Chris1979's Journal, 20 October 2010

I'm sorry your having a tough time - I totally know how it feels to be juggling to many balls. Between working (almost) full time, having two kids, a husband, and trying to do "fun stuff" with them at night and on weekends, I feel like there is just not time for anything anymore. I have clean clothes in my hamper, dirty undies on the floor, and I don't even want to step foot into my kitchen its so messy half the time. We all go through this - your not a debby downer, YOUR HUMAN! Maybe you should sit down with a calendar and try to prioritize your week - if nothing else, it may make you feel better. Set aside time to do homework and studing, house work, couponing (we know your gona do it anyway!!) and other stuff. And I'm always around if you need someone to text or even call! Have a good one lady. 

Chris we all have times when we get down. Don't feel bad about that. And feeling like you are only doing things half way, and not "perfectly", well that is your perception, and most likely no one else sees it that way. And who said it all needs to be perfect, anyway? What people think about you is important, but not nearly as important as what you feel about you. If you really are unhappy being in law school, why are you continuing? If you don't want to be a lawyer, then don't be a lawyer. I have a sister who is a mechanical engineer....she makes really great money, has a big beautiful house, two beautiful sons, a wonderful hubby, she is living the American dream....but (you knew there had to be one, right?) she isn't happy. Her true passion was to be a math teacher, but by the time she figured that out, she felt like she couldn't change directions. She THOUGHT that she had too much time invested in the engineering degree. When I tell her today to just quit the job she despises, and become a teacher, she says it's too late, they have too much stuff to pay for...too many bills, that her great paying job pays. But she is stressed, unhappy, and never has a single minute to stop and slow down, to really do the things that make her happy. So think seriously about what is going to make YOU happy....if being in law school isn't what you want, see how many of your credits will transfer to another degree, one that you will truly be happy in, and then go for it. We only go 'round this life once, and our happiness is what we make it. So find what makes you happy, and do that. Sorry to be so long winded, but you just seem like you are at a crossroads. Hope that this helps. At the very least, take the time to really examine if being a lawyer is what you truly want to do, for the REST of your LIFE! If not, then now is the time to change your mind.  

I so agree with above comments. if you dont like what you are doing, give it up or if to much invested in it, change to maybe something bit different. Never worry about a clean house. I never ever have mine tidy, no matter how hard I TRY. I was up at 3 this morning scrubbing floors, for what, they need be done again. If its really bugging you about it not being tidy, try put on music and work away at it, pretend a important vistor coming (I think of my sister visiting) or you are doing someone else's house. Put on a face mask. Recycle and think of how much it will give to a charity. A clean house can help, I know. And as you do it think of what you really love to do, ctlss is so true. I was down all last week and the support here was great. You stay strong and tell us how you get on. Dont keep it shut in. If you want it more private, send private messages. Just copy and paste a few to people you trust. All here with you  

Chris I agree with all of these comments. As far as school goes if it is not what you really want to do and your heart is not in it anymore make the switch now while you are young. Do not look at it as wasted time or effort. Look at all the knowledge you've gained that you may need to call upon sometime in your life. Think about how what is really important for the long haul. I know how you feel but I am sure you will regret it if you don't do what your heart tells you now. As far as the clean house I know exactly how you feel. It seems like we all have too many responsibilities in our lives. I think about my mom and her oh so perfect house and then I think yea but she never worked outside the home. She never had to worry about money or making ends meet or raising children on her own. Yes her house was clean but life is so much more than that. I get down about this all the time and no sooner it gets down it needs to get done again. It is frustrating to say the least. I just keep plugging at it daily and if I get to frustrated I call in sick for 2 days and do a makeover. lol Hope this helps! 

Thank you all for your comments!!! The only thing that I think law school might be good for is having as a credential if I were to start my own business, instead of practice law when I was done. Like maybe all the tax and corporate classes could be helpful for THAT. As far as what I REALLY want to do... something that saves/helps animals! That would make me happy. :) 

And Stef... b/c of my mortgage, I have to stay at something that pays at least what I make now. Luckily I'm debt free aside from that, and I'm certainly glad I didn't get suckered into buying a place that would have stretched me to the limit. Thank GOD for that!!! 

The mortgage and car payments are the biggest reason my sis can't quit her job and start teaching. I feel so heart sick for her sometimes, as she just seems so stressed and sad. Glad that you aren't in that kind of bind. Maybe you could volunteer at an animal shelter once a week or something, just to bring some extra joy to your life. I am an animal lover also, and my house is full of them...4 dogs of ours, 2 of my sons and his wifes, and 6 cats...lol It is a regular zoo around here at feeding time!!  

Chris - You should come to the SPCA with us! I've been taking the girls every other weekend, and I REALLY want to come home with a dog for Sophie this Sunday. I know Evan would throw a HUGE fit.... but I really want a dog, and so do the girls. Hes just worried that since we both work, no one would be around to take the dog out, etc. Oh well, I, and you, will figure something out. Don't stress it to much. 

Sarah I would so do that!!! Of course I'd probably end up bringing home another dog and Salem would NOT be happy with me lol. Our townhouse rules are "2 dogs per household". And my dog Lily terrorizes cats like they are prey.  

Stef I somehow someday hope to have a yard/property large enough to have a pack like Cesar Milan!!! That's awesome that you have so many! :) 

We are so blessed to live in the country and have 3 acres for them to run on. Our 4 are big boys, and my son's 2 are chihuahua's. Lol And the big dogs like to run after the cats, but they hold their own!!  

Another way to approach perspective. We look at what seems like an insurmountable obstacle and feel despair because we can't see a way to get across it. Yet we forget that sometimes we can simply go around it instead, and sometimes, there may even be a door. Either that, or we might be able to stay right where we are and be all the happier for it. You have to live for the NOW ,stress has ways to build and explode at all the wrong times.You have feel content with yourself this has to be for you ,is this what you want. If we focus on the problems we have, we'll probably get stuck there. Instead, we might want to focus on how to get where we want to go.Or if we really want to be there.You sound like a wonderful person. I know I feel better for it from just our short acquaintance 

Chris... You've come so far with law school.. and there is SOOO much you can do with a law degree!!! so my thought is STICK it out!!!!!... IUt'll make you very marketable!!!! I didn't want to get my Master's degree in Social Work... But since I was accepted in the Advanced Standing program... and could have my degree in 10 months.. It was worth it!!! I have no regrets!!! and I know you won't either!!!! going to school is hard work especially when you have a full time job!! but i KNOW You'll get it done!!!!  

Hey, first of all (!) don't put down your worries but comparing yourself with someone who is starving. I mean, yes, we should all practice being more grateful for what we have. But if you feel down, you feel down. Period. Secondly, most of us feel like we're just mediocre at a lot of things. This is part of living when there are so many expectations and we're all so busy. But--also--you are in a TEMPORARY situation. As my mom always says, you can do anything for (fill in the blank amount of time). You'll be done with school. You don't have to be a lawyer. But as others said, the degree will help you do whatever you DO want to do. As the saying goes, it's better to regret something you HAVE done than something you HAVEN'T done. (Thinking you'd kick yourself later for not finishing.) Have you ever checked out Fly Lady? It's hard to follow 100% but there are good ideas for getting stuff done in the house.  

(I am home all day but I SUCK at the housework part of the bargain and it brings a lot of stress to my mind and my marriage. The Fly LAdy stuff is the only thing that's helped me get organized and see how to attack things in baby steps.) Oh and not to say it's ok to feel mediocre, but it's a sign to stop and figure out what you're priorities in life are. We live in a one bedroom apt, which most people would think is crazy with a child. But we don't have a big mortgage payment. We have one car and we don't have a car payment. Do I want to be able to sit outside in a YARD and look at my GARDEN and get some sunshine? Yes. But right now it's not possible so I have to go to the park instead. Figure out how to make things work given where you are now. Easier said than done, I know.