HerStrawberri's Journal, 19 January 2012

Well, I'm holding myself accountable for the bad eating. This morning I weighed in at 277. I needed to record the weight. I can honestly say I'm ashamed at myself and I haven't been ashamed over my eating in a VERY long time. I'm not even sure if I'm ashamed over what I'm eating or over the fact that when I'm eating the crap, I'm not really caring. I think it's the not caring thing that is bothering me the most. I'm lying to myself about how I'm feeling. I tell myself that I'm ok with the weight gain, but I'm not. And before someone says...well it's only 6 lbs, yeah it IS only 6 lbs, but to me.....that's alot. I HATE losing and regaining weight. I need to start blogging again. HERE. NOT on MFP. yes, I really like MFP...but this is where i started and this is where I need to start again. I feel lost.

I'm so happy Christmas is OVER. That was the beginning of the crap fest. Today I'm going to do MY plan and stick to it. MY plan works for ME. I need to go back to the basics.

I know this may seem silly. But this has been going on for almost a month. Way to long. I can't have a 30lb relapse. I have come to far to go back now.

=(
277.0 lb Lost so far: 98.0 lb.    Still to go: 92.0 lb.    Diet followed poorly.
on diet HerStrawberri's own diet   gaining 4.7 lb a week

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Comments 
Please come back to fatsecret! I know it sucks to be eating bad for so long and gaining weight, but I have to say that it is a good thing that you are still thinking about eating better, and that you are NOT just letting it go. You say you aren't caring about the bad food you are eating, but I don't think you would be upset about it if you really didn't care. Get back to it. Just remember, you said you would never go back over 300 pounds again. Make sure it doesn't happen! You have lost so much weight, its ok to fall off the wagon for a month, but getting back on is the important part. 
19 Jan 12 by member: serafano
Thank you. I'm NOT going back to being over 300. or even getting close to 300 ever again. that's why I put in the weight gain. Seeing that 277 is a total wake up call for me. I'm back on it. I still have a lot of weight to lose and I can't stop now. Thank you for the comment! 
19 Jan 12 by member: HerStrawberri
you can do this girl!... u caught it before it became a problem.. trust me.. i still have 20 lbs to go to get to my lowest weight and 10 lbs to go to just feel normal... we are all here with you! 
19 Jan 12 by member: Naiomy
Don't worry Hun, you just had a slip in motivation. You will find it again and drop a whole lot more weight! You have been an inspiration to me and I know you continue to be an inspiration to me, so thank you! 
19 Jan 12 by member: Tarla
I have been kinda out of touch with FS. When I last noticed your journal you were around 300lbs, and now you are in the 270s, so congrats to that! Slipping up sucks. I know what you mean about feeling ashamed. I struggle with that myself; however, you're on the right track now. You've slipped before and lost ground, but now you are closer to your goal than before, so don't get too down on yourself, you'll make it! 
19 Jan 12 by member: MrsTofu
Thank you all so much! I'm feeling much better about this now. I'm back at school and feel 'normal' again. I need structure. I'm totally going to get rid of these extra lbs and get back on track. I lost my way for a moment, but I think I'm finding my path again. Thank you so much for the supportive comments!! 
19 Jan 12 by member: HerStrawberri
You've done so well, and Christmas is a f**ker for so many people. Chalk it up to exprience and move on. You have a hell of a lot of support here, sweetie. xx 
19 Jan 12 by member: ferlengheti
Glad to see you back! I came back here because it was what was successful for me too. Gotta stick with what works, no matter how attractive the alternative is! :) 
19 Jan 12 by member: BrandyRelaxing
Glad to have you back and on track. YOU CAN DO IT! 
19 Jan 12 by member: Helewis
Be proud of the fact that you came back and fessed up. That is huge. Let go of the shame. You've made a great decision and are committed to yourself. Yay you! 
19 Jan 12 by member: MsMarla

     
 

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