78.9 kgs. Can you see me doing my happy dance? This made me feel a lot more accomplished than I have the last few days. I am back where I'd like to be.
Of course, I'd like to be even lighter, but I don't want to push it either. I'm having a large surgery performed Monday and I don't want to drink my body of its energy resources. I think that'd be a dumb move.
Today I will record my weigh-in, then have a little breakfast as always and go to the hospital with Wife by my side.
Now, I'm glad I'm not gonna STAY at the hospital over the weekend. Today is and administrative admittance, go to talk to doctors and surgeons etc., and after I'm done with that I'll be free to go home, and return either Sunday evening or Monday morning. I'm happy to not be in the hospital for three days waiting before surgery. I can wait at home just fine, thank you very much.
So this weekend is gonna be all about Wife and Daughter. We don't have any plans, we're just gonna be hanging out, enjoying the company of each other in our awesome little family. I know that wife is very concerned with the whole surgery thing, so she needs some comforting. Personally, I'm still pretty okay about it. I mean, of course I'm not all giddy about it, it's a clear stress factors, it's scary to have such huge cuts done, and this is also considering that this is my first surgery ever. Of course I'm scared and nervous. But I'm not terrified or concerned the way Wife is. I have the trust that it's all gonna be fine, and that things will go smoothly.
So, today is my first day on sick leave. Supposedly, it'll be three to five weeks before I go back to work. Thanks to danish law and the Danish health care system and social regulations, neither my leave or my surgery will cost me a dime. This is why I don't mind paying my taxes.
My entertainment for my days in the hospital is all set up. I've got plenty of movies, music, comic books, magazines, internet radio, novels and much more right at my fingertips on my laptop and tablet. Did I mention that I love my tablet? :-) It's the coolest tool around. I used to think that it was just a large phone, and something I really couldn't justify buying as I already have a great phone, but boy am I glad I gave in. I use it for hours every day, including right now where I am journaling while on my stationary bike. Nice.
It'll be a valuable tool in the hospital, as it can hold all my entertainment without adding any real weight.
I will be using it for journaling from the hospital bed if I have the excess energy to do so, too. Gotta keep my buddies updated, right?
Actually, I'm thinking about doing the update of the next phase as a video journal. Instead pros and cons to doing this. Of course it'll be fun to do. It'll give things an extra dimension, and incentives actually show things. However, it won't give me the 30-60 minutes of daily therapy that I really enjoy. I think, if I decide to do videos, it'll be a little "side project" to help me pass time at the hospital.
Now it makes me realize that it would have been cool to have had video blows of the whole weight loss journey. Dammit. :-)
I am curious about the whole program today. I don't really know too many details, but I'm sure they'll let me know. I know that today will be my day to ask questions and express concerns. I will spend time on the bus and train to write all this down, so I remember to ask most of the questions I have, and get to write down the answers.
The one thing other people seem most curious about is how much weight I will lose from them removing the skin. It's a good question, and I have absolutely no idea what the answer is. I have heard guesses from a few hundred grams to many kilos. It's something I'm not even sure they can answer until after the fact.
And honestly, it's not too big a question for me. I don't see the surgery as part of my weight loss like this, but muc more as recovering from weight loss. The excess skin is a royal pain to deal with. It's itchy, it's painful AND it's ugly and unsexy. I am so looking forward to be able to look at myself in the mirror and see the kingkeld that I was hoping to one day see back when I started my weight loss journey.
Now that day is right around the corner, once I have recovered, of course.
Oh, and here is a thought that I NEVER thought I'd ever think. I actually think I'll miss doing my morning exercise. Obviously (or, at least, I assume) I can't do my bike rides after the surgery. I really like the bike rides, the journaling and the therapy that it gives me. This workout let's me get my thoughts straight pretty much every day, and it's become such a vital part of my journey. Pretty much all the issues I have had has been sorted out by journaling, talking to myself in writing and things have simply seemed to find their own solutions as I have typed them, all of it happening with you guys on the side line, cheering and helping, comforting and pitching in.
Actually, this conforms my theory, that deep down we pretty much know all the answers already. Sometimes they are hidden by clutter such as damaging thought and emotions, but the answers to all of out questions are there, within us. Out bodies know what's good for us. It knows what it needs to exist and to be healthy. All we need to do is pay attention and follow through. This is - of course - easier said than done, but I believe it's something we can all learn to do.
Let's start with that one simple question - and I'm not even too good at this yet, but I'm working on it - when we want to eat: Am I really physically hungry? Is my body actually asking me to get fed? If not, then what is it that I really want, when it's not food? Then go pursue that.
This is kind of related, I thought I'd like to share:
Anyways, enough babbling from me for today.
I'm in a great mood and I'll be entering the hospital with my head up, ready to take on the challenges that lie ahead. It's gonna be a rough ride, and I'm glad I have a few more days to take a deep breath before I jump into the deep end, but I'm also very ready to move to the end of all this. Waiting for surgery has definitely been the hardest part of the journey. Compared to the stress of all this, preparing mentally, getting work situated and all, the actual weight loss journey has been a walk in the park. Really.
Today I'm thankful for:
- sick leave!
- going to the hospital
- losing more than 5 kgs in two days. This is by far the largest drop in weight I have ever done in such short time. Of course, it doesn't count, though.
- Wife being by my side during this next phase. It would have been much harder without her.
I'll let you know how things went today. I know some of you are curious and following this closely.
Life is good!
