kingkeld's Journal, 05 February 2014

Good morning!

Happy hump day!

I didn't sleep well at all, but I feel surprisingly awake this morning. I'm gonna use it to my advantage, and spend some time writing a proper journal. It's been a while.

I feel like I haven't dedicated to it, and now is probably the time I need it the most - to clear my head and get all the bats out of the cave.

...

Let's start topic. The scale.

The weight is up, I'm at 86.1 kilos today. That's an 800g gain since yesterday. I had HUGE meals though, so I am sure this isn't anything to worry about. The other numbers tells me that it was a good weigh-in.

I may be up 800g in weight, but I am actually at the lowest FAT WEIGHT I have seen in a couple of weeks. Also, my fluid is up a little, and this I am in no way concerned with. When fluid goes up, it sits in the muscles and I get stronger. I can live with that. :)

So, what made me nudge the fat down?

Simple. I couldn't stand that I kept gaining weight, no matter if I am getting back into shape or not. I'm doing okay at the gym, so I just had to change it up. I couldn't stand looking at those continuous gains.

I changed my RDI to a permanent 2500 calories. I've been doing that for four days straight now, and results are showing. It's a minor deficit, and the fat isn't just coming off like that, but I think the deficit makes my body WANT to drop fluid, fat and everything else. It likes this.

It could be that my general RDI is set too high. This is what I always am afraid of, and what I am always contemplating. I may have to change it, and I'm slowly getting there.

Maybe I should change it already, make it "look like" 2500 calories daily, but coming from calculations instead of forcing it? (hope that made sense)

For now, I'll stick to 2500, and just enjoy life there. It's super easy to eat within 2500, especially with my IF and IIFYM. I like it a lot.

...

Thank you everyone that wrote back yesterday. It's great to hear from all of you, and there are a LOT of great ideas in those comments.

I really like the idea of biking at home, doing HIIT. I've tried it at some point, but didn't really care for it. On the other hand, I don't have to care for it if we're just talking ten minutes. :) I could handle that. The question is whether my bike is really good enough for it. It's a cheap, kinda raggedy one, and I think I could end up murdering it if I did this on a regular basis.

...

Today, I have a lot going on.

I won't do my morning walk, as I'll have plenty of walking to do later. So, I'll hang back at home a little more, until it's time to go to the gym.

This will be at 6:45 AM.

At around 8 AM I will start walking to the psychologist's place. It's a 45 minute walk, and I figured this would be the optimal time to walk for me. I will be there at 9, go for the session and walk back home. 90 minutes of walk. :)

Then, coming home, I need to do a little shopping, and then just relax. I'm cooking tonight (Hungarian gulash!), and it'll take some hours to cook.

Not too bad of a day, huh?

...

The stress is still bad.

I got a letter from work today. Well, actually, it's from the sick leave department that I work in. Basically, this is a letter that everyone on sick leave gets, and have to return with information about their sick leave.

It stressed me out badly. I know the letter, I know the form to fill out. I have seen hundreds of them, but it made me feel really insecure.

I know I will have to go to a meeting there. I know I will have to go to that place. I know I will meet coworkers. All this makes me very anxious.

I'm glad I'm getting help with this.

...

I'm actually really looking forward to going to the psychologist. I'm hoping to get some much needed help from her.

...

I'm really, truly enjoying the whole IIFYM approach to eating.

Things are so easy. It's wonderful to be able to "eat whatever I want", within those parameters, and it makes me able to do what I want. At least, that's how it feels. There are of course no freebies, and it all has to come together.

It's definitely something that I will start incorporating in my classes once I can get going with them again.

My classes are on hold right now. I can't work my main job, so I can't work my other jobs. It's fair. Tedious, but fair.

...

Today, I'm thankful for:
- Wife
- Psychologist
- Workout
- Coffee.

Life is good!
189.8 lb Lost so far: 151.9 lb.    Still to go: 2.4 lb.    Diet followed 100%.
on diet kingkeld's own diet   gaining 12.3 lb a week

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Comments 
I hope the psychologist can tell you something useful, don't be too alarmed if she doesn't. I heard the expression the other day, you never get any problems in life you can't handle. I believe, you better handle any problem you get in life. Am i making sense? What is the color of the sun? maud. 
05 Feb 14 by member: puhpine
just catching up on your journals- sorry you've been having a rough go at work. PM me if you want to vent or chat... know your thought of and your one of the strongest most determined stubborn folks i know- be vigilant in the fair treatment of all people and be proud for standing your ground. Cheers S  
05 Feb 14 by member: sarahduke
ps: hump day? is that my sick twisted mind? what the fuck is hump day? 
05 Feb 14 by member: puhpine
Over the hump now.......It's downhill until Friiiiiiiiidaaaaaay!  
05 Feb 14 by member: pamplemousse212
Good luck with all the appointments now and future x 
05 Feb 14 by member: Sk1nnyfuture
One day at a time my friend! 
05 Feb 14 by member: madaboutmoose
Maud - it is definitely your mind playing tricks on you. Think of the work days Monday through Friday. It's all uphill until you reach Wednesday (hump day), then it's on towards the weekend. Makes sense? Now get your mind out of the gutter. LOL 
05 Feb 14 by member: kingkeld
So happy you have the opportunity to do your sessions with your therapist. There are times when just talking to spouse or friend doesn't work and having someone detached from your life/situation and can put a new look or attitude on the troubling issues is truly a blessings. I've done therapy on and off for many years and have discovered I was taught to cope and solve my own problems. They are an aide to help us sort it through. Stay strong. We're here for you.  
05 Feb 14 by member: ClassicRocker
You are sounding a lot more like your old self - even though you are still dealing with the incredible stress of life, you ARE dealing with it and it shows. The positive vibe is coming through - good for you! And know that there are many many people sending you positive thoughts! Have a great day! 
05 Feb 14 by member: Lynn1958
I love how you stay so focused - even with what you are going through! Always the motivator! Thanks! 
05 Feb 14 by member: Neptunebch

     
 

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