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Good morning!
Phew, what a day yesterday.
There was a lot on my plate (pun intended) and it shows.
I'm up in weight, up in fat, down in fluid. Hey, at least muscle mass is the same. :)
I'm not gonna beat myself over the head over it. It is what it is, and it's obvious why.
I stress when I do things that relate to my work situation. I stress when I talk about it or when I have to deal with it one way or another.
And yesterday, I had to deal with some.
...
I went to the psychologist.
It was actually a very positive and nice experience, though we didn't get very far. I didn't count on going very far, at least not the first time.
We basically spent the time having me talk about the whole situation, so she'd know more about what's going on, along with me telling about me in general.
We talked about the weight loss, the work, the bad situation, and many other things.
It was nice to get to talk about it with someone "outside the group". Someone that isn't invested in it in any way.
Well, I told her my whole story, and about the situation at work. She was, to say the least, shocked.
She was telling me, that with all the pressure on me right now, she's actually surprised how WELL I'm holding up. Apparantly, I'm a lot stronger than many.
She was very concerned with my heart situation on top of the stress. She can easily see where I am coming from in all of this.
It was nice to get a confirmation on the whole thing. It was nice to hear an outsider tell me that I'm not just paranoid or whiny.
I'm going back late next week for more, and I hope we will start moving forward.
...
So, after going there, I walked home. It's a nice, long walk. The sun was out, and it was just beautiful.
But, getting all the new impressions to sink in, and dealing with having to tell everything one more time, things just spun out of control.
At first I decided to not have my pre planned lunch. I wanted pizza, and could easily get it to fit within my numbers. But then came the urges for sugar, and those I couldn't control.
I ate too much, of the wrong things.
I did meet my required numbers on proteins, fat and fiber. At least, there's that. But I was WAY over in carbs. I ate junk.
Damage wasn't all THAT bad, but not good enough. I didn't have my water either. This - probably more than anything - has most likely affected my weight.
I'll just do better today. Hopefully. :)
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Today, I'm thankful for:
- A reasonable night's sleep.
- Morning coffee.
- A feeling of being on track, even if I did perform poorly yesterday. Damn stress.
- Wife.
Have a great day!
Life is good!
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193.6 lb
Lost so far: 148.2 lb.
Still to go: 6.2 lb.
Diet followed poorly.
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gaining 26.2 lb a week
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