It will,Bella. Hang tough (((HUGS))) FIND something to smile about,it helps.:)
18 Nov 14 by member: myawethinTICself
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18 Nov 14 by member: myawethinTICself
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I am glad you are feeling better today and that is an awesome poster, so true.
18 Nov 14 by member: snezica
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Sorry for the grief you're still experiencing. For that very reason, I don't want anyone memorializing me when I'm gone. I don't think I have to worry about that with anyone in my family anyway. They are too busy with the drama in their own lives. I might hang around for the funeral, but after that, I'm not interested anymore. :) I just want everyone to move on with their lives.
18 Nov 14 by member: DairyKing
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I imagine you've not only mourned a husband, but also had to get a new identity. You've lost the identity of a caretaker, and I'm sure that created a major void. Sort of like the empty nest syndrome for women. Not surprising you were lost this year. But I'm not telling you something you already don't know. I think you've got to see it now as 'The World is my Oyster', with freedom and enough money, no one to account to and the health and intelligence to accomplish just about anything you want. Do you not think that is not an enviable position? How many women are stuck to a bad or so/so marriage because of history, finances, etc. If you always look back you'll always be too busy to look forward. And looking forward, in your position, the future looks bright! Just get your head out of the mundane traps that are keeping you settled on the hamster wheel. You can do and be AWESOME! I'm sure of it.
18 Nov 14 by member: NowIunderstand
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You probably needed that weekend to help you go on with your life. Hope your week gets happier though.
18 Nov 14 by member: wholefoodnut
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Grief is an unpredictable bedfellow - you never know when it is going to rear its head, but it is always with you. Take care.
18 Nov 14 by member: ssl060
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Thank you everyone. My emotions are still on the surface today ~ I think this is the reason I chose to NOT have the memorial planned in Jan but it was B of course who pushed for it and ... well.. it's stirred up so much. I do agree, it's making me look back and question everything instead of forward. I do recognize I am an enviable position of many women but then I'm so very lonely in private that I ache. I felt I'd made so much progress this past year but this has knocked me back to ground zero. I'll get better. I'll get thru it. I'll get stronger.
18 Nov 14 by member: FullaBella
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NOWLUNDERSTANDs words are so true. Doesn't mean the pain will lesson but with time....it will mellow.... & you will always have the memories :)
18 Nov 14 by member: myawethinTICself
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You will get better, you will get thru this, and you will get stronger. I promise you that much.
18 Nov 14 by member: Char60
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Everything I write sounds idiotic. Love you. Sending good thoughts
18 Nov 14 by member: sharonfriz
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18 Nov 14 by member: Deb_N
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Thinking of you, my sweet special friend & Angel! Please do keep allowing yourself to grieve, and know we are here for you, sending much love and long hugs! xoxox
18 Nov 14 by member: Ruhu
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((Hugs)) Yes, you will get through this. I agree with so many comments here. Grief will come, go, and be back again. Odd things, places, actions will trigger all kinds of memories. Please focus on things that make you happy, the best memories, and new adventures!
18 Nov 14 by member: kattay
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Great loss, congratulations, you're doing very well.
18 Nov 14 by member: LadyBea40
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Everyone pretty much covered everything. Love you Bella. You're in my heart.
18 Nov 14 by member: ClassicRocker
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@Bella /'so lonely in private that it aches' - I've been there. It's very, very hard. Then you need to work on yourself. The danger is that you let any knucklehead into your life because of loneliness and that he steals away your enviable position. You can't be ok as two if you're not ok as one. You shouldn't 'need' someone, but want someone. I believe that volunteering is always therapeutic. But volunteering because you believe wholeheartedly in a cause, and not just to occupy space and time. (although I think you can benefit with both ways on different levels). That may take the sting out of the loneliness. They says that the best way to make yourself happy is to give happiness. It's only been a year, give yourself time and permission to properly heal.
19 Nov 14 by member: NowIunderstand
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I know how you are grieving. After my son was killed I cried for years. July 4th is not a celebration for me. Every year it does get better, but the pain pokes it's ugly head up now and then. My heart goes out to you...
19 Nov 14 by member: dboza
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19 Nov 14 by member: Annabelle3117
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Borrowing from Yo's journal today -you are all so wonderful and supportive. I can't remember ever feeling so loved and nurtured. The one week countdown to the service begins today and my emotions are raw as that deadline combines with the season; November always brought hospital trips with it's cold weather. I stare at my 'church' - the sudden freeze has killed the beautiful roses and hibiscus, the climbing vines all dead and it feels like holding a mirror up to the pain inside me. I want to clear it all out but know this is part of the cycle where it fertilizes and nurtures for next spring so unlike last year when I did clear it I'll let it set as I sit with my own grief. Perhaps this was something I didn't do last year as I was so busy trying to find my own legs as I cross the sea on this part of my journey alone. I tend to tear up easily this week - very, very rare for me - but am going to allow it. As the old saying goes regarding sanity and repeating behavior.. clearing my throat and stiffening my upper lip may be insane right now. Thank you again. And PS.. except for a little extra noshing at an event last night I'm continuing to eat healthy and mindfully. One bite at a time.
19 Nov 14 by member: FullaBella
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