Annabelle3117's Journal, 27 February 2014

I have officially arrived in ONE-DERLAND. What an epic Thursday! I remember when I started this journey looking down at 286 on the scale and I thought Oh my god, I have SO FAR to go! How will I ever be able to stick to a diet long enough to get there? It seemed impossible. Now I'm nearing my final fifty to hit my goal, it's hard to wrap my head around it. I'm not special, haven't had any personal trainers or nutritionists, wasn't able to quit my job and ditch my family to focus solely on my weight loss efforts. I'm just a regular young woman, trying to make the bills on time and keep food on the table. I've eaten lots of pizza, attended lots of birthday parties and holidays, drank more wine than I'd like to admit, but here I am. Amazing. I'll continue that train of thought next week when I make my final 'one-year' weigh-in.

Yesterday was tricky. We had to leave for Akron early so I had a protein shake before I ran out the door and off we went. When we arrived in the building I really had to pee (its a long drive) so I stopped to use the restroom while my mom and sister headed up the elevator to the office. After relieving myself I decided to take the stairs... hahahaha. I was on the third floor, the doctors office was on the seventh. I sprinted up the stairs, like the badass I am, and was really flying until I reached the sixth floor and realized I was dying lol. Of course it probably would have been a tad easier had I not been wearing a heavy sweater and winter coat. What a rush lol, I'll do it again next time. After the appointment we got lunch in the cafeteria, I chose a slice of pepperoni pizza and a salad with fat free vinaigrette. Options were limited and I knew pizza wasn't the best choice, but salad wasn't going to do lol. I compensated by not adding any calories to my salad (cheese/croutons/etc). When we got back I worked until seven pm. Found some left over pork roast for dinner, got my protein up, and had a yogurt. Not a bad day, although nothing was planned.

Stress has been at an all time high it seems. Baby bro has been in Arizona all of four days and is falling apart. He is depressed, and talking crazy. This started two days ago with the whole "I ruined my whole life and I'm so sorry to you guys" crap. He worries me. You see he never paid his car payments while he had a good job here because he was spending all his money on dope. He quit his job, took his income tax money and ran to AZ to try to 'start over'. Well now he is out of money, and out of suboxone (helps with withdrawals) and he is freaking out. Wants my mom to send money so he can come home. If he comes home, they will take his car for sure, and they should, but still it's exhausting. Obviously they will get his car one way or the other, and that's entirely his fault but he needs to stay there for other reasons. One being to learn how to stand on his own damn feet and stop running to mommy every freaking time something goes wrong. UGH!! Than last night I told my husband I was craving bakery chocolate cake like it was nobody's business and it hit me, I was having stress cravings. Been working on beating this emotional eating crap, and it's taking time but I'm getting better at identifying it for what it is, and that's half the battle I think. Yesterday was hard, but I managed through it without food, and that's a win in my book. One day at a time.

So anywho, thank you for stopping by to enjoy the emotional roller coaster that is 'a day in the life of a Yolanda' lol. By spelling it out here I am putting it away for the day and focusing on me, my life, and things that I can control. Letting go and letting god.

On my agenda today is a trip to the gym, and evening at work, and more math studies. I hope you all have a wonderful day!!

199.4 lb Lost so far: 86.6 lb.    Still to go: 0 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.

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1393 kcal

Fat: 49.13g | Prot: 100.88g | Carb: 137.31g.   Breakfast: Borden Southwest Pepperjack Cheese Wrapped Sandwich Slices, Egg, Blue Bonnet Regular Margarine Sticks, Mission Foods White Corn Tortilla, Coffee-Mate Original Powder Creamer. Lunch: Krusteaz Fat Free Honey Cornbread, Chili. Dinner: Bush's Best Original Baked Beans, Ham (Center Slice, Country-Style, Lean Only, Cured). Snacks/Other: EAS Lean 15 Protein Powder - Vanilla Cream. more...