losinit1655's Journal, 21 December 2015

Yep -- my past sins have finally 'caught up' with me . . . but this is the 'kick in the ass' I need. Time to put on my 'big girl' pants so I don't have to start wearing my 'BIG' girl pants!! I see an 'egg fast' in my future -- possibly between X-mas and New Year's.
The past few days I've been thinking about my 'relationship' with food -- even that expression is so loaded and gives food such anthropomorphic power as if it's capable of influence and manipulation -- so while I've been amused by FS Journal postings of 'sneak attacks' and 'ambushes' by holiday treats, I wonder when this self-destructive 'relationship' of mine first formed and wish I could go back to that point in time and erase its origins and existence. Since I don't know any eccentric inventors with DeLorean time machines no sense wasting time/energy on ancient history that can't be rewritten -- only thing I can do is work on scripting a different 'ending'. Wish I could be more like a car and not have any 'feelings' toward food other than as fuel for daily functioning.
Oh well, I'll take comfort in the fact that I'm still well in the 140s -- and still a hair below my Driver's License weight, even! -- and muddle through the remainder of the holidays.
Enjoy a very Merry Christmas or whatever you may celebrate this week, FSers!
143.2 lb Lost so far: 53.8 lb.    Still to go: 16.2 lb.    Diet followed poorly.

Diet Calendar Entries for 21 December 2015:
1216 kcal Fat: 49.86g | Prot: 44.76g | Carb: 146.08g.   Lunch: Starbucks Thai-Style Peanut Chicken Wrap. Dinner: Chili Con Carne with Beans and Rice, American Value Green Beans (Canned), Del Monte Stewed Tomatoes Original Recipe, Asparagus Creamed or with Cheese Sauce (from Frozen). more...
1907 kcal Activities & Exercise: Driving - 1 hour, Weight Training (moderate) - 50 minutes, Resting - 14 hours and 10 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
on diet losinit1655's own diet   gaining 2.8 lb a week

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Comments 
"Influence and Manipulation", well....when you look at how the brain lights up on Sugar, the addiction is real. And with any addiction, the drug influences and manipulates the brain to fulfill the need. If you're brain has associated higher Dopamine levels with Breads/Pasta/Cookies/Chips, etc.. When it wants that high, you're driven to seek those foods. 
21 Dec 15 by member: mahjohn
Nice B2TF reference! When I got my license renewed a few years ago, I had my weight at 450lbs but I'm sure I was 80+lbs over that. Now I'm 50lbs LESS than my license's weight. I'm hoping to keep my license long enough for someone to spot the weight as a 'mistake'. :D 
22 Dec 15 by member: Frosty Heimdall
I think for all of us food = love, pleasure, comfort etc. It goes back to when we were babies. As mahjohn said, it triggers chemical responses in the body that make us feel good. Good thing too, or we'd all starve to death! We just need to get our heads round the idea that in practical terms, food = nutrition, and we should turn to other sources for love, comfort, happiness, pleasure, entertainment etc! Well done on your achievements this year, and on saying 'hold, enough!' 
22 Dec 15 by member: heidij123
Just a thought...the egg fast can make people feel pretty sick if they aren't used to no carbs and all that fat... 
22 Dec 15 by member: Rckc
Interesting thought about our unhealthy relationships with food and where they started. I remember as a child sneaking goodies when I could, seems to go as far back as I can recall. We're complicated creatures, I don't know what the source of it all is but there's an emotional element to it as well as the affect of refined sugar on the brain. Egg fast...I just did one and it is kind of drastic, as Rckc said you might feel lousy for a couple days as your body adjusts to it. Nothing new for anyone who's started a low carb diet before though. If you can handle that it's a great way to jump start into ketosis IMO and has helped me stay away from the holiday treats that are everywhere. 
22 Dec 15 by member: jmb3450
Excellant idea to focus and live in the present and plan for the future you want! Sweetheart, there is no shame in your weight right now and I understand you have a specific goal and remember the road isn't going to be smooth...the bumps are what we learn from and if you decide...they can be kinda of fun! Do what you think is best for you and I'll support whatever you decide :D  
22 Dec 15 by member: spiritspell
Thanks for the feedback and support everyone! @mahjohn -- While I definitely agree there is an undeniable chemical reaction and physical component involved with food addiction (often triggered by sugars and unhealthy carbs or 'carbage' as many LCHFers on this site say), I also agree with @JMB that there is an underlying emotional component that can be just as strong and perhaps as (or even more) difficult to truly identify and pinpoint, making that stealth enemy difficult to detect, head off and ultimately vanquish. @Frosty -- Being 50 lbs. BELOW your listed DL weight must be so gratifying -- I'm certainly not getting any 'double-takes' on my license for my weight OR age (heck my DL isn't even getting a FIRST look over a wine purchase at the liquor store despite my 'subtle' cues such as pushing my open wallet across the counter into the cashier's line-of-sight)! Your incredible progress to date continues to serve as a source of inspiration and motivation for me . . . from now on when I find myself facing a food crossroads, I'll ask myself, "What Would Frosty Do?" Happy to hear you appreciated the B2TF reference! @JMB and @RCKC -- Thanks for the heads up on the egg fast . . . I will probably wait until next Monday's weigh-in before pulling the trigger on that. @JMB -- I was the youngest of 3 and the only 'latchkey' kid among us as my mom began working full-time when I was 7 and my sisters were 13 and 15 . . . like you, I remember filling a good bit of the hour or so I was home alone with food and tv -- I never felt 'scared' or 'stressed' about being there by myself, but perhaps I was subconsciously 'soothing' myself with food. @Heidi and @SpiritSpell -- You two are my FS touchstones who always seem to know just the right words to say to return me to 'center,' keep me grounded and focused and prevent me from losin' it (i.e., rational thought) so I can keep losin' it (pounds and inches)! Merry Christmas, all! 
22 Dec 15 by member: losinit1655

     
 

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