Cocodeluxe's Journal, 29 June 2009

so here I am again. Another vacation in a few days and im still fat. I have a trainer that I don't see often enough. That's mostly my doing. I have a diet that I'm not sticking to. It's hard. I promised myself and my husband that I wouldn't give up. I keep trying but every failure make me feel worse about myself. So V told me about this site and I'm going to try it. Atkins really worked for me a couple of years ago so I will try that too. I just have to make sure that I am 20 lbs lighter by sept this year. Fertility treatments will start again then being less overweight will help things. I'm scared. Of not ever losing the weight. Of not ever getting pregnant. Of not ever having a good sex life. Of loosing my husband and myself. I'm such a different person with this weight. Not as confident or into clothes, hair, makeup. I'm sick of walking under a cloud of shame. I would like to be as fit as I was at 23... I know I can be. I also need to be disciplined. I pray that I can be.

Diet Calendar Entries for 29 June 2009:
948 kcal Fat: 51.97g | Prot: 75.95g | Carb: 43.90g.   Breakfast: grilled chicken breast. Lunch: fillet mignon, steamed veg. Dinner: steamed veg, Italian Sausage, hot dog bun. more...
3223 kcal Activities & Exercise: Desk Work - 8 hours, Sitting - 6 hours, Sleeping - 10 hours. more...
on diet Atkins  

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