HerStrawberri's Journal, 22 July 2011

Happy Friday!! **WARNING!! Parts NOT diet related**

I hope everyone is having a good start to the weekend. I'm very happy today as my P finally comes home. yay! We are going to see Harry Potter tomorrow and I'm sooooo excited! I would of went last weekend, but my mom was here. I'm an avid Harry fan and can't wait for this final movie. It's sad though, knowing this will be the last movie. Oh well. All things must come to an end I guess. It always seems, though, the GOOD things come th their end WAY faster then the bad things. LOL.

I'm SO happy I'm below my weigh in weight from last week. I've also started to notice my fat roll isn't as noticable under my t-shirts as before. That's even without wearing a fat-sucker. I noticed that last night as i tried on a tshirt I haven't worn in over a year. It fit AND my roll wasn't burging as bad. Good feeling I tell ya. =)

After waiting on the phone for over an hour, I finally got someone from financial aid on the phone, it seems everything is in order for my school. YAY!! I was worried it wasn't going to get here by 08/01 which is the date I have to have my tuition pd. SOooo, that's one thing I don't have to worry about anymore. =)

My goal is to be down to 310 or below by 08/25. That's the day i start school. I wanted to be below 300, but that isn't going to happen, so I'm going for 310. I think i can do it. Especially if I keep my weekends on plan. I'm NOT trying for big weekly losses as i want to make sure I keep this weight off. I need to have reasonable expectations. While, of course, i wish i could lose 10 lbs every week....it's just not reasonable. 2-3 lbs a week is good for me. Very attainable if i stick with my plan and keep moving. It's a GREAT feeling knowing you CAN do something, knowing you HAVE done it even with all the doubts and self loathing. I know I CAN do this and I WILl get to my goal weight. I also know that I will fix what's broken inside. Hopefully for good this time. I have seen a lot of life and have felt a lot of pain. For so long all I would do was stuff it down. I never really allowed myself to 'feel' whatever it was that i was stuffing. I learned from a very young age stuffing was better then dealing. My whole life has been about me hiding my true feelings and emotions...Trying to be what i thought I SHOULD be and not what I wanted to be. I'm slowly starting to really understand what is inside of me. What I need to fix and what I need to just let go of. There is a song by Coldplay called 'I will fix You'. The first time I heard that song I cried. At first I had NO idea WHY I was crying. After a while I realized that this song was from me to my 'inner self'. My inner self is so many things, a hurt 4 yo, a hurt teenager, a hurt adult....I need to FIX those hurts if I'm ever going to be ok. The only person who can 'fix' me is ME. And 4 months ago I made the decision and the commitment to finally DO IT. It's now or never. I choose NOW.


Sorry for the long journal. I didn't start out wanting to say all of this. I guess it was just time for me to get some of it out.

FIX YOU

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And on your face I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And on your face I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you




Have a great weekend my FS buddies!


Diet Calendar Entries for 22 July 2011:
1307 kcal Fat: 67.13g | Prot: 130.42g | Carb: 45.50g.   Breakfast: Brown 'n Serve Turkey Sausage Patties, Medium Eggs. Lunch: Chicken Breast, Light Ranch Dressing. Dinner: Chicken Breast. Snacks/Other: Slim-a-Bear No Sugar Added Bars - Krunch. more...
3545 kcal Activities & Exercise: Resting - 16 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...

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Comments 
Thanks for sharing! At least one person needed to read this. 
22 Jul 11 by member: caterpillar52
Great post and great song. :) Enjoy your weekend with P and can't wait to hear what you two decide to do menu wise too! I swear I'm gonna fall out if I hear you tried a new veggie, lol! :D 
22 Jul 11 by member: nolechick
Good job, keep it up !!  
22 Jul 11 by member: monroefaye

     
 

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