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I have not lost any weight since I had my second son two years ago. I am fairly certain this was due to my birth control (IUD) and I was quite aware of the fact that I was gaining weight, but I considered it an acceptable trade off for reliable, easy birth control. I hated the way my body looked, but even extreme dieting measures only served to make me gain weight. I don't LOOK fat. Almost all the weight I have gained is concentrated around my butt, thighs, and abdomen. I didn't like the way I looked, but I thought I was doing okay. Then the ball dropped.
My husband told me one night that he thought I had "let myself go." He wasn't trying to be mean but he was very concerned. I still don't think he realizes how connected a woman's weight is to her overall image of herself. His words absolutely devastated me. Even now, I cry when I think about them.
I went to the doctor and got the birth control removed early last month and have started doing Denise Austin's 12 minute workout DVD every day. I have cut all sugar and refined starches out of my diet completely and I am really going to try and hold myself to a diet.
I hate the way I look. I am ashamed to be naked around my husband. I know mentally that he loves me and just wants me to be healthy, but the hurt and pressure to look like I did before I had two kids is really bearing down on me.
Diet Calendar Entries for 01 January 2011:
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1257 kcal
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Fat: 60.95g | Prot: 48.98g | Carb: 133.00g.
Breakfast: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. Dinner: root beer, vanilla ice cream, antipasto salad, Roasted Broiled or Baked Chicken Wing (Skin Eaten). Snacks/Other: microwave popcorn. more...
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1903 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Stretching (yoga) - 12 minutes, Resting - 15 hours and 48 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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