kingkeld's Journal, 15 July 2013

Good morning!

Phew. It's a ROUGH morning.

I just COULDN'T get out of bed. I slept 90 minutes extra. It's a good thing that I usually get up HOURS before work. :)

This morning, my body is BEYOND tired. So sleepy, and I just can't seem to wake up. It's gonna be tough today.

I skipped my walk. I skipped gym. The skipped walk bothers me more than gym, as I did both yesterday. I can live without gym today. I can always go tomorrow after work, or just wait for Wednesday, and then do Friday and Sunday too. It's fine.

BUT... you know how I love numbers. You know how I feel if I don't get my steps in today. I'm gonna have to do something about it throughout the day. I need those steps counted. :)

What's (almost) as troubling is that my Fitbit is almost out of battery. It's sitting here next to me on my desk, charging. This of course means that if I walk around at work it will not register my steps. Woe is me. LOL.

Ah, those sweet 1st World Problems, huh? If we never had any bigger issues than that? I'd like that. :)

So, enough whining.

I'm very happy to see that the weight from Saturday is coming off nice and slow. I'm down 800 grams today, so I am DEFINITELY not complaining about that.

It helps to have a reasonably low cal day right after Indulgence Day. I see that every week. It also simply feels great. It's a good feeling to "empty your stomach" after a day of eating a lot. It makes my whole body happy, and it's something I like doing on Sundays.

I was at work at the gym, so it was easy to do. There isn't really any option to go buy food, other than the protein snacks. If I should end up getting food from there, at least there is a nutritional benefit to it. :)

I did buy a protein bar. I called it lunch, as I didn't bring ANY food, and got hungry around 2 PM. Mind you, at this time it had been over 20 hourse since my last meal. I think it's okay. :)

I did my gym workouts early yesterday before the gym opened, and then I was basically on my feet all day. My stats from yesterday shows the results. :)

So what's in store for today? Well, it's gonna be a quiet day at work. Actually, it's gonna be a quiet WEEK. I have one interview to do today, at 10 AM, and that it's it for the WEEK! It's gonna be easy.

Tonight, I have my weight loss classes. I'm always looking forward to doing these - but I gotta say that if I had the option to skip tonight, then I would. Then again, I don't have the option. I'll survive.

...

I was hungry this morning. I think it had to do with me being so tired. I think it was much more the "stress" of being sleepy than it was actual hunger.

It's a good thing that there was nothing appealing in the fridge, or I would have had it all. Instead, I opted to just buy something on the way to work. Well, on the way to work I decided that I could just have the protein drink I have sitting in the fridge here at work. At least it's more nutritionally sane than just buying bread. And now I am here at work, just having water and coffee, and skipped the protein drink. Well done, Keld. Well done. :)

This made me really proud.

It has now been almost a month with no breakfasts. I don't miss them. Not whatsoever. I had breakfast ONE time, when I was out with my work team, and the end result was me wanting to eat all day, and I ended up doing so. So this definitely motivated me to stay AWAY from breakfast. I don't want it, and I don't need it.

Of course, if I get hungry and feel that I NEED something around breakfast time, I'll go ahead and eat. But as long as my body is truly not asking for anything - and it generally isn't - then there is no point to doing it. I'd much rather save the calories for when I'm hungry.

...

This brings me to another point:

When should I stop losing weight? I have the window for my maintenance weight set from 76 to 80 kilos. I want to be between these two numbers constantly, as much as I can. It's the optimal place for me, I think.

I'm 100% sure that the reason I am higher than 80 kilos today is that I stuffed myself Saturday. I know this. It's not a fat gain, and there is nothing to worry about.

However, I am also pretty sure that I won't just "drop down" to 76 kilos without effort. And then again. I see that when I just stick to RDI on a daily basis - with a little put aside for Saturday's Indulgence Day - then I drop weight. I do good, I feel good.

I keep pondering if it is now or later that I stop trying to LOSE weight, and focus more on just sticking to RDI. I think the insecurity of what I can and can't do will always be there. It's something I just gotta deal with.

My initial thought - and the one I stick with for now - is to try to reach the 76 kilos before I do anything else. I will do it with my weekly Indulgence Day, but I will try to not make it go all crazy.

At the same time I will try to reach the max of my RDI through the week. The same old philosophy about "keeping my body happy", by feeding it enough. I will try to make it proper and reasonable food for the most part, but of course there will be a little fun here and there, especially on Saturdays.

When I reach goal weight, my calorie counter automatically allows me to eat more. If I gain from that, then it'll knock off a little calories again. It's a pretty obvious approach, and I think it'll work.

I gotta say I am impatient to reach goal. I know it will take a little time still, but I want it to be soon. I know I can't rush it though. I know I am doing as much as I can. The only thing I can do more is to either starve myself or over work myself, and that won't give any sustainable results anyways, but just make it harder on myself. There is no point to doing this.

What does work is what I'm doing. Creating the deficit, let my body happily shed the little fat it might have, along with the food that I've eaten on Indulgence Day, and I'll get there.

Who knows, maybe I'll have a nice 2-kilo jump or two again this week? That would bring me right to goal! :) I don't find it likely for this to happen, though. I don't feel a massive fluid buildup like I did last week. And of course last week I was more than three kilos heavier than this week. There's a clear difference.

Still, let's hope for a few small miracles along the way. I'd love to reach 76 soon, and get back to working maintenance instead of weight loss.

Not that it's very different. I don't really go all that high in my calorie intake anyways. Not on a regular week day. However, I like knowing that I am where I'm supposed to be, and not a handful of kilos too high. I don't like that. I want to be where I'm supposed to be.

I know... "Patience, Keld. Calm your s**t down." I will. But sometimes it's just frustrating to be this close to goal, and mentally being AT MY GOAL, and not have the numbers following it. It makes me feel like I'm sliding, and that's a very uncomfortable feeling.

For a few weeks, my Indulgence Days had resulted in higher and higher Sunday weigh-ins. It's not surprising, as they turned into Indulgence Weekends more than just Indulgence Days. I could easily compensate for the calorie intake through the rest of the week, but the high weigh-ins are a pain in the rear.

Besides, a huge food weekend takes more time to drop down in weight from than a simple Indulgence Day. I can reach a new low in a week after Indulgence Day. It's pretty precise, even. But an Indulgence Weekend takes longer, and when there are three in a row(!), the weight piles up. It's not fat, as I know my intake has been okay over the course of the 4 weeks. I pull statistics all the time, and I am in a nice deficit every week, and looking over the last month I have at least 100-200 extra deficit per day on average. I can't say I've done wrong or bad. It's just the way it's spread that makes it affect my weight.

So, hopefully I can do well all of this week, drop even further down than 78.9 (my Saturday weigh-in) and soon claim goal reached.

Of course, it would also be great to have this accomplished before I go see "my" surgeon on August 9th. It's not really a requirement, as I have already been approved for surgery, but I want to make sure everything is good and fine, and I would feel better having reached my goal before then.

Anyways, I'm babbling.

...

Today, I'm thankful for:
- A nice drop in weight. 81.4 today - and working my way under 80 for a more permanent stay.
- Morning coffee! Gimme gallons, please!
- The option of sleeping late without BEING late!

Life is good!

179.5 lb Lost so far: 162.3 lb.    Still to go: 0 lb.    Diet followed 100%.
on diet kingkeld's own diet   losing 12.3 lb a week

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Comments 
Some days we are tired and just can't reason out why. Your body is working on something so asking you slow down a bit, which you did by not walking and no gym. I am sure it's scary/frustrating because the walking is part of you now and part of what keeps you where you want to be. I am sure it is frustrating to be so close to 'goal' and not yet there but you are doing what you should so it will come. Patience is one of the harder virtues :) Hope you feel like your perky self as the day goes on or at least tomorrow. Perhaps this tiredness signals that your body is going to dump some weight tomorrow? And good job on no breakfasts for all that time. Who knew that the teachings we had as kids - breakfast is the most important meal of the day - was a crock of sh$t and that all it did was make you hungrier. I found that too, definitely. Not so much if it was protein and fat but definitely oatmeal or toast or bagels and man oh man it just set me off. Are you still adding coconut oil to your coffee? I am, not sure of its benefits but I do believe (and that's the secret, isn't it, that I believe it) I believe that it is keeping me full/not hungry/ well into the afternoon. Today is going to be a low cal day for me too as my indulgence day ended up being a week-end but all very good food, no garbage, and totally enjoyable.  
15 Jul 13 by member: sarahsmum
I'm glad you enjoyed your Indulgence Day so much you did one more! LOL. Now, just don't make that a habit. I myself did make some bad choices. Being tired makes me want bad food. It's done and gone. Tomorrow is another day. Hopefully a better one, where I'm more alert. :) 
15 Jul 13 by member: kingkeld
Yep, no more indulgence week-end! Life has a way of happening sometimes. We are so busy running back and forth to the hospital that it was just poor meal planning and the buns and meat were so fresh and tasty. I should have entered them into FS before I ate them, as I usually do, and I could have skipped the evening bun but what the heck, thoroughly enjoyed the treat, low cal day today and regular cals during the week. It's all about balance, isn't it, and accepting what we can't change and doing better when we can. My weight was up 1 lb but I know by tomorrow I will be back to baseline and then its onward and downward hopefully. :) 
15 Jul 13 by member: sarahsmum
you should stop losing when you have reached your goal. at that point it will become maintenance. it'll be a weekly checkin with your body. what you ate + activity level + number on the scale = amount of success. if you are gaining or losing to much, then you know you need to make an adjustment. 
15 Jul 13 by member: thewillie

     
 

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