bethinfriend's Journal, 25 April 2018

Good luck with the consultation. They usually have you do research on what to eat and how much, and you have to start losing before the surgery so best to you! Have you talked to your doctor about the depression - they can help with that too. 

Not sure what you’ve already been doing, but any exercise, it can be gentle...like a mellow walk each day can help with depression and overall wellness. Might be good to try if not already doing? Hang in there! 

Don’t be scared, you won’t always be like this. You will one day feel confident and happy. Look, you have a boyfriend, and he loves you. Start there. Start with loving him back, and not putting yourself down for being a different shape than others. Comparing yourself to other asian girls will never make you feel good. I am asian too, I am not small.  

If you haven't talked to your doctor about depression you should. I have major depression and after getting on meds for it life is much easier. I'm more motivated and my self esteem is higher. 

Sharing your feelings and struggles is so brave. keep talking with your doctors and those you trust. Sending you positive thoughts.  

Sweetie, even though I can’t see a picture of you, you are beautiful. I have been married to the love of my life now for 27 years and he has and still does love me no matter what size I am. Please talk to your doctor about your depression, and just know you are loved by many! I am sending you positive thoughts! Stay beautiful!! 🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺 

I agree that a talk with your doctor might be appropriate to address the depression. Talking with someone as well as a quiet walk can be healing for the body mind and soul. Please take good care of yourself. I can tell from your post that you are a lovely caring person and I bet you are very pretty too. May God be with you. I send my love and congratulations on your new love!  

Make an effort to reverse those thoughts if possible as Nothing in life is that bad , although it may seem this way at the present moment!!!! Tough times while they occur, never last forever...... We are all here for your support if needed. Don't be afraid to talk and enter a journal entry for your feelings if needed. Glad to hear you have a new loved one ! Imagine how that person would feel if something happened to you.... Not sure if your on medications, but perhaps see if it can be adjusted.... may not be the right option for you...... Just know You have friends here, so keep going !!!! we all have our demons were struggling with, no one is perfect ----Perfection does not exist!!! Except GOD ! Prayers and thoughts for you and your successful healthy lifestyle. ;)  

It's better start with doing something about depression and eating disorder. Nobody really needs such a traumatic surgery when person is not really unhealthy overweight. It is not your case. I read your journal and it is heartbreaking. But it is not about weight.  

I've been there. Had the balloon placed one and half years ago. It was a horrible decision. Lost 10 pounds in the first month probably because I vomited for a week. After first month my stomach got used to the balloon (probably grew) and I could it like it was not there.  

Sometimes in your life you go into a cocoon "I've walked in your shoes!!" and come out like a beautiful Butterfly !!! Be Strong Butterfly and fly !!!  

I agree, you need to think hard about the balloon as if you don't work on the depression issue, it will only help temporarily. Praying you will hang in there and use the support of your boyfriend to deal with the underlying hurts that drive you to eat. You are precious; a unique, beautiful person! 

I understand. Please remember, what ever we are feeling, 'this too shall pass'. Do what you feel you need to do. I got so frustrated I started fasting (it is working for me). But, weight loss does not fix my depression. Acceptance and gratitude of all things does. 

You can do this. Self affirmation is a great tool. Your weight will always fluctuate by at least +/-5 lbs and sometimes more in younger women so try not to let that discourage you. I can guarantee you won't lose weight by eating just salad, instead try choosing a specific calorie amount and skew your diet to 70% proteins and 30% carbs and fats combined. I have had problems with my weight my entire life and I am 63 years old. I set myself a 1300 calorie a day program with 70% proteins per meal and minimal on the carbs. Our bodies need some carbs to stay balanced. Choose carbs that are simple. If you like potatoes, quarter them and bake them up, drizzle them with a little olive oil, sprinkle with parsley and a little salt and pepper and that is a total card for that meal. Not only is it tasty, you're still getting good carbs. I am diabetic so I also have to watch that. I don't like Counting so this program is awesome in my opinion. I truly believe that you will lose weight if you can stick to 1300 calories a day. It doesn't sound like much but most days I have trouble reaching that because what I'm eating is feeling and curbs appetite. That's what I'm eating extra proteins does. :-) Take the time each day to talk to yourself and tell yourself what a great person you are because that is the truth. Every morning look in the mirror and smile at yourself and tell yourself that you are a loving and deserving person and after a while, you'll believe it. It will be second nature. These are tricks and tips that I have used on myself when I feel like you do. They work because they are based in truth. Best of luck in all you are doing for yourself! :-)