CalorieKiller's Journal, 14 January 2008

So, who's as sick of dieting as I am? Nobody! I'm still plugging away but I am getting incredibly bored thinking about what I eat all the time and with the focus it takes to make the right choices. The whole thing is like a skill you take for granted suddenly rendered useless. For example, think about speaking English for most of us. After a precious few years after birth, it becomes almost effortless to listen and understand English. But if you speak a second language as an adult, every time you hear it and practice you have to focus so hard on every conversation it is exhausting after a while. That is what it feels like focusing on food for over 5 months straight. I guess this is probably why I'm not journaling enough. I haven't been working out very often either. Only 2 times this past week.

I feel very worn out lately taking care of my son. He's only taking one nap a day now, and often only stays down for 45 minutes. He is requiring more and more constant vigilence and attention--his mouth is very curious. This week he attempted to eat 1) a blue crayon b) styrofoam c) a christmas lightbulb (didnt' know it was there) c) some piece of soemthing I couldn't identify. I vacuum all the time and am constantly scanning the floor but he has amazing skills finding offensive materials to eat. I find myself looking forward to the quiet house after 10PM when I can read for a couple hours and have some time to myself. My husband is getting no attention and I feel bad but it's either him or me. I can't say taking care of my child is as exhausting as working full time in corporate America (for me), but it is tiresome in a different way. Mostly, the sponteneity of my days has evaporated into a bunch of stuff I cannot adjust in the schedule, all day long. In fact, most of my "heavy lifting" work wise starts after 6PM when my husband gets home and we all have dinner. I'm not sure that being a stay at home mom is for me...I'm getting bored and feeling restless already.

Today I had some pumpkin seeds but other than that I was on track. But this week I sucked so who knows what my weigh in will be like tomorrow.
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Sounds like you're in some sort of a rut.. and as far as kids, now you know why I get up at the crack of dawn, lol.. I am not really a "morning person" but gosh, it's worth it to have some peace and quiet! My older son and daughter are either fighting or trying to escape the property (lol, I don't like them going off too far) and my 3 year old is probably the most destructive little kid I know, LOL. He's learning to talk big and some of the things coming out of this kid's mouth ... just really shocks me! Oh, and I not only chase after him 24 hours a day BUT he's a big boy now and he "don't kiss anymore".. that's sickening to him! Ugh! Wait until your son starts to soak your whole bathroom just taking a bath, LOL.... Sounds like your tired... Ahhh.. the life of a MOTHER! Just stick w/ it.. I know about the husband thing.. I feel bad too sometimes but w/ me.. it's sleep, something I hardly ever get anymore but ONE DAY.... You'll find your MOJO again. Don't give up!!!!!!!! 
15 Jan 08 by member: lorik
I always feel blah when I'm not getting enough rest and haven't had the time to exercise. hang in there though, things will get better. I'm glad kaelyn's past the "eat everything" stage, boy do I remember those days!! Not fun! 
15 Jan 08 by member: Lotus
It is particularly hard staying on track when you're home all day - I know because I failed miserably to lose any weight at all until I went back to work! I must say that I was ready to go back to work, albeit on reduced hours, once my little boy turned 1, but it is a personal thing. Could you just get some childcare one day a week, so that you have a day off to rest and re-energise? Hope you're feeling better today. 
16 Jan 08 by member: Lucybell33
Yeah, I think being at home is part of it sometimes... But in a way it is easier because I can sit down and make the time to eat what I'm supposed to, and shop for the right things. I don't lose track of time like I did aat the office, constantly skipping meals. I think I'm just bored with focusing on this. I do feel better in the last couple days. My son's temperament has improved a bit so he's been easier to manage. Since we returned home from the holidays he has been 'acting up' but now thing seem to be returning to usual. 
16 Jan 08 by member: CalorieKiller

     
 

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