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22 degrees and snow is falling here in North Idaho. We so thought Spring was around the corner and now everything is looking again like a winter wonderland!! I should know better. Every year we get a thaw and then it snows again. But, it's all good!!! I just finished my time on my elliptical machine ... out did myself today, an hour and 18 minutes!! Felt good. The scale dipped down again today which I did not expect but was happy about.
One would think this would get easier the closer you got to your goal weight. I am actually finding it more difficult. Not the eating part but mentally. I find myself fretting about eating out, breaking my routine. I dread getting on the scale. I think it is the fear that I won't be able to maintain my progress, that I will do what I have done time and time again which is lose a significant amount of weight and then return to my old habits and gain a significant amount of weight.
So, I talk to myself a lot these days, working towards changing not only my behavior but what I am telling myself, my self-talk. That is really the toughest part of this for me. A life time of habits that tell myself I am not attractive, I am a fat person, I must do everything PERFECTLY. I've learned a lot and made some very positive changes over the years of my life but this weight struggle, the struggle to accept my body is definitely one of the most stubborn struggle I still battle.
Today is good though. Life is good!! I deserve to be comfortable in my own skin!! I deserve to feel good about my body. And ... most importantly I do not need to be perfect!!! And I need to be in the moment of now ... not worry about what I will eat on April 4th, my birthday, our anniversary!!! Writing this down brings a smile to my face and I can laugh with myself!! I'm sure there are others out there that can relate ... know that you aren't alone ... there is at least one other person who feels "crazy" sometimes ... that's me!!!
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212.2 lb
Lost so far: 47.0 lb.
Still to go: 27.2 lb.
Diet followed 100%.
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Diet Calendar Entries for 07 March 2009:
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1360 kcal
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Fat: 25.12g | Prot: 90.00g | Carb: 197.50g.
Breakfast: medifast cocoa, water. Lunch: perrier, Select Harvest Tequila Lime Chicken and Rice Soup. Dinner: Green Giant Broccoli & Carrots with Garlic & Herbs, Lean Gourmet Three Cheese Chicken. Snacks/Other: Jello Sugar Free Creme Brulee, Kashi GOLEAN Crunchy Chocolate Almond Bar, 2% Milk Pepper Jack Cheese Singles, turkey slices, Snickers Nutrition Bar, Benefit Peach Yogurt. more...
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3891 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Standing - 1 hour, Sitting - 4 hours, Desk Work - 2 hours, Housework - 2 hours, Precor Elliptical - 1 hour and 18 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 5 hours and 42 minutes. more...
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losing 7.0 lb a week
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