GlennM's Journal, 20 July 2010

Hang in there Glenn! 

:) 

Spent some time reading your journals for the week I was gone...so sorry about the arthritis...and also for the pain...hoping the cortisone injections give you some relief...One day we'll see your poems in print too!!! Keep your chin up Glenn and feel better soon....thanks for stopping by my journal! hugggs 

Thanks drd3775, I went to a poetry group some five months ago or so. It was OK, but the poetry was so incomprehensible much of it. No one there could figure out what the almost every poet was writing about - for example, there were many ways to interpret a lot of stuff that was just plain gibberish. To me that is not fine artistry. If I do eventually get poetry published it may have some difficult vocabulary words in it, but if one looks up the difficult words at least they'll know what I'm conveying. I do believe I will in time have poetry published too... Thanks for the encouragement. Poetry is a breeze after writing books - believe me! 

Glenn: There are sooooo many side effects of cortisone. When I got an injection in my knee, I read up on it somewhat. Almost scares you away completely. If it wasn't for the extreme pain, I would not have taken it. Don't forget with mental illness, cortisone can intensify the depression, so hang in there. Also can annoy your stomach a lot. I also read it can cause tendon rupture, so be extra careful of your leg. Just rest as much as possible and be aware of the side effects so you can report it to your Dr. if necessary. If you haven't read up on it, probably you should so you are aware of what to expect ( or not expect). I was lucky, had nothing that I noticed. I hope you get serious about getting into some warmer weather somewhere before fall and winter arrive. Check into jobs now so if you can move, you can do it while it is still warm. Don't dally too long. Winter is around the corner you know. There must be VA locations all over for American Vets. Check into the ASAP so you can make a good decision. Maybe getting back into the healthcare field would be good. Then you have more access to lots of stuff and knowledge. Lots of magazines used to publish poetry. Do they still? I don't read many magazines, mostly just cooking ones. Have a restful night my friend and I hope you feel lots better. I am so sorry you have been this miserable. Hopefully in a few days the cortisone will really show you some relief. Sleep well and have a nice day tomorrow. 

Glad you can vent here even if it is a side effect of the cortisone! 

Next Number - I have been a bit more depressed since the shots, but was before too because of the pain. There is still pain but it isn't as bad. I will not take the Cortisone again, and besides this time I don't think it will wait six months to kick in. I have income now to stay where I am is likely until at least spring. I will probably have to endure one more winter here and then I must leave most likely and probably won't be able to take my dog. I may be able to get a job answering phones, I will probably apply in the next week or so and leave the labor job, I just can't do it any longer. I am not going back into health care, my nursing license is gone. I needed FOUR HUNDRED dollars to renew it three years ago as it was near expiring and they figure they can soak you and just didn't have the money and no one would loan it to me, so I let it go. I am thinking of going to Hawaii, there is a Veteran's Shelter there on the island I probably can get into quickly, until I find a suitable place to live. I will not come back to visit unless I am wealthy. I made the mistake in the 1980s and got stuck here with my relatives treating me like trash, ALL of them - including my mother especially who wouldn't let me stay at her house and dropped me off at a shelter, but my younger sister lived there till thirty-three with trash for men and she finally just grew up and got a real job a month ago. I don't know what I ever did to my relatives, but there is an unabashed hatred of me by them that is utterly ridiculous and it started in my childhood. If I never see these people again after I leave I will be happy. The Cortisone shot made me see the past for what it was that I was in complete denial about. I will be fine, my friend Bruce is off from work for the next week so will probably be by to do something. He is more like family than my relatives and I have only known him well eight months. Anyway, I will be fine. If getting published in the next six months seems possible I may stay here until I have money but move to a better apartment. Interestingly, in astrology I figured Neptune will be entering my third house (where publishing and writing are highlighted) in a few years and will likely be there for fifteen to twenty years. This may help me come into the public eye in a big way with the writing...  

I just checked an astrology ephemeris or place where planets go in the future. Neptune will be in my third house of writing and publishing etc. until 2031 or so giving me 'luck' until then starting in a few years regarding getting published in a big way. At least I know the 'energy' is there in the future for me to likely be successfully published soon and for an extended period of time with success too... 

hope you get to feelin better glenn..i kno its hard to do anything when your down in the back or you cant move around like your use to...hang in ther...an get better...and then just build yourslf back up slowly so you dont over work nothing... 

Astrology is very interesting but I don't know much about it. I'm not sure if I really believe all that stuff. I used to read my horoscope all the time and a lot of it was nonsense. Could fit anyone. Many years ago I attended a physic party and THAT was pretty amazing. She said some things that were right on the money. I know that stuff is probably hogwash to, but it was fun. Hope you feel better day after day Glenn.  

Next Number - the horoscope in the paper is nonsense used by astrologers for decades now that is useless. One must have their birth chart done and I learned advanced astrology from the radio in Los Angeles. One's life is what one makes it, and sometimes astrology aspects can show compatibility between people. That is where I find it most accurate. For example, the people in my building who I like the most or get along with who other people don't like have compatible aspects to my birth chart and theirs. If a man's Venus is on a woman's Mars it is fantastic for a relationship to work usually and it is rare. There is a famous older man/younger woman in Hollywood I read who have this aspect in their charts and their relationship seems like it will last. Psychics are usually phony, all I know is that the advanced astrology shows me having better luck with the publishing and writing until at least 2031. I'm sure something will come to fruition then, if astrology affects us 1% it is that much of an edge I will have in the future. My friend Luanne regards it as a religion almost and is cuckoo about it to an extreme and she doesn't know half of what she is talking about - she can't fool me. Anyway, for fun anyway it is something I look at. The planets may not have 'pull' on us as they're so far away, as are stars that might affect us, but they have 'energy', like everything else in the universe. That is all everything really is - is energy. Just some thoughts...