kingkeld's Journal, 17 July 2013

Good morning!

So, I'm a man on a mission, after my Monday slip-up. I compensated all I could (with reason) yesterday, and I'm on that very same mission today.

The way to do it is NOT to cut our ALL calories, but simply to have an extra deficit, in order to even out all the extra calories I didn't plan on having.

This way, I will end up with the right TOTAL deficit over the course of the week. It's all about averages. :)

...

Yesterday went great! It was really easy for me to stick to plan, and all I had to eat was lunch and dinner. Nothing else.

I didn't even touch the two HUGE apples that I brought to work in case I wanted something in-between meals. They're still sitting here, waiting.

I'm planning on simply doing the exact same thing the next couple of days. I have lunch and dinner planned out for today, and just want to stick with that.

I have the apples to "save me", if needed. They're super delish, and would probably do it for me. Still, no need to have them unless I need them. So far I don't.

...

So, it's 8:30 am. I'm at work. Once more, it's WAY too quiet here, as most people are on vacation. I've got literally NO work to do, so I will spend my time writing my journal, have some coffee, and basically wait for my lunch break.

...

I didn't go to the gym this morning. I got up a little late, and Wife asked if I would mind waiting for her, and we'll go together in the afternoon. Of course I'll wait. It gave me a little extra time for myself this morning, and we get to go workout together. Doesn't get much better than that.

I already did my walk, though. I did the 5 kilometers before I went to work.

It was kinda tough. I think I ran TOO much of the way yesterday, and I can tell that my legs are sore. They are quite sore, actually.

I was debating whether I should have cut the walk short, but I opted not to. I'm not sure whether this was a smart move or not, because my thighs really ARE sore, and they're not gonna get better from the workout this afternoon.

Of course, a solution could be to not walk tomorrow. I have considered it, but it's really not something I want to skip. I like walking, and it really helps me clear my head a lot, just like writing this journal does. It's mentally good for me. So skipping walks is not something I wanna get into the habit of doing.

I did ponder a little on the whole walking thing this morning though. I was thinking about the fact that it's pretty time consuming, compared to what I get from it weight/calorie-wise.

Sure, I burn about 350 calories on my walks. I do this daily, so I burn about 2500 calories per week doing this. It keps me keep my weight in check. But, once I FINALLY reach maintenance stage, the question is if I really need ALL that walking, or if maybe simply half would do? Would it be enough, and thus save me some morning time? Or would I be better off just doing what I'm already doing?

The thing is that I can clearly tell that my legs get tired now and then. I think they simply need some breaks, as I am on my feet MANY hours every day.

I stand up at work - very often 6+ hours per day. This alone burns several hundred extra calories daily, and I really like doing it. It's good for my posture, and I feel much more energized at work when I stand up. This I would hate to skip.

The walks are very important to me too. First of all, I like the mental thing about it. I like that I burn calories. And, of course, where would my fitbit numbers go if I didn't walk? LOL. Those numbers DO matter to me. They show me that I'm doing something to stay healthy. I like that.

Speaking of numbers... here are the stats from yesterday. Since I'm at work I can't make the pretty picture I normally do, but here are the numbers:

Calories burned: 3514 (of 2800 goal)
Steps: 16771 (of 10000 goal)
Kilometers: 13.87 (of 8 km goal)
Very Active Minutes: 95 (of 30 minute goal)

Not too shabby. :)

See, this is exactly what the Fitbit does for me. It helps me stay active. It shows me that I am actually accomplishing my mission and that I'm reaching my goals. This is by far the neatest gadget I have had for my weightloss mission. I highly recommend it.

...

So, gym this afternoon. I'm really looking forward to going. I like the routine I have built up going there, and it always makes me feel amazing going. This is definitely something I don't want to be without.

I do feel that my rigid exercise scheme can wear me down, though. I have been TIRED lately. I'm not sure if it's only the pretty high amount of exercise, the extra work I'm doing or if it is that I am low in nutrition. I have been thinking about especially the latter part.

See, on average, I am doing great on my calories. I don't go over, and I am not REALLY low either. On average. However, today I was seeing it in a slightly different light.

I am doing well on average because I have been efficiently compensating for some stupid extra Indulgence Days and things of that nature. Those days I usually compensate just by eating properly, and going low cal. These days, often I don't fully reach the nutritional values that I probably should - it's hard to do with a very restricted amount of calories.

However, the days I compensate for - many of those I go WAY too high in calories because of my carb intake. It's rare that there is any protein to back it up. Over the course of the last month, I do end up in a reasonably good place, with 21.1% protein, 43.1% carbs and 35.8% fat.

Fat is probably a little high, but I don't think there is generally any cause for alarm.

So why so tired? I feel that I sleep well. I feel that I am stress free. I do have a lot of things to do, but they are things that I like doing, and they don't really "get to me". So what gives?

If there is a stress factor that I am simply not really aware of, and that might very well be considering the many activities I have going on, then that might also explain the sudden impromptu Indulgence Days. Maybe these are simply days that things get to me without me really realizing? Of course, it can also just be "just because", or boredom. I know that quiet days are harder for me to control when it comes to food and calories.

Habits are another monster that sometimes work against me. Habits like my candies. I love candies. Oh, how I love them. LOL.

It's become a habit for me to have candies on Saturday.

Before, it was optional. Now, it's just something I do on Saturdays. This is something that I have grown VERY aware of, and it's something that's gotta change. There is no need to waste tons of calories on candy. No need at all. If anything, waste them on better things. Better foods.

Skipping the large amount of candies would make everything else so much easier. Any dufus can see that. Even I. However, it's become so much of a habit that it's hard to put away. I think I simply need to go somewhat cold turkey on candy and sugars for a while, but it's quite a decision for me and one that will be hard to pull off.

Just thinking this makes it a hard step. My first thought is that I would like to keep the door open so I can have a little if I feel safe doing it. Trouble is, of course, that I always feel safe. Then I have a little. Then I have a little more, because it went fine the first time around, and then the Carb Monster rears its ugly head, and I end up with a 3500-4000 calorie intake that day, and the frustration of a 5 lbs gain and a week of compensating.

Trust me, no matter how much "I'm rockin' it doing this weight loss thing", it's still hard to do. There are still so many factors and traps that needs to be looked out for.

I wish I knew that it would get better over time, but I'm not sure it will. I'm not sure that I will ever 100% get to a place where I don't need to worry simply because I have such good and decent habits that I just don't gain weight. It'd be nice to get there, but I doubt that I ever will.

Instead, I will have to simply use the tools at hand, and do the best I can, even if it means a LOT of compensating now and then.

...

Don't get me wrong. It's been a lot easier losing weight than I ever thought it would be. The hard part is for me to stay within the very small weight range that I have given myself to "exist" in.

I am FAR from mastering this yet, and this is what I think I'll be battling throughout my life. I think it's not just a matter of getting the grip on this, but also a question of setting realistic goals.

Right now the goal is - as I have said so many times - to stay within the 76-80 kilo range. Today I am 82.3. Clearly, mission is NOT accomplished. However, I am - again - working my way back to the goal weight, and I intend to stay there from now on. I need to be more hard headed about this, so I can reach my ultimate goals. Weight loss Nirvana. :)

The theory IS very simple. If I am heavier than 76 kilos, then consume no more than 2100 calories. If you are less, then go for 2600. That's all.

A 2100 calorie RDI is PLENTY for me to live a good life and have good foods. It's no problem at all to fit in all my meals and have good foods. Doing the Intermittent Fasting just makes it even easier.

It is really only the days where I get into ice creams, chocolate and/or candies that things go bad. Those days I end up WAY higher, and that of course affects me not only in fat gain, but also fluid. I see the immediate damamge I do, and that is probably a good thing. It clearly keeps me away from goal, and it clearly damages my mission.

I wonder if I can just do two weeks with no candy, ice cream, cake or chocolate? That IS quite a challenge, and I don't think I'm up for it. Not now, anyways. It's summer, there are temptations everywhere. I'm about to go on a week's break from work (starting monday), and it's gonna be Town Festival week. Going with NO "fun" is gonna be rough.

And then again, maybe that is EXACTLY the reason to do it. To stay in a short leash through it all. To accomplish. To reach goal.

I don't know. It's a big mouth full. Pun intended. It's something I will consider, and something I just might do. I think - well, I KNOW - it'll do me good, nudge down my weight significantly, and probably even make me feel better and happier.

Geez, I just see myself paining myself into a corner here. :) It's the corner where I am ALMOST committing to healthy living. What a horrible, horrible place to be! :)

Still, I can't make that promise 100%. I can make a promise that there will be no more going over RDI. I can promise that. I can promise that I will have to suffer the consequences of FIGHTING the carb monster instead of simply giving in to it. I will have to stand up and battle it instead of just being a coward. This I can promise. And this I can do.

So, let's go! :)

...

Today, I'm thankful for:
- New resolutions! Let's STAY WITHIN THAT DAMN RDI! :)
- A good night's sleep, even if I woke up tired.
- Coffee. It's a good way to kill the "little hunger". Looking forward to lunch. :)
- Wife, for being amazing as always.

Happy Wednesday! Life is good!
181.4 lb Lost so far: 160.3 lb.    Still to go: 0 lb.    Diet followed 100%.
on diet kingkeld's own diet   losing 23.1 lb a week

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Comments 
Morning. You have lots of thoughts today, again. I don't think we (former or striving to lose) obese people will ever be able to let our guard down. I think we will continue to go up and down within a weight range for the rest of our lives. Like addicts we will be constantly vigilant. At times the vigilance will slip and we will gain, then we will smack ourselves up the head and we will gain control again. Re candies - oh I hear you. I can't have any. I can't stop. It's like wine. If the bottle is open, the bottle is drank. If the chocolate bar is started, the chocolate bar is eaten. For me I just can't have any unless I have it all. But isn't that what indulgence days are for? Could you not plan out your treats, ice cream, cake, candy, etc? I try to log food before I eat so I can see what I've got left to 'spend'. If you logged your good food for the day, then added in a couple of your favorite treats, you could definitely have a few. I do know what you are saying though that it is hard to stop at just a few. I do hear you on that. But you also know that that Carb Monster is just sitting in the corner smiling and waiting. You are bigger and better than him. He will never ever leave us. He is always lurking. But I keep him caged (oh God I hope he stays caged) by not eating too many carbs. I have eaten more carbs this past week and am always on guard for the signals but so far so good. I thought the bread/buns might do it but nope, he didn't blink. The extra fruit - nope, he was still sleeping. So for me it is definitely sugar and I think for you it likely is sugar too. Sugar and fat - such a great but lethal combination. I think it is too hard for you to say you will stay away from sugars for 2 weeks. Why not say instead that you will stay away from sugar for one day. Try this Saturday. No candy on Saturday. Yes to an ice cream but no candies. That might be more manageable in your head, less overwhelming than saying - nope, no sugar for 2 weeks. Hope this isn't too long. I'm sorry I seem to just spout off all the time. :) I appreciate your journals, I love your thoughts, they mirror so much of my own, even though I am not where you are, yet, but I am coming baby, I am on my way :) 
17 Jul 13 by member: sarahsmum
It seems pretty clear to me that most days "just a little" just opens the door. Planned or not planned. Sure, I plan it for Saturdays, but it still goes higher and higher and becomes habit to have. I don't WANT habits to have bad foods. I want bad foods to happen when/if there is room for it on Saturdays, or when I make a conscious choice to cheat. Losing control is not a conscious choice, and I hate to have THOSE days. It's been two good days now, though, and I am on track. So far today I have had lunch and a post-workout apple, and dinner is cooking. I have 2½ hours left of my "feeding window" and I won't have much urge for anything but dinner. I am on a mission to reach my calorie goal for the week and so far I am winning the race. What makes it more interesting is that I am NOT going for a "how low can I go" kinda win. I'm going for "how close can I get to the goal I set out to reach" kinda win. It's much more important for my general mission. I can't starve myself these days, or I think I'll fail. Suddenly I will be low on something, and it'll bring me to the candy store or something else dumb will happen. So it's all a matter of staying on track and remembering the mission. It's working too. I'm pretty sure I have a nice weight drop tomorrow. We'll see. :) 
17 Jul 13 by member: kingkeld
Fingers crossed for the weight drop. I hear you, a little leads to a lot for a lot of people, me included. Like I said if it's started, it has to be finished, that goes for any food in front of me but particularly sweet stuff. Good job on being on track today, that will make 3 in a row. Can't wait for tomorrow to see your drop :) 
17 Jul 13 by member: sarahsmum
That will make TWO in a row. Monday was mess-up-day. :) Well, it's 6:38, my feeding-window is slowly closing, I have no intention of eating or drinking any more, and I'm already lighter than I was this morning. A drop is DEFINITELY due. Question is how much. :) 
17 Jul 13 by member: kingkeld
Oops, sorry I can't count. Great you are feeling lighter already. My feeding window just opened - funny the time difference :) Enjoy your evening, sleep well, and I'll 'see' you tomorrow ;) 
17 Jul 13 by member: sarahsmum

     
 

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