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Today is the start of the rest of the promise I made to myself. I allowed work, kids, my siblings, my friends and family all take priority over me. I know this sounds selfish BUT what about the saying that you have to put your oxygen mask on before you can help everyone else? I have lived my life as a trauma room and have triaged everyone elses life issues above my own and everyone and everything took priority over my own health, weight, mental health and even safety. I know I did all of this at one point to help but then I got so overweight and unhappy so quickly when I was helping everyone else that by the time I noticed I was so disappointed in myself and knew I had become to large to correct is what I called it. So I threw myself in to helping everyone else because it was a distraction and I wouldn't have to care or look at how disappointing disgusting I found myself so I didnt loose weight just stopped looking. THEN when I did have to look in the mirror or at a picture of myself I would just eat my sadness. When my PTSD was triggered and I got scared or sad or depressed I eat my uncomfort till I was uncomfortably full and didnt have to care about whatever upset me. I finally took a hold and found a way f ok make everyone else happy and loose weight. But now after this turning point I dont want to do this for survival I want to do this so I can shop at skinny girl stores, reach my toes, run without giving myself a black eye, fit in my husband's jacket so i can steal it, fit in every ride at the theme park, respect myself, love my body, save money on food, live longer, feel attractive, wear heels, not fly away when my bat wings flap, my thighs not to touch, flexibility, and most of all for me because for once these things are going to take priority BECAUSE I matter. I am done putting every living person above my own health because it's just not healthy. I love them all but giving that much to most that barely give me enough time to even say Hi just........if I'm not a priority and more of an obligation to others then I'm just not obligated to make them a priority then am I? Here is to loving myself through the rest of my self love journey. The best investment you can ever make is in yourself and I'm going all in.
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260.1 lb
Lost so far: 176.9 lb.
Still to go: 10.1 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
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gaining 0.0 lb a week
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