kingkeld's Journal, 19 January 2012

I'm still SO excited to be below 80 kgs! I gotta say I was nervous about weighing in today, as I was pretty sure I was gonna be over 80 again. Two days of massive weight loss usually equals a day or more of re-adjusting somewhat. That would naturally bring me over 80 again, and I'm not too keen on that. However, today's weigh-in only showed a tiny gain of 100 grams. I'm very excited about that.

Hopefully I can keep doing this balance act and never see 80 again! I doubt it, as Indulgence Day this Saturday surely is gonna mess with it, but one is allowed to hope, right? :)

I slept better last night. The night before was horrible, I was thinking of work and had a lot of unanswered questions that I needed to attend to. Well, yesterday I made it a priority to find those answers, and that put me a little more at ease. I can see that even though I have a lot to do, I'm not in a crazy hurry, and it's not TOO urgent. I'll make it on time, I think. No stress, please.

Yesterday, I did NOT go to the gym. I had it all planned though, until I in the last moment realized that I had forgotten to bring my gym shoes. Dammit. I was so ready to go, but I guess that's how it is. Once I got home, I got tired (it was a busy day at work), and I just didn't see myself going. I felt horrible skipping, but it is what it is. I felt like a school boy with the lamest excuse for skipping gym. "Teacher, I forgot my shoes". Go sit in the corner, please. :/

These last days I've been focusing a little on portion sizes. When I have measured my meals, both dinner and preparing lunches, I have taken a good look at what I have served myself. Then realized that it's probably more than I actually need, and take some off the plate/out of the lunch box again. And guess what - I haven't been hungry.

Yesterday I did have a little more of my low cal ice cream than I had planned. I felt like it, was super low on calories (I ended up at 1200 AFTER the ice cream) so I thought I'd allow myself to do it. I'm not really sure if it was a conscious choice, or if it was an excuse. Probably an excuse, the more I think about it. My main focus on it is that I need to NOT make excuses, but make it conscious choices if I do these things. I need to think it though before I eat it, consider consequences etc. What if this ice cream had brought me back up in the 80s? Even if it had just messed with my water balance, I would have kicked myself for doing it. Not worth it.

Nothing tastes as good as thin feels. Never forget, Keld.

I haven't moved further on my mindfulness class yet. I'm waiting for Wife. I can see her clearly benefiting from doing it with me, plus I'd like for us to do it together, to have someone to share it with, and someone to join for this journey. She promised me to take a listen to this first episode of the course, and let me know today if this is something she's likely to follow to the end with me. If she wants to, I'd LOVE for her to join me. I think we can both use it, and I think it would generally make our lives better to have this understanding. However, if she is NOT interested right now, then I'll have to move on and get going on it. I need it. I want it. Hopefully, she'll see the change later on, and join me again. She's always welcome, of course.

Sometimes we and our loved ones simply aren't in the same place on things like this. I guess the same on our weight loss journeys. I have deep admiration for those of you out there who are doing FatSecret, losing weight AND doing a whole different meal plan for your loved ones at the same time. It must be SO hard. I don't think I could do that.

I know how tough it can be to "argue" with people on what is acceptable foods and what are not. In the beginning it can seem like a huge challenge to simply cut down on something that we are used to have as comfort foods. To me, it's clearly the ice cream. I LOVE ice cream. I don't want to be without it. After 16 months of doing this I still can't be without it. However, I found my solution in the low cal version, and I am okay with that. I know that I should probably work harder on simply learning to live without it, and eat a piece of fruit instead, but it's difficult. I've made so many changes to my way of life, but this one is hard to kick.

I know that I would never had made it this far in my journey, had I been told that I could never eat ice cream. I would have quit there and then. Ridiculous and childish? Absolutely? Would I have cared? Not a chance.

When I set out on this journey I was determined to "make" a weight loss system that would work for me. I had a few simple rules, which of course have changed somewhat over the months. To the best of my recollection there were something like this:

1. Eat "normal people food". Not always salads and other "boring" foods.
2. Drink tons of water.
3. Journal.
4. Stick to the rules.
5. Only count calories - eat what you want, stay within your limits, and learn from your mistakes.

This is pretty much where I started. Then, it's pretty much what I still do. Of course, my taste buds have changed, and I no longer find salads boring! I have learned to like a lot of foods, and probably more important - I have learned to DISlike a lot of bad foods. I think realizing the impact on my weight, and tasting all the fat and great has made me simply not wanting them.

I still have two "demons" though. Ice cream and chocolate. I can't resist them. I try hard, and I think I'm doing okay. The rule about staying within my RDI helps me here. I'll have chocolate if I can fit it in my plan. Same with ice cream. However, I will have the dark chocolate, with less of the bad things, and the low cal ice cream. I still lose weight, so I think it's a fair trade, and I stay sane along the way. That's gotta count for something. If this weight loss journey had been too rough on me, gotten too tedious, too boring, too restrictive, then I probably would have quit. However, I found a route - thanks to the amazing fatsecret and everything related to it (including the awesome buddies!) that works, that keeps me in check and the helps me stay sane. It's a great way of life and a great way of controlling it.

Anyways, I feel like I'm just babbling... Maybe I should start preparing for work. :)

Today I am thankful that
- I didn't bounce back to the 80s.
- A reasonable night's sleep.
- Less stress.
- Internet radio - Denmark has the world's most boring radio stations. Not rock'n'roll. I highly recommend 181.FM for all your radio needs. Free and virtually commercial free (something like one ad per 30 mins).
- STRONG morning coffee.

Today's my long day at work. I don't really see me doing that today. I might skip out early if I can. It depends a little on the work load generated today. We'll see.

There is ONE thing I will have to say before I leave for today:

I apologize that I haven't been too active commenting on journals lately. It doesn't mean that I am not here or that I don't read. I just haven't had the energy to do too much. My compromise for myself to get to go read is that I will have to just do that for right now. The work stress has been a little rough on me, but I can feel things getting better. I just don't want anyone to think that I am NOT reading their journals. If your a buddy of mine, I read your journal.

I gotta say I don't like the way FatSecret lists our journals. I go to My Fatsecret, click Buddies, then Journals, then New Entries and I get the list. I have a lot of buddies, and that makes the list only show the latest journals. Sadly, I see that many aren't there. I assume it's simply because the size of that list is limited and there is no "page 2" option. If anyone has a better way of reading older journals, please let me know. I haven't found one.

And... lastly... Inspired by ferlengheti:

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/04854XqcfCY" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

How's that for a motivational song for all of us! Thanks, my friend!

Take care my friends! Life is good!
175.7 lb Lost so far: 166.0 lb.    Still to go: 0 lb.    Diet followed 100%.

Diet Calendar Entries for 19 January 2012:
1549 kcal Fat: 56.36g | Prot: 83.97g | Carb: 179.74g.   Breakfast: Egg, Rye Bread. Lunch: Mixed Vegetables (Frozen), Fars (svampe). Dinner: Beef Rib Eye (Small End, Trimmed to 0" Fat, Choice Grade), Broccoli, White Potatoes (Flesh and Skin). Snacks/Other: banana, kakaois, Eclipse Peppermint Sugar Free Chewing Gum, Licorice, Werther's Original Sugar Free Hard Candy, Free Laekkerbar. more...
2677 kcal Activities & Exercise: Desk Work - 8 hours and 30 minutes, Sitting - 5 hours and 40 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours, Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 20 minutes, Standing - 1 hour and 30 minutes. more...
on diet kingkeld's own diet   gaining 1.5 lb a week

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Comments 
Firstly.... Great that you are still below 80 kgs - fingers crossed that it stays that way, until at least Sunday :-). Re FS journals - I do the same as you and miss some journals. I sometimes pick them up, if I then click buddies, all activity ... It then picks up comments from other FS members, on my buddies journals. It is a pain I agree. As anyone goes on a weight loss journey, or through their lives their taste changes - sometimes for the good (hopefully those loosing weight), or or the bad. There is NO way I would enjoy a greasy hamburger and chips now. It would have to be very lean and the chips would have to be "oven" cooked... Plus I would HAVE to have a side salad and/or tomatoes. Your ice cream is a treat - no problem with that - plus you have adjusted it to low calorie. Your chocolate you only eat when it's within your allowance - no problem with that. Plus you don't eat bucket loads, it is controlled. I Think you are doing great, you have found food that is healthy and within a reasonable calorie count. You have looked at portion sizes and adjusted them...... Great work :-) 
19 Jan 12 by member: Sk1nnyfuture
Good Journal King! I love Queen and Freddy Mercury. I get tears when I watch the video's almost. When you said you were grateful you did not bounce back to the 80's, i thought to myself "I want to go back to the 80's!", but it was the 1980's. When rock was good! Glad your weight stayed down. I learn a lot from your journals.  
19 Jan 12 by member: posterchild66
Congrats your lower weight. You must look like one of those really skinny rock stars in tight jeans! The video is great, has just set me up for a very positive day! Your list of rules looks similar to mine and probably a lot of other successful "losers" (ha ha...successful losers!), it is simple and yet it's all there is to weight loss. The most important and most difficult thing is to be in the right mind set. I don't know how you get there, in my case it was sheer desperation and unhappiness that made me start on this journey. Just wanting to lose weight is not enough, something has to click. 
19 Jan 12 by member: LaraStar
PosterChild - I have to agree! I love the 80's ROCK. The Pop, not so much. But I'm a huge fan of so much music originating in the 70s and 80s. :) 
19 Jan 12 by member: kingkeld
LaraStar, you're right. It does take more than wanting to lose weight. I always try to promote finding that deep, inner drive to get going. I think it's essential for our success. "I really should lose some weight" is just not enough for a long, successful journey. Like with everything else in life, there has to be a deeper meaning behind things. 
19 Jan 12 by member: kingkeld
I'm happy for you!!! May the scale stay below 80 kg for Keld ... never again to rise above!!! Take care buddy and have a great day! 
19 Jan 12 by member: madaboutmoose
Glad the scale is cooperating with you today. I hope it stays under the 80s for you until indulgence day. :) Rock music is always a great way to start the day, thanks for sharing. Hope work continues to get less stressful so you can keep getting those full nights of sleep. I like your rules for dieting- you do have to find what works for you and I doubt complete deprivation honestly works for anyone long term. Have a great day! 
19 Jan 12 by member: just.keep.swimming
Awesome on the weight staying put...And yes we are the Champions...Have a terrific day...Coffee Salute to you....:O) 
19 Jan 12 by member: BHA
Awesome Keld. Great motivational song. You'll be brilliant in maintenance and we'll be your biggest fans. Rock on, under 80kg! I did have a question about your surgery. Were the requirements time or weightloss-based? 
19 Jan 12 by member: Helewis
The chocolate and ice cream are deal breakers for me and hubby as well! He loves his ice cream and I love the chocolate--good thing that I love the dark variety, too, over the milk and white chocolates. I totally hear you on eating differently! At first you think it's gonna be impossible, but then your tastes change and you find yourself wanting more of the good stuff instead of the cheeseburger stuff. What once looked and tasted SOOOO delectable is now fatty, greasy, tasteless and just a taste bud turnoff. I feel lucky that hubby and I are doing this together-would be darn near impossible if I didn't have the solidarity in-house. Also, we are both very open to new foods and new dietary changes, so that has helped. So awesome that you stayed below 80kg! As a person who has regularly had difficulty falling asleep, try this... either read a little, do a puzzle like sudoku or a word find, something to get your mind focused on one single thing. When your mind focuses on that little mindless thing, you will feel yourself drifting off. I do sudoku on my phone or in a book until I fall asleep for a bit doing it, then I pack it up, turn it off and go to sleep. Keep in mind that lack of sleep can derail weight loss, too! With that, good luck on the stress relief, sleep, getting work done, working out, etc, and ROCK ON!!! 
19 Jan 12 by member: ZippyDani
Helewis, the rules are basically that you need to have lost AT LEAST 15 BMI's (I've lost 25), be at an RDI of 30 (used to be 25 but this changed recently. That being said it's a lot safer to have the surgery below 25 so I am still doing this), and been at a stabile weight for 6 months (Doc and I essentially cheated and started the clock early, as I had already lost the 15 BMI's at that point). The clock started ticking in October, so mid-April is the time I should qualify for the assesment. Also, to have the surgery you need several other things, you need to be mentally stable, you need to have a realistic idea of the results (You will NOT automatically look like Brad Pitt), you need an "overhang" of at least 3 centimeters (I have WAY more). So generally, I am not worried about qualifying. I just want to be as certain as possible that I fulfill the requirements and keep it safe. I guess to summon up the answer, it's both time and weightloss-based. :) 
19 Jan 12 by member: kingkeld
oh that chocolate gets me, too.. congrats on your (continuing) loss. :) 
19 Jan 12 by member: inertiatic
I think the reason for your success too lies in the reality that there is no need for a 100% change with regard to everything you eat. You are realistic enough to know that you have trained yourself to enjoy more of the good foods for health and dislike more of the bad foods for health. It seems to me your success lies in the fact you have worked really hard to turn your lifestyle around and adapted to healthier measures or products of the things you cant resist. I think it would be a shame to deprive yourself of things you will always truly enjoyed and that is why i think your conrtrolled allowance within your calories really works, in fact it is a place i would like to be one day. Sazy 
19 Jan 12 by member: sazy
Not sure where to start. I have so much to comment on, I read at work in between so when I get to it my thought has vanished. LOL ok, so are you trying to convince yourself that its ok to be bad? GOOD! you should! I honestly still til this day, have my vanilla creamer in my coffee, 1-3 times a day. You deserve to have what you want, its just learning to eat it right, sizing the portion, fitting it in the allowance. The MOST important thing, being AWARE of your choices. You can not mindlessly eat anymore, that is a fact. Not when you are losing, and certainly not when you are trying to maintain. I still have my downfall days, and my upsets when I come to realize that I have to do this EVERY day forever, or for as long as I want to succedd. It's NEVER ending, 'memba? :) Another key thing to keep in mind, is making the better choice. You already switched to a low cal, or was it low fat? You could eye open for a healthier one, just to switch it up, or I am a huge fan of pumpkin (fiber and rich nutrients) I mix that into a scoop or two and there, that ads goodness to my evil, huh? (maybe a smaller serving a ice cream) sizing it up by adding blue berries, nuts, bananas. I don't see NOTHING wrong with dark chocolate either, its heart healthy! Stop feeling guilty for those items! You rock, and like you said, you have shown progress eating exactly these things. I also LOVE how you stated 'more important you learned to dislike bad foods' Thats awesome, and SO true! You deserved a medal for that one, thats a hard one to acknowelege or even admit. Ok, I am going to keep going, just want to submit this comment now. Stay tuned!  
19 Jan 12 by member: cindyshine
Ditto Sazy, most of the times we set ourselves up to fail w/ too many rules or restrictions. Allowing in the things we don't want to part with and making room for them in our daily allowance is what allows us to be successful and eat anything in moderation. As long as its not something overthetop unhealthy! I can't see having to cut it out. Psh, even alcohol. Especially booze for some. LOL In moderation *ahem. So. Same goes for your work out you missed last night. I forgot my shoes once, so I did what I could on the treadmil in my sox. People looked at me funny. Then I left w/ the feeling of 'who cares', and also 'was I that ridiculous about not forgiving myself for silly mistake?' Let me also tell you when I hit 122 I was happy(it took a while), I was going to the gym NONstop, I was burning way too many cal, way more than I was eating. I wanted desperatly to hit 120, I was so close. But I was at a stall w/ losing. I think I hit starvation mode since I wasn't eating nearly enough for the energy. Once I toned down the work outs, I lost. Then I figured it out. I think the day you had a loss you mentioned you went on the bike instead of the treadmil, I was just wondering if that too helped your body? Anything that switches your routine. I haven't followed you enough to know what you have been doing, but it was a thought. I hope it didn't confuse you!  
19 Jan 12 by member: cindyshine
Superhappy that you dig the song! I love Queen so much and really respect how Freddy's attitude was so balls-out and positive despite his personal demons. =) So impressed by your ongoing achievements, man... and the icecream thing got me thinking... would you try making your own? Would frozen yoghurt satisfy the craving or does it have to be icecream? ALSO, are you actually Danish? Cos while I'm never surprised at English fluency in Europe/Scandinavia (having lived in Belgium and Germany, I know that I was probably the least bilingual person there!), your turns of phrase and colloquialisms make me wonder if you've lived elsewhere for a period of time..? 
19 Jan 12 by member: ferlengheti
Thanks for the details, Keld 
19 Jan 12 by member: Helewis
Also wondering about surgery and classes? Sounds like you have a good wife and a strong relationship, I understand though, being in a different place than her.  
19 Jan 12 by member: cindyshine

     
 

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