madaboutmoose's Journal, 16 January 2010

Happy Saturday fellow travellers!! I'm working at getting my rear in gear this morning. The laundry is started and I have a host of "tasks" to accomplish today so I better be getting busy here real soon!! One, Two, Three days of no outside the home work ... woo hoo!! Plenty of at home work to do though!

It was nice spending a little time with Bob yesterday, even though it was mostly in the car, servicing our vending machines and going to radiation. It rained, rained, and rained yesterday. Usually by this time of year we have 4 or more feet of snow on the ground around our home. This year we have maybe a couple of inches. Strange winter.

I'll spend some time on my elliptical today and maybe do my Pilates as well. Just depends on how the day proceeds. We might have a friend over to dinner on Sunday. I need to call him but it is too early. He is not an early riser. But, if we are having company I really need to spruce up the house a bit. My house isn't quite a disaster scene yet but it does need some attention.

On the journey front ... I just keep traveling on. If or when I start to stabilize around 175 I'll change my goal here. It is a purely psychological thing but I don't want to jinx myself by changing my goal weight and then not reaching it. I'm really working on learning how to be more "in the moment" and on being content without being complacent. Beets mentioned finding a strategy that was "livable" for the rest of her life in terms on maintaining a healthy weight. That is exactly what I am working on. I am not "on a diet" and have not been for quite some time. I am beginning to more deeply realize that being conscious of what I eat, why I eat, and when I eat is a life long journey ... not simply just movement towards a number goal. The longer I do this the more I actually feel at ease with this adjusted way of being. It is so very different from what I have done most of my life. It is definitely an improvement. How I wish I had figured this out at a younger age but then I guess that wasn't the story that was to be written. This is my story.

Bob is hanging in there. He is already "sick" of going to radiation which is no surprise really. He still has about 6 weeks to go. Overall I would say his attitude has been good. I do not think the side effects have hit yet and I am hoping they aren't too bad for him. Time will tell and whatever it is, it is and we'll manage.

As I look forward to celebrating my one year anniversary here on Monday I continue to be amazed at how beneficial journaling has been, building this wonderful community of buddies who offer me so much. Some buddies have come and gone but there is a group of you who have been so consistent through this year. I thank you, individually and as a group for sharing yourself here. Thank you for all the prayers, supportive thoughts, and positive energy you send my way. I thank you for sharing bits of yourself including the "ups" and "downs" of your own journeys. I indeed feel blessed and KNOW with not a tad of hesitation that you all have shared in my learning more about me. 60 lbs ago I knew I could loose weight but I didn't know I would gain so much perspective. Nor did I really believe I could keep it off. I do not think I have ever kept this much weight off for this long in my entire life. Thank you!!

Today ... I am grateful for ...

1. being thirsty for water
2. me
3. being able to be more "in the moment"
4. letting go of would've, could've, should've thoughts
5. home

Have a good weekend ... always remembering that you deserve kindness, patience, and acceptance!!
178.8 lb Lost so far: 80.4 lb.    Still to go: 0 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.

Diet Calendar Entries for 16 January 2010:
859 kcal Fat: 26.36g | Prot: 49.26g | Carb: 124.89g.   Breakfast: Fiber One, water, medifast cocoa. Lunch: best foods low fat mayo, Whole Wheat Sandwich Thins, Turkey Meatloaf, Alpine Lace Light Provolone. Snacks/Other: orange, Special K Protein Bar, Crackerful Ritz. more...
2974 kcal Activities & Exercise: Precor Elliptical - 1 hour and 22 minutes, Resting - 14 hours and 38 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
gaining 1.4 lb a week

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Comments 
I am also grateful for your "Number 2." I do not mean number 2 as in a child going potty. He-he-he-he-he-he-he! I am grateful for YOU. Your number 4 made me acknowledge the fact that I am presently operating in an "I should" mode. Slightly depressed. Should get up to put a load of clothes in. Should walk 5 miles - not 4. Should not spend so much time on Fat secret. THANKS for your provocation of thought!  
16 Jan 10 by member: poet-in-motion
I too am grateful for you! You are a wonderful buddy! You are doing great and always so thankful and positive. I have learned much from your journals. Thank you! 
16 Jan 10 by member: chattycathy1955
I can sympathise with Bob being 'sick' of radiation. Ray was just the same. It seems a long journey for just a few minutes and it continues for so long. I think we must have had your 4 ft of snow this year. Its thawing rapidly here now and we have flood warnings and the river Tweed has already breached its banks. The weight of the snow has broken 3 roof panes in the greenhouse and inside is full of snow. The thaw has been so fast that water is draining down the hill and our back garden which is part of the hill has water running down the steps like a waterfall. Its a good job we have a drainage channel into the drain at the bottom. Huge piles of snow are falling from the main house roof onto the flat kitchen roof. It sounds like the roof collapsing. I know what you mean about jinxing yourself. It has taken me so long to realise that I sabotage myself when something goes right because in the past when I have been on a high when everything is going right something comes along and takes me down a peg or two. My little mind says that if I sabotage things then it won't happen. Its so good that we can learn from one another.  
16 Jan 10 by member: flaxseed
Wow Flaxseed ... sounds wild at your home!!  
16 Jan 10 by member: madaboutmoose
Moose - Did you find the positive self image group that chattycathy started? It is a group rather than a challenge. I think it contains the words "learning to Love Yourself." Hope you join in.  
17 Jan 10 by member: poet-in-motion
did you lose 27.3 kgs in one year? wow! Impressive! I think FS gives us a chance to find people like us, the support we need to reach our goals, and so much more... it made me find a wonderful buddy like you! Have a great sunday!  
17 Jan 10 by member: jessyline
Love your weight loss philosophy. It's so true. Tell Bob to keep hanging in there! We are all pulling for him! Happy one year anniversary! We have been blessed by you too. Thanks for all your support. :-) 
17 Jan 10 by member: mbhpro
I found some before and afters for you ,,,, the change is amazing. Happy anniversary. you are much loved and appreciated. 
18 Jan 10 by member: sharonfriz
Congratulations on your journey. Your perspective is so inspiring, and I always look forward to reading your journals. They make me realize that I can indeed reach my goals and when I'm there I hope I am "zen" enough to accept what I have done and continue a different leg of the journey, which will be maintenance. Thank you for making me realize everyday that I can do this, because I have your words to read and inspire me. I'm glad that the effects haven't caught up with Bob and that he's hanging in there. My best to both of you! Happy anniversary! 
18 Jan 10 by member: alllicat

     
 

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