59Carol's Journal, 11 March 2019

My heart goes out to you, carol!  

Take care Carol! 

Take care of yourself. Hugs :) 

Honey - just do what you can do. Hugs to you! 

No words can express the struggle you are currently experiencing. The time you have left with your husband is precious. My prayers are for your continued strength. May God be with you and shine His light upon you and your husband. ❤️🙏❤️ 

It's understandable that you want to keep something normal in your life, ie. your water or your diet. But please be kind to yourself. It's hard for most of us to understand the pain you are going through. We love you and care about you at this most difficult time. We are here for you. I am with Erquiaga, she expressed it so well, plus all the others. 

💔 

bless you both. be gentle and patient with yourself and share your love with your husband to the end. focus on that now, we will be here to support you always.  

I’m very sorry. Take this time to take care of yourself. A shift in priorities is certainly warranted. There will be time ahead to pick up and continue on with your own journey— for now, hold your husbands hand and take this last walk of HIS journey at his side. 

So very sorry. This is a time to be good to yourself. Grief knows no boundaries. Prayers. 

There are more important things than diet. God bless you and yours. 💌 

Just do the best you can and try to be kind to yourself during this time of stress and sorrow. 

Dave died yesterday morning at 7 am. He died peacefully. I was with him at the time. The day before we made the difficult decision to put him into a deep sleep. Dave was terribly agitated, restless and delirious. He was unable to sleep. It was breaking all of our hearts to see him so distressed. He went into a deep sleep around 4pm. I slept at the hospital in the bed beside his. It was comforting to hear him breathing although I knew he was unresponsive. In the morning the nurses attended to him and gave him his meds. I put on a CD and began my morning exercises in the hospital room. Sometime in that 20 minutes he slipped away- no sound no indication just stopped breathing. I am so grateful that we gave him a night's pain free rest and so grateful I was with him. I am also grateful that he didn't have an excruciating lingering death. He died a week to the day after his birthday. On his birthday we got a pass and the whole family went to an antique mall and then to a tobacco shop with him. The itinerary was decided by him. I was nervous that he wouldn't be up to it but he was determined. He had an enjoyable day. Starting the following day he began a quick slide downhill. I am home now and will begin to figure out what we need to do. There are the people to tell and the funeral to plan. I appreciate all of your kind words through this. I am not just focused on my food intake but rather in trying to keep some normalcy in my life while not choosing a self destructive eating path. I need normal and I need to make myself strong. That is the only way I know of to face the loss of my husband. He would expect that of me because he knew me so well.  

So sorry Carol. RIP.  

I am so sorry for your loss, Carol. I just want to say that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and there is no timetable. It is also perfectly AOK to take little "time-outs" from feeling intense feelings, knowing you can go back to them after a break. Sending well wishes to you and yours. 

Carol may you be blessed in the knowledge that you have been a rock for Dave prior to his final journey. May the love of this community provide you support in the coming days.  

So sorry for your loss, Carol. 

I am glad you were there with him at the end and that he was pain free in his final hours. Thank you for sharing with us. I hope we can provide some sort of support and love for you during this time of grieving. 

I know you and your family will miss him but so glad you got the chance to be with him. I've heard memories are like time travel. I hope you can celebrate him as you all say farewell. Hugs to you <3 

Carol... A beautiful post in the love it demonstrates,the caring and your fortitude. Having that birthday family trip out was so touching. Glad to hear of the decision to help him cross over, calmly. Yes, doing what he would expect of you is honoring your life together. You ARE a strong woman...you will prevail. Joani