Klynn82's Journal, 18 April 2018

~~HUMP DAY!!!~~

Hey all!! I hope you are all having a wonderful Wednesday!! I know that I am!!

I was talking with my husband earlier about weight loss and stuff and it got me thinking. So many people work so hard to lose weight, some get surgery, or go on crash diets, or whatever it is and then so many gain it all back. I realized what causes that, or what I think causes that. People do not face the addiction first, the food addiction. They cut out things, or cut calories and then binge eat because the addiction rears its head. Our demons keep us fat, keep us believing that we need a cupcake or need a soda or need to eat 3 plates of pasta. We dont need that. We need to be stronger than the demons, stronger than the addiction.

That is why I failed so many times. I never admitted that I was addicted to food. I was addicted to how eating made me feel, how food was always there for me when no one else was, how good it all tasted. I was and still am a food addict. I am learning to control those urges, learning to say no to things that before, I would have eaten immediately. I stood up to my demons and said "no more", they would no longer control me. I was in control.

We all need to get to a point where we are losing for ourselves, for our health, for our happiness, and until we get there, we will never be able to look in the eyes of the demons and tell it that we are done. We can fool ourselves and try, but until you pull out all the weeds, that plant will still grow. Whatever brought us to this place, to this addiction, has to be faced first.

What brought me here was I felt alone. My dad, who was my hero, had died, we moved in with my grandparents that didnt make it a secret that they werent too fond of me. My siblings were either way older than me, or way younger than me so all I had was me. I didnt know how to process grief, I was 6, so I ate. We always had junk food, ding dongs, twinkies, chips, all sorts of stuff. I ate and ate and ate. It made me feel better. I would hide outside and eat 3 or 4 twinkies at a time. I was 7 when I started cooking for the family. I made meals, but would eat while I cooked. I then ate at the table with the family. I had always been a big kid, I am 50% Norwegian, and we are big people but I got FAT. It was too late by the time my mom tried to step in, the addiction had taken hold of me. I was already lost. It took me until I was 35 to realize that I needed to make a serious change. I had tried, many times, but failed, because I was still eating junk and LOTS of it. I never stepped into the face of the addiction and said "Not anymore".

I have done that now, and am stronger than I ever thought I was. My sister sent me a side by side this morning, and I am amazed at how far I have come. Photo on the left was November-ish of last year, photo ont he right was yesterday. I will share it with you all, because you are my family too. Maxie, Kaysea, Patty, Momma, Peasy, John, Deadpool, Marsha, Michelle...and many many more, all of you, you have become my champions and my support and my family. Thank you for being my family. Thank you for loving and supporting me. Thank you for helping me back up when I stumble. Thank you for being you!!

Diet Calendar Entries for 18 April 2018:
1219 kcal Fat: 85.00g | Prot: 96.00g | Carb: 28.00g.   Breakfast: Slim-Fast Shakes - Creamy Milk Chocolate. Lunch: Arby's Roast Beef (No Bun), Arby's Roast Beef (No Bun). Dinner: Kroger Hard Salami, Lafleur Black Forest Smoked Ham, Great Value Sharp Cheddar Cheese. more...
6136 kcal Activities & Exercise: Walking (slow) - 2/mph - 2 hours, Resting - 6 hours, Sleeping - 7 hours and 30 minutes, Driving - 30 minutes, Desk Work - 8 hours. more...

80 Supporters    Support   

1 to 20 of 33
Your post almost made me cry! Wow what a difference, well done you! 
18 Apr 18 by member: Trico1
Well of course we are lovely and just look at you more beautifully radiant than ever...send that old demon my way I have the attitude and doing the kick boxing..I will put a serious hurting on him....thanks for your inspirational insight...your just a wonderful soul...Im honored to be your friend and I appreciate that you are mine...my love and huge hugs to you...best day ever now after reading that...best day ever...love you sweetheart xoxoxo;) 
18 Apr 18 by member: maxie4
Beautiful & amazing woman! 
18 Apr 18 by member: SquirrelB
I know I'm addicted too! 
18 Apr 18 by member: mimi2323
you are doing a great job ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜Š 
18 Apr 18 by member: Keilin_4
100% correct on food being an addiction. Sugar, I believe, is the real source of the addiction.  
18 Apr 18 by member: Jimmy Fries
wow this is awesome. You look great!!! 
18 Apr 18 by member: netty122
I am crying tears of joy for you K. I just wrote a similar less heartfelt message like yours. I too am a recovering food addict and it was a toxic relationship. Food filled that empty void inside me and more - it kept filling until I expanded into a depressed miserable blimp of a human. I couldn't walk, I couldn't sleep without sitting up in a recliner chair because my acid reflux was choking me out at night, the intense burning in my throat for days. I couldn't stand at my sink to do dishes or the stove to cook healthy and I certainly couldn't take my dogs for a walk without almost falling down in the street in tears from the pain and agony my excess fat/weight was putting on my hips and legs. Having to call my Mom to pick me up in her car so I could get back home from half a block away. I feel so grateful for our friendship and this site and everyone who is supportive on our journeys. My boyfriend and I are going to fly down to where ever it is that you and your husband live and I am going to take us all out to a keto brunch as we cheers to our progress and success. This IS a big deal. I love you my friend. Thank you for your friendship, I appreciate it. Your support encourages not just me, but everyone whose lives have come into contact with yours. *hugs* 
18 Apr 18 by member: KayseaLove
You look great and yesI youโ€™rer exactly correct I am addicted to food! 
18 Apr 18 by member: No more diets 2018
I'm right there beside you as a FOOD ADDICT !!!! We will do this together !!! 
18 Apr 18 by member: DO N OK
Hi Klynn, Congratulations on your success!!! Sugar is more addictive than cocaine. They have proven that with rats. I didn't even realize I was addicted to sugar until I tried giving it up. Just about every item on the grocery store shelf has added sugar. The food industry in this country has contributed majorly to the weight problem so many people struggle with. I have been seeing a holistic doctor and he said if I need something sweet to stick to dark chocolate only, the darker the better and eliminate as much other sugars as I can. It has been hard because there is so much added sugar in foods, but I feel so much better. Thanks for sharing your success, it is encouraging!!  
18 Apr 18 by member: Pedal Power
Nice transformation. Congrats! 
18 Apr 18 by member: Draglist
You are so spot on!!! Way to go in fighting back that addiction! 
18 Apr 18 by member: Toumina
Thank you, I needed your post today.  
18 Apr 18 by member: MoonetJo
"We all need to get to a point where we are losing for ourselves, for our health, for our happiness, and until we get there, we will never be able to look in the eyes of the demons and tell it that we are done". This is everything. You nailed it. My motivation has to be me. Your motivation has to be you. Love yourself and send the demons back to Hell where they belong. You are a role model and cheerleader. You look healthy. You were already beautiful inside and out. Thank you for sharing.  
18 Apr 18 by member: teskandar
Great post - hang with us! 
18 Apr 18 by member: HCB
You should be so proud of yourself! The realization that you alone have the power is totally awesome.  
18 Apr 18 by member: clay pot baker
So glad you have come to this realization and I am sure you may slip and fall, but you won't go back down that trail again. I love your stories, I love you and support you. I look for your name when I read posts because you are such an inspiration to me. You keep trying and holding on regardless of your circumstances. I wish you well in all that you do. You look awesome and you ROCK!! 
18 Apr 18 by member: bizzybee38
You're not alone. You know that now. How much have you lost? It looks like a substantial amount. What an improvement, you hard work is paying off. Buckle in, honey, this is going to take a while BUT I am here; the regulars are here. We're not going to bug you or abandon you. IT IS WORTH IT. 
18 Apr 18 by member: Jipper500
thanks for the great post - if we don't deal with the underlying causes that drive us to over eat...we will continue to do so. we have to get down to causes and conditions - and then take action to make a change. I have to want my new life more than my old one. I am glad you are here and show us how to make a difference.  
18 Apr 18 by member: tahoebrun


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