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I am recording my weight as of this morning with clothes on except for shoes (with shoes the scale read 144, but those are semi light weight boots). I usually try to record my weight sans clothes or estimate weight without clothes assuming that what I am wearing is up to 2lbs or so. I know things have not been going in the right direction and I feel more helpless to change things. Even when it seems I try at a level I think is my best I still screw up and that is horribly discouraging. So far I've been as close as within 7lbs of my goal weight, now I'm about 13lbs away. :( It seems like for all the good it would do that might as well be 130lb. It is really hard for me to eat less than 1500 calories, but I won't start losing weight again if I don't start curbing my calorie intake. I just haven't been able to get active enough to compensate for the extra food. It is extremely aggravating that it really doesn't seem to be all that much food before binging. And when I binge I know what I am doing, but I feel disconnected from my body. My mind says that's a bad idea, but my body is resigned to failure. It is really emotionally draining to keep saying that I can't eat normal foods because in order to have regular sized meals- I've seen first hand that trying to do the more frequent small meals hasn't been very effective for me- I have to limit each meal to about 350kcal. A peanut butter jelly sandwich on low calorie bread using reduced calorie peanut butter and jelly is almost that by itself (210 cal, or the same as 1 c. lowfat vanilla yogurt), and if I use regular bread it's 350kcal exactly); however, that's not filling for me, so I easily get in trouble. I feel stuck. >< :(
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142.9 lb
Lost so far: 0 lb.
Still to go: 12.9 lb.
Diet followed poorly.
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Diet Calendar Entry for 23 March 2011:
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1186 kcal
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Fat: 18.03g | Prot: 100.90g | Carb: 165.58g.
Breakfast: strawberries, caprese, almond milk, special k, green grapes, egg whites. Lunch: Jaffa Clementine, trader joes low calorie light wheat bread, Savory golden lentils and sweet potato soup, Low Moisture Part Skim Shredded Mozzarella Cheese, baby spinach. Dinner: mini pearl tomatoes, Sarah's applesauce, Tandoori chicken, clementine, Sweet Red Peppers, Mixed Salad Greens. Snacks/Other: breyers natural vanilla, Bananas. more...
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gaining 2.5 lb a week
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