*Starshine*'s Journal, 13 November 2013

Finally faced the wardrobe-weeding yesterday and packed up all my old size 18-24 clothes. I say 'old' but they're not really; in fact, a few of them I hadn't even worn once before I began losing weight. It was weird going through them. The clothes hold so many memories, sometimes happy ones but all too often sad ones. I didn't actually like what I was wearing very often and usually my goal was just to hide as many excess bulges as I could. Although I'll be giving the clothes to charity, it also felt a bit of a shame to be getting rid of the nicer stuff -- clothes that have been real old favourites for years and that saw me through so many times. In the end, there's was a good £1000 (about $1600) of clothes in there.

Clearly, I'm still trying to get my head around the fact that I'm now a size 12 (US 8) in tops and a size 16 (US 12) in jeans. I kept trying things on, thinking "Surely that must still fit me", only to find myself swamped in them. Just beforehand, I watched a rather depressing TV program about people (mainly women) who lose huge amounts of weight and then regain it, plus some. Plenty of them had lost 100 lbs + and sworn they'd never put it back on again but, with every piece of clothing I put in the charity bag, I also found myself swearing "I'll never be that size again." I found myself thinking, too, about all the people who will wear these clothes and hoping that they didn't feel as sad as I did in them.

Friends have told me to get rid of my "fat clothes" because, otherwise, it's just too easy to start wearing the bigger things again. I have still to take the bag to the charity shop, only because I didn't have a car at the time to drive there and the bag is vast! Of course, I could have the clothes altered but getting rid of them feels like a major step in letting go: out with the old, in with the new. With that massive black bag, it's like I'm letting go of the past ten years, stepping past all the pain and pent-up reasons why I gained the weight, letting go of a whole 'nother self and embracing all the potential of this new future self.

Diet Calendar Entries for 13 November 2013:
1257 kcal Fat: 40.08g | Prot: 120.71g | Carb: 91.19g.   Breakfast: 2% Fat Milk, Decaffeinated Tea Unsweetened, Scallions or Spring Onions, Philadelphia 1/3 Less Fat Cream Cheese, Morrisons Carvery Peppered Ham, Water. Lunch: Baked or Broiled Salmon, Green String Beans, Couscous (Cooked), Water. Dinner: Skinless Chicken Breast, Zucchini, Bell Peppers, Multigrain Bread, Philadelphia 1/3 Less Fat Cream Cheese. Snacks/Other: Water, Almonds, Whitefish (Mixed Species), Fage Total 0% Fat Free Authentic Greek Yoghurt, Dill Cucumber Pickles, Nairn's Oat Cake, Muller Light Fat Free Yoghurt. more...
3486 kcal Activities & Exercise: Housework - 4 hours, Desk Work - 3 hours, Walking (brisk) - 4/mph - 30 minutes, Circuit Training - 30 minutes, Jogging, 6.5 mph - 45 minutes, Resting - 7 hours and 15 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...

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Comments 
Look at you! How wonderful to be giving away all those clothes. What a great relief to say you are DONE with those sizes. It will be good to get rid of them and slowly replace with them with beautiful, new smaller sized clothes. Congratulations!!! 
13 Nov 13 by member: kkd1125
Thank you, Kristy, for appreciating what a momentous moment this is, and I am indeed replacing things as you say. It's only when you've been up to a size 24 (US 20) that you really appreciate the unadulterated THRILL of getting your ass into size 16 (12) jeans! And while being healthy has always been my primary goal, it was still fan-bloody-tastic going to go to a party last Saturday night dressed head-to-toe in new clothes that not only showed my hard-won new curves but also that I really liked! 
13 Nov 13 by member: *Starshine*
Nodding - I've been one of those 'never again' people - have regained 100+lbs four times. I've given away massive quantities of large clothes with the same promise. When I lost the weight in my 40's I kept them because two previous 'failures' felt it wise but even when I still regained it as feared... I didn't wear those clothes; it was embarrassing to pull them back out of the closet or storage so I bought new anyway. I'd kept my smallest size clothes too but got rid of those as well as I knew I wouldn't dress the same as I did then. Clothes have memories - true. Time to make new ones with the new 'you'. 
13 Nov 13 by member: FullaBella
What a fantastic achievement startrekker,I myself got rid of my size 18/24 s almost 9 years ago and although I am still struggling to get of those last few stone ( lost 2 since march this year now and one more to go) I am at last in a size 12 :) I am determined to get that last stone off and even if I don't do it by Xmas it will happen in the new year:) I mountain walk 3 times a week ,cycle 20to30 miles twice a week and swim every day so I get plenty of exercise :) I think you have done fantastically well done :)  
14 Nov 13 by member: Christine payne
Star, I had the pleasure this morning while getting dressed for work of going through 3 or 4 more pants/shirts that were too big and had to put them in the too-big pile. My pile is getting quite large again and I think it's time for a shopping run so I don't have to wear the same 4 pairs of pants all the time. My hubby says just get my clothes altered, but when IU did that about 20 lbs. ago, the altered pants I got back kind of gathered in the back since the waist was taken in, but still had all the extra fabric around the butt and crotch and made it look like I was wearing a diaper. I told him you just can't alter a pair of pants to fit a 50-lb. loss. I wish I could wear more skirts, but I'm still not a skirt/dress kind of girl at work - only for special occasions. I carry so much weight in my legs that I've always wanted to hide them. even after losing 50 lbs. and I can see and feel that my legs are smaller, the extra skin sag around my lower thighs and knees is not attractive so I won't wear a skirt. I hope that with the next 50 lbs. to lose this will come off so I can expose my legs to the world finally. Ha ha! 
14 Nov 13 by member: kkd1125
Oh you're too funny, kkd! I know just what you mean about the diaper-effect; I've got that with the old size 20s I'm wearing just now to do our renovation work. I've also always carried more weight on my legs than anywhere else and have spend years hiding them in trousers. For me, it's the horrid pouches just above the back of my knee, at the base of my inside thighs, that I hate most. Like you, I'm hoping that another 26 pounds (and lots of running, Pilates, circuit training, +, +, +) will let me wear skirts shorter than ankle length and maybe (please?) shorts in summer! We must compare leg pictures once we get there! 
14 Nov 13 by member: *Starshine*

     
 

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