suthrngirl's Journal, 17 May 2014

If you have a weak stomach don't read this because I have a feeling it's gonna be the equivalent of a large, grown woman laying on the floor kicking and screaming.

Yes, I'm about to have a pity party. I'm realizing that I am a food addict. Food to me is like a needle to a junkie and I can't get this monkey off my back. I can't recall being depressed ever. Sad once in awhile but never depressed. I don't know that I am now. I think lack of sleep and loneliness are what keep breaking me down. I'm still trying but damn I just want to scream at times.

I had a friend that would text me late at night when I couldn't sleep but he's gone back to bar-tending and we don't talk as much. I need that one on one sharing and brain picking to keep me sane. I really want friendship instead of a relationship. All my close friends have family and live in different cities. Music is about the only thing that keeps me motivated.

I find myself having to recommit to eating healthy every week. I have to do this! I want to do this! I had a trainer before and found it easier but can't afford one or a weight loss program. There are good free ones like this but I don't have the accountability. Maybe if I had someone to call and talk to instead of eat, it would help. I have to do this myself. Kinda like if a tree falls and no one is there does it make a sound. When E goes home after work does she really eat what she should when no ones looking.

This is hard. I read success stories on here and I'm inspired but not enough to make it happen in my life. If others can do this surely I can. I don't crave carrots though. I crave carrot cake. How do you switch the unhealthy cravings off? Where is Harry Potter with his wand and a clever spell when you need him?

I'll go to bed tonight and try and put this pity party to sleep. I will weigh in the morning, put my big girl panties on and keep on trying. I turn 50 at the end of this year. I don't have a big weight loss number for my goal. I just hope for a few pounds lost and a healthier lifestyle.

Oh, and can some one please come and get their damn monkey!?!?!?!
on diet suthrngirl's own diet  

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I hear ya. I don't how to switch cravings off completely; it is a constant battle, BUT what I have found that helps is visualization. TV uses it all the time. They put a gorgeous cheesecake, or whatever and the mouth waters because they put the best foot forward. Whenever I am craving something I know will prevent me from my goal, I first visualize how I look now and associate it with what it is I am craving. I know some folks actually put pictures up in the kitchen, or bathroom mirror, wherever it works for them. Especially when you don't have others nearby to encourage you; this may be another weapon for your weight loss arsenal that you can use. Hope this has been helpful. 
17 May 14 by member: Aichihuahua
Re-committing every week...I have to re-commit EVERY DAY..so you are not alone in this! Is there someone you can share with - at work or a family member? I have only just now this week had the courage to do that so I know it can be confronting. I work at a gym and have done for 10 years - in the crèche - so imagine how much help the staff have always wanted to give me!! But for me that made it harder as I was embarrassed. I hate being told what I should do so it made me run a mile from exercise - after all, how would all those skinny fit people know how I felt? Now that I have had the guts to get their help, on my terms, I feel their support. they always did support me - I just didn't accept it. This is your journey, on your terms, all for you. Only you can make it happen, and you deserve it, the health, the energy, the looking good and the confidence that comes with it. Keep trying, every day. You can do it!  
18 May 14 by member: MonMonB
Try logging all your food and water. It makes me do better because I don't want to write down anything I shouldn't have had. I figured out that if one thing is wrong, I don't need any other information, I just do wrong the whole day, so I don't let it happen. I have a lot of health issues, joint pain, asthma, migraine, IBS, chronic fatigue.. I will not be fat anymore too. I am in my fifties now, and I have had it with this whole thing. I have a long way to go, but I don't know, this time I just know I will be a successful person in this. I have to say I pray a lot more, for strength, grace and courage. A lot of my friends here and I have food in common, and so I don't see them as much now. I have to do this on my own, except for you all. I don't allow myself to be tempted too often anymore. I too recommit every AM, and I thank God for getting me through the day before. We are all her e for you. I found that L-glutamine has taken away my cravings for sweets. I just ate some trail mix that had raisins in it, and it was waaay to sweet. Never thought I would say that. If you need someone to talk to, talk to us!  
19 May 14 by member: clarasdaughter

     
 

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