Rob.c.weiss's Journal, 29 May 2014

Hey, everyone.

I'm still getting clobbered at work. Between that and taking care of the kid, and helping mom out where I can... it leaves little time for FS. Ugh. I really miss it, and ALL OF YOU! I know some on here may feel I'm snubbing you, but I truly am not -- certainly not with any intention. But working so many hours, keeping up with my family, and still trying to be good about exercise and food choice is not leaving much time to breathe. It will probably be this way for the next few months until this project settles down a bit. Until then, I'll post when I can, and do my best to respond to people here and there. Please accept my apologies. I miss you all!!!

I actually began this journal more as a "note to self", to help organize some of my thoughts so I could refer to them later. As I wrote it, I realized others on here might benefit from some of this info. So I changed a few things, and turned it into a journal entry. I hope it helps someone.

AGAIN I miss you all. I hope you're doing GREAT!

<H2>Binge Eating</H2>
Last night I had a pretty solid binge -- and it wasn't my first one since losing all this weight. I have been slowly coming to the conclusion that I finally came to last night: I still have a binge problem. Of course, I should have come to that realization a bit sooner, but I tend to be kind of dense when it comes to myself. And women. I'm dense on that topic, too.

I decided to Google "how do I stop binge eating", and found this great article by Nia Shanks: 20 Tips for Breaking Free from Binge Eating. Wow, she did a very nice job laying it all out. If you've ever had any issues with binge eating -- especially if you suspect you still do -- you should read this.

Now a lot of these I already know, and am good about keeping conscious about. And to be honest, virtually ALL OF THEM, I was doing for a long while on my big weight loss -- some without even realizing it. As I read the article last night, the points that really stuck out for me were:

#3 ("Stop trying to be perfect")
#6 ("Celebrate ALL victories and don’t dwell over minor set-backs")
#7 ("Ditch the rigid rules")
#15 ("Be kind to yourself")

These four are all kind of related -- they are all sides to the same die. And to me, they are truly the crux of the issue. IMHO, if you really want to stop binge eating, these are the 4 points that really matter most.

It was when I came to #3 ("Stop trying to be perfect") that I remembered at my best I was doing this one, and somewhere along the way I kind of stopped. I think at first, being "perfect" worked because I was already in my stride. Being "perfect" isn't a problem, of course -- until you hit an obstacle. That's when it breaks down. That's when you berate and lash out at yourself for failure. That's when the self-destructive behavior really begins. That's when the wallowing in self-pity kicks in full force; when you de-evolve (devolve?) and allow the door to open for continued self-destruction.

But obstacles happen. It's life.

<H2>Fits and Starts</H2>
I've kind of been stuck in fits and starts for the last few months. It isn't that I'm not trying. Believe me, I'm TRYING HARD! And I think I've slipped into this "being perfect" model again. That was what I used to do with all the other diets -- the old ones that didn't work. Finally last year I got past all that. And my biggest hurdle in getting there was the decision I'd made: if I fell, I wouldn't dwell on it, I wouldn't bite my own head off; I'd just stand up, dust off and get moving again. Making a mistake was human, and I had to accommodate it, but not encourage it. Instead of "Go big or go home", when I fell, I had to not green-light more bad choices; I told myself that one little blankety-blank was no big deal, but it was time to stop and move on. I'd gotten pretty good at that. Sometime around Christmas or into the New Year, I think I stopped doing that. Or at least I had stopped being good about it.

Nia Shanks' bullet-points on this (above) are all very good. I kind of wish she'd put them together in her list. I think they would have had more power. But, at the height of my success, I was doing all of them. And last night I realized I needed to do them again.

If this topic interests you, you should read what she says on each point. She has a lot of good information within each bullet point I've listed here. I've only put the bullet points, but she provides a great deal more information about each, and it is all good. Take a look.

<H2>Weighing and Cheat Days</H2>
She has a number of other points in her article as well -- 16 more to be specific. And they are all good points too. You have to remember that these are the points that helped her in her own personal struggle. Two more in particular caught my attention:

#4 ("Stay off the scale")
#5 ("Ditch cheat days")

As I mentioned in my last journal, I've decided to do #4. And while I have not recorded my weight on FS in awhile, I've been less than perfect about staying away from the scale. I really do think there is something to this. Especially when you get closer to goal and the scale just does not move like it used to. Going forward I'm going to tighten down on all these points -- sort of aim for perfection in handling imperfection. Hah!

And "cheat days". Ugh. This and my carb-backloading kind of go hand-in-hand. While I do think carb-backloading has been very valuable for me, I still haven't quite dialed-in two aspects of it:

The first is when I need it. There are times it works, and times it does not... and I have yet to discover the method for knowing in advance when that is. I wish there were some gauge on our bodies that would tell us. Nothing is ever that simple. But the second thing I have struggled with when I carb-backload is that it is so easy to get carried away. I honestly believe this second one also plays into the first... sometimes I may have needed the carb-backload, but it failed because I overdid it. Ugh. I have to work on this. I think the key here may lie in "listen to your body" ... a sub-point Nia Shanks raises in her text on point #7 ("Ditch the rigid rules").

My posts generally have a chart involved. So I felt it necessary to include one, even though there was no logical reason to. So, here is my gratuitous chart:

Anyway, this is what I'm working on now. I'm so glad I found this article. I've come so far, and only have about another 30 pounds I want to lose. I'm slowly coming to the conclusion that the struggle for that last 30 may be just as hard as the first 140 lbs I lost -- if not harder.

By the way, in case you were wondering... a Google search on "how do I understand women" didn't really provide a whole lot of value. I guess they are mysterious even to the miraculous and otherwordly power of Google. I bow to the mystic and unknowable power that is the better gender -- the only question for which Google holds no answer.

TAKE CARE ALL, and BEST WISHES to all of you!!! Keep rocking, and keep smiling!
202.0 lb Lost so far: 138.0 lb.    Still to go: 22.0 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.

Diet Calendar Entry for 29 May 2014:
692 kcal Fat: 24.12g | Prot: 80.06g | Carb: 31.15g.   Breakfast: Konsyl Psyllium Fiber, Universal Nutrition 100% Beef Aminos, Spring Valley Omega 3 Fish Oil, Half and Half Cream, Coffee (Brewed From Grounds), Splenda No Calorie Sweetener Packets, Truvia Truvia Sweetener (Packet) (Net Carbs), Splenda Nectresse Sweetener (Packet) (Net Carbs), Syntrax Nectar Twisted Cherry Whey Protein Isolate, Blue Diamond Almond Breeze Original Unsweetened Non-Dairy Beverage. Lunch: Konsyl Psyllium Fiber, Splenda Nectresse Sweetener (Packet) (Net Carbs), Coffee (Brewed From Grounds), Splenda No Calorie Sweetener Packets, Truvia Truvia Sweetener (Packet) (Net Carbs), Half and Half Cream, Blue Diamond Almond Breeze Original Unsweetened Non-Dairy Beverage, Syntrax Nectar Fuzzy Navel Whey Protein Isolate. Dinner: Half and Half Cream, Coffee (Brewed From Grounds), Splenda No Calorie Sweetener Packets, Truvia Truvia Sweetener (Packet) (Net Carbs), Splenda Nectresse Sweetener (Packet) (Net Carbs), Blue Diamond Almond Breeze Unsweetened Vanilla Milk, Syntrax Nectar Twisted Cherry Whey Protein Isolate, Carl Buddig Corned Beef. Snacks/Other: Claussen Kosher Dill Pickle Halves. more...
on diet Rob.c.weiss's own diet   gaining 0.7 lb a week

18 Supporters    Support   

Take care of yourself and your life. We miss you, but also understand. Be well. 
29 May 14 by member: ClassicRocker
I was beginning to worry about you. Glad your back. You'll get it when you're ready. I hung for a few months myself. 
29 May 14 by member: northernmusician
Thanks for stopping in to share this with us. We all appreciate a visit when you have a minute. The timing of this article is incredible and I am sure great for many of us that battle with disordered eating. I just ended a binge period yesterday (loads of ice cream was involved) and this was day 1 of more human like eating behavior. And the new chart, what can I say, it is more informative than usual, you nailed it! LOL! Oh yeah good luck with the ladies I hear they are bananas. ;P 
29 May 14 by member: ChicaLean
Thank you for caring and sharing! All the best to you, Rob! 
29 May 14 by member: Deb_N
We miss you, but sometimes life gets in the way (and we can all understand that). As long as you keep taking care of what's important -- staying connected with your health and family -- we'll be here when you get back! :D 
29 May 14 by member: LuC2
Miss you too buddy..Take care of you... 
29 May 14 by member: BHA
Live your life, Rob. Love hearing from you when you do get the time. Good points on binge eating.  
30 May 14 by member: Draglist
Great Post. Thanks for sharing the good info. 
03 Jun 14 by member: TXSnowman
I'm getting back to it, you can too! 
19 Jun 14 by member: kilna
Really enjoyed this post!! Good luck! 
19 Jun 14 by member: angel381
Rob. :( It's been 3 weeks. Where are you, man. 
19 Jun 14 by member: northernmusician
Wrote to him a couple of times and he's not responded. He works a lot of hours, so hoping that's all it is.  
19 Jun 14 by member: ClassicRocker
I'm late to this party but just want to say, family must come first, and hands-on living in the physical world has demands that must be met. So no need to apologize for that, you FS family understands. Excellent points in your journal. 
19 Jun 14 by member: jmb3450
Thanks for checking in, Rob. Get it all done and we'll welcome you back when you have time! 
19 Jun 14 by member: Draglist


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