kingkeld's Journal, 27 December 2011

It's the 27th of December - what we in Denmark by popular choice call 3rd Christmas Day. It's not really a holiday, but so many people have the days off between Christmas and New Year that it almost feels like a holiday. The stores are opening again, though, after being closed for three full days. This means that if you want to shop, you better brace yourself as EVERYONE is out there going nuts like if there had been hunger and famine sweeping the nation.

I, however, will NOT be shopping. We're all set, and good to go. We'll go tomorrow when things calm down, if we need anything.

First of all, I'd like to say thank you to my buddy SoLosingIt for writing such nice things about her in her latest journal. She's talking about her being inspired by me. I love the fact that I can inspire. Who knew? SoLosingIt, you put a huge smile on my face today, I even had to read your journal out loud for Wife to hear. I want to thank you for this.

So, I did a LOT of exercise yesterday. Throughout the day I managed to squeeze in 30 minutes of DVD workout in the morning, around noon Wife and I went for a 90 minute walk, and later on I managed 1 hour 45 minutes on the exercise bike. I think that'll do for one day.

Today I already did my DVD 30 minutes again, and I have a Walk planned again, and hopefully I will find energy for the bike.

The Christmas Gain is coming off fast, probably because of the exercise, but also because I have been REALLY focused on getting my water. I set my phone to remind me every hour, and then I go drink 2 cups. This is my minimum. If I come by the kitchen before the beep, I will drink water anyways, and reset the timer.

So, yesterday we were watching a few episodes of the show "Heavy", yet another one of those "Let's see how much weight the fat guys can lose in a year"-type of shows. It's pretty good, actually. I get very inspired by these shows, as do Wife, and I like watching them while I am on my exercise bike.

Yesterday, I realized how many skeletons these people have in their closets, and I realized the need for a psychiatrist for many of them. It made me wonder about myself and so many others here on FatSecret.

I think that many of us are NOT just fat because we love food. Too much food damages us, and we know it perfectly well. Still, we accept damaging ourselves for no apparent reason. To put it in perspective, we don't just start hitting ourself on our fingers with hammers just because there is a lot of hammers around. Right? :)

Anyways, I think for many of us to fully succeed in weight loss, we need to find out what the deeper reasons are for us damaging ourselves. I'm still not sure what I was hiding from, maybe just lack of confidence? I know that it's gone with the weight loss, and I am MUCH more confident now. I have people pointing it out now and then.

I looked at one of my older photos, and it struck me while I watched the Heavy show. Many of the men there have facial hair. So did I. Well, I still do, but now it's very different. It's not hiding my face.

I realized that I was hiding behind my beard. I didn't want the world to see the fat kingkeld, as he was, and the beard was something to hide behind.

Maybe there are many other obstacles that needs to be cleared away, but I think that I am getting there. I know one thing that has helped me doing this immensely: Journaling.

Writing out my thoughts on a daily basis clears though issues away. As long as I write honestly, and isn't afraid of what is being put in the journal, then it's all therapy. This works brilliantly. I'm sure some of you guys who's been reading for a longer time will have noticed the changes. I know I do. I know my surrounding do.

The main difference between this weight loss journey and my previous ones is a simple, but obvious one: This time, I didn't try. This time, I set out to DO. It's just like Master Yoda says. "Do not try. Do." This actually works. If you say to yourself that you're gonna try again, then you imply the risk of failure. If you tell yourself that you're gonna do this, then you imply success and accomplishment. See the difference?

So those of you out there still trying. Stop trying. Start doing. Trust me, it works. No more "I'm gonna try to lose some weight". Start thinking "I'm losing weight - I'll have all this excess weight off before you know it!". IT will completely shift your view on things, and it will make the value of doing it much bigger.

Anyways, enough rambling for today. I have an exercise bike waiting, and Wife wants to watch some shows with me. It's a good combination on a cold winter day. Later, we'll go walking, visit some friends and get some fresh air.

Today, I am thankful
- for eggs, rye bread, jalapenos, mustard and ham making an excellent breakfast.
- 5 am workout on a day off work. What a nice long day this is.
- coffee (BHA SALUTE!)
- a new weight loss.
- Christmas break.

Oh, and I almost forgot: Since so many of you ask how to post pictures, I made a little tutorial which I put in the forum. This should clarify things.

Take care out there in post Christmas land. Life is good!
181.9 lb Lost so far: 159.8 lb.    Still to go: 0 lb.    Diet followed 100%.

Diet Calendar Entries for 27 December 2011:
1328 kcal Fat: 52.02g | Prot: 89.48g | Carb: 116.03g.   Breakfast: Egg, Sliced Ham (Extra Lean), Rye Bread (Reduced Calorie), jalapenos. Lunch: pita bread, garden salad, Grilled Chicken (Skin Not Eaten). Dinner: mixed vegetables, Pork Backribs. Snacks/Other: kakaois, ota, Free Laekkerbar, extra lean ham. more...
3435 kcal Activities & Exercise: Bicycling (leisurely) - <10/mph - 2 hours and 30 minutes, Calisthenics (light, e.g. home exercise) - 30 minutes, Sitting - 11 hours, Standing - 1 hour, Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 1 hour, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
on diet kingkeld's own diet   losing 13.9 lb a week

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1 to 20 of 31
Comments 
getting closer to that goal weight. All the best, after new years the worst of it will be over in the way of eating bad things. 
27 Dec 11 by member: G4orce
Thanks King for the awesome inspiration! You have a lot of things right about our skeletons, we suffer many of the same demons as a druggie or an alcoholic, in fact many of us were/are those too! :-P Even if not, I feel there is something there. I often feel a lack of confidence, and worrying about what other have or are doing. Its my last day off this Xmax season, then I work two days, then another 4 day weekend. About to go to the market to get some nice veggies and chicken to grill today. /Cheers, JP  
27 Dec 11 by member: posterchild66
Cheers, JP. Enjoy the market! I hope it's less crazy than the Danish ones today. :) And don't worry - the further you get in your weight loss, the more that confidence will be boosted! :) 
27 Dec 11 by member: kingkeld
thank you for that motivating journal entry, keld. escpecially the final with "don't try. do." this is so right and i think, everybody knows it. but the least of us really want to hear it. so thank you for saying it out loud (or better, write it out loud *smile*). just one question: so in denmark the stores are always closed on christmas eve? because here in switzerland they are open, but close down at 4pm. have a wonderful day. 
27 Dec 11 by member: joelae
joelae, we close pretty much EVERYTHING those three days. There are a few smaller grocery stores open, but that's it. About saying it out loud - you're right. Many of us don't want to hear it. However, we NEED to hear it. We NEED for someone to tell us to get going, or we simply won't. I think the comfort of food is sooooo big for many of us that we simply can't grasp what's on the other side. Now I have seen both sides, and it's still tough to let go of "fat me" sometimes. I love food. But I love the new me even more. It's such an amazing life that waits for all of us on the thin side. I wish we could all just run there and be there right now. The grass REALLY is green on the other side.  
27 Dec 11 by member: kingkeld
Great journal. Thanks 
27 Dec 11 by member: Helewis
Thanks KingKeld .... Just DO, great phrase.... Another one to add to my list, behind "I choose not to be fat". :-) 
27 Dec 11 by member: Sk1nnyfuture
walk on right side of road, you are ok. walk on left side of road, you are ok. walk in the middle (trying, not doing) you get run over by a car... - source karate kid - 
27 Dec 11 by member: puhpine
I agree- people are always asking me what my motivation is or comment on my will power- or how I stay motivated... Im not motivated, I have no will power. I made a choice. Seems simple enough to me, but not everyone seems to get it. Just like I chose 4+ years ago to be a non smoker, I havent smoked since that moment. I choose to be healthy and not fat much like I choose to be happy and view the positives in my life ( most of the time) Thanks K - You've made us all think yet again!  
27 Dec 11 by member: sarahduke
Like the phrase, don't try just DO..thats my big plan this go around.. The last 15 is the hardest they say...but I want to conquer the last 15 before my birthday come March...that means there is no trying I have to just DO..I don't want to disappoint myself yet again...and if we really think about it...thats the only person you should be pleasing.. Your self..If you lose for some one else its not an accomplishment..its a chore...I want to do this for me and like it...I want to be like you!!!!!...Thanks....:O) 
27 Dec 11 by member: BHA
Gotta love master Yoda! As many may know, I often bang on about choice....choose to do and it will be done. There are so many people who have enromous difficulties in their ives, over which they have no choice. I am so very lucky...... I am just fat....and I have chosen to change that ... because I can!  
27 Dec 11 by member: Di Happy
KK- great insights! and so glad you are noticing the changes, the increased confidence, the 'no longer' need to hide, the shame is going, the embarrassment is fading, and you are becoming increasingly aware of the Keld on the inside!!!! and he is a very likeable, successful and powerful man! You are everything you knew you were when you were 'fat'... but now there is no more layers of protection - so if someone doesn't like you... it's not because of your weight. If someone doesn't hire you... it's not because of your size. If you don't get the music gig... it's not because of their mindsets of what a band member should or shouldn't look like... FEAR of what others think of us... holds us in bondage. I am so glad you are getting FREE! 
27 Dec 11 by member: jsfantome
Keld, you hit the spot once again. The mindset does a lot; just DO! I have decided to keep the switch on DO mode rather than TRY for a long time to come... 
27 Dec 11 by member: Maheva
jsfantome - Geez, scare the life out of me, will you? :) I no longer have anything to hide behind - do you know how SCARY that is? You've got a point though - and I am totally fine with it. I like that people like me for who I am, and I am fully comfortable with the fact that not ALL people will like me, hire me, like my music, be my partner and all other things in life. Just like I don't like everything and everyone I encounter. It's just way of life. I do love my FS gang though. I love reading your comments,and you guys always inspire me and make me thing. Love it love it love it! 
27 Dec 11 by member: kingkeld
Oh, I've got "skeletons in my closet", I tell ya! And it's those skeletons that, in the back of my mind, scare me to gain my weight back AGAIN (like I've done so many times in the past). Let me be honest with you, I could probably use some traditional therapy to finally "lay those skeletons to rest" but right now "Keld therapy" seems to be working just fine. Hubby (who's on FS as well), you and FS in general have helped me so much that I think I'll actually be okay this time around. Yay me ;-) 
27 Dec 11 by member: SoLosingIt
Oh, and Keld...thanks for mentioning me in your journal! Sure made my day!!! 
27 Dec 11 by member: SoLosingIt
keld - SHOCK therapy comes in all shapes and sizes! ;) LOL! Just something to think about my friend! Much Love. 
27 Dec 11 by member: jsfantome
I really enjoyed your journal as i deeply believe we have psychological reasons for abusing our bodies the way we do. Sorry to put it so bluntly but that is the truth. I suppose we are punishing ourselves, putting it simply. i have always been interested in psychology even if i cant spell it anymore. I started an open university course on the subject but did not pursue it as it was a struggle i always felt unwell, later found out i had thyroid problems but by that time and other reasons left it. However, i do have an idea where the root of my weight problem comes from and whilst i am happy to share my thoughts with you and all (you even persuaded me to put pictures on FS) that is just too personal and no-one else could possibly gain from my experience or indeed be inspired because i haven't conquered it yet and of course they will have their own blips or very big blips to deal with, I use the word blip to lighten the tone a little. Of course even knowing what the root cause could be i dont beleive it is often just one thing that makes us want to hide, it could be a number of things that we buried under the carpet and thus failed to deal with. I can point out at least three or four events, that could have affected me, ---- THEN, --- i think of my life now and would not want to change a single thing because i love my family and my life is ok. I regard myself lucky especially when i think of what terrible things some people have to cope with on an everyday basis. If we had realised our hang- ups long ago we would not have the present as it is today. We wouldn't have had the experience, companionship and support, indeed, shared friendship we have come to know on FS. I do beleive with all the work some off you have done on here, it has led to self discovery anyway. The delight and pride from your successes, the annoyance when you have not acheived as much as you wanted too but kept ploughing on towards a better result. That is what matters. That is what counts. I think that is ALL we need to know, rather than rake up the past which you cant change anyway. What you have all acheived regardless, is what really makes you all the wonderful people you are now. It is obvious that things in our life have affected us, however what we are all DOING now, is getting ourselves SORTED, ONCE and FOR ALL. PHEW, Puffed out now, NEED a cup of tea now after all that, YOU ALL NEED something stroger i bet. Regards Sazy 
27 Dec 11 by member: sazy
@Sazy - we are all different, and that's a good thing. Some people REALLY don't want to dig in the past. Nobody is forcing anyone to do anything here, you know that. I'm just saying that for ME I think it's a good thing to understand where the trouble comes from. I have done a lot of self-discovery today, and I have found several things that I can see have made me want to hide in the past, and hide behind a chubby me. I'm not interested in sharing these with everyone either, but I think it's important for ME to know, to deal with the ghosts. Some of the things I have dug up as potential enablers are things that really, truly doesn't matter any longer. The reason that they don't matter is exactly what you describe - we're at a better, happier place in our lives and we're doing good. However, I had to conquer a lot of things to get where I am, and where I was even before I lost weight. I had a lot of challenges to get to the wonderful life that I've had the later years. All of these things I would not have accomplished if I had stayed the same, more shy person as I always was. I was more afraid of rejection, I was less certain of my abilities in most ways, and I was definitely not comfortable in my own skin. By shedding all these "ghosts" one by one simply by acknowledging them, and realizing what little importance they really had, I got rid of them, and worked my way to a MUCH stronger Keld. And this I believe is the main reason for my successful weight loss. I had no reason to hide any more, and this made me NOT sabotage my progress. I think a lot of us are sabotaging our progress simply because our subconsciousness is telling us that we are NOT ready to lose weight. When this is the case, then we need to see for ourselves that we indeed ARE ready. If we are not ready, we can try all we want. We may succeed, but it will be HARD work. I cleared up a lot of my ghosts, and I can honestly say that it has NOT been very hard to lose weight. It's been a pleasure, frustrations and all, when I look back on it. It's the single most important success story of my life. Sazy, I'm not sure if I really replied to your comment, if I contradict you or underline what you're saying. I just feel that I needed to explain my thoughts a little further. I hope this is sufficient. :) 
27 Dec 11 by member: kingkeld
@Sazy - I really appreciate that you took the time to write. I love these talks - they inspire and we get to know each other so much more. Never be shy to say your opinions! :) 
27 Dec 11 by member: kingkeld

     
 

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