caged liberty's Journal, 21 August 2008

Still suffering jetlag...even though we only drove to Canada! Every evening, we went to bed at around 4-5am and then had to get up at 11am to prepare for the next days activities. Now all I want to do is ..SLEEP, SLEEP, SLEEP!

To answer a few questions from previous journals:

Q: What about the food, its supposed to the highlight of Asian functions? (submitted by 08-well something along those lines anyway!)

A: The food was really good, but I wasnt feeling well during the trip so I avoided a lot of the greasy but tasty foods. I was fine as long as I didnt eat. Lots of pre appetizers, appetizers, main courses, after main courses, dessert, Cake..twice (once on girls function and once on boys function!), ice cream, traditional south Asian sweets, White choc and dark choc fountains, fruits..and on and on!!!

I actually ran a fever and was vomiting on the final event so I totally missed everything that day and I heard that the best food was that day!!

Q:Has your relationship with your mother always been strained?
A: Good question because it is something I have been thinking about recently myself. I have never felt so apprehensive about having her around in my 17 years of marriage.

So I have come up with a number of factors that may have affected me.

1-My father in laws absence. My FIL was the most wonderful dad in the world but he really kept his wife on her toes. She was constantly at his beck and call and personally I think she didnt mind because she felt needed. He passed away about four years ago and I have noticed a drastic change in her personality. I think she doesnt know what to do because there is no longer anyone relying on her. Her children all have spouses and her grandkids are independent, so noone really needs her (though we all want her around..just not so in our faces). She has always had her little irritating habits but I have never had such strong feelings until now.

2-Age. Maybe shes getting older and I am also getting older. For her, I also noticed my mom is a lot more irritable and moody as she gets older so perhaps its the same for my MIL. For me, as I get more and more older I am becoming more established or fixed in my ways and I want things my way. I am no longer the green eared bride who didnt want to rock the boat and allowed the MIL to do whatever she felt like. Now I want to run my own home. She has had her turn running a house, so I want her to let me run mine. (This is a problem because I was brought up to respect elders even if that means letting them have their way so as not to offend them.)

But thanks to all the support and encouragement of my FS buddies, and the complaints by my kids of their gran going through their closets, I talked to my hubby again about telling her not to go through things unless asked to. I dont know if it will work but I feel better for having voiced my opinion.

She is back on Saturday and I am currently looking for flower arranging classes or similar craft activities she can do. I have also thought have having a monthly senior Asians drop in day, so all the oldie goldies in the neighborhood can hang out with each other. MIL will just have to realize that she is as old as them...not the 21 year old she thinks she is!!

Oh yeah..dieting..HA HA!! Thats been on the back burner for so long!! I am looking for a diet that allows me cereal and milk because I am totally fed up of eating only eggs every morning, so I need to do some research...probably going to head towards South Beach as it seems to be low carb but with more variety than Atkins. Atkins is the best for weight loss but I feel that maintenance on another diet will allow me to not feel so deprived!!

Finally have a lot to say and its constructive I hope. Take care

   Support   

Comments 
You have really given the MIL situation a lot of thought - and it seems to have taken some of the edge off your emotions. Then again, she hasn't been around lately :) I think it's wonderful that you are trying to see things from her point of view. I'm sure that will help a lot in finding ways to peacefully coexist. Kudos for trying to get the husband more involved in some solutions! 
21 Aug 08 by member: amryk
It's good to hear that you are making progress in dealing with your MIL. It seems you are not so stressed discussing her. I know she is not there at the moment so that may be part of the reason for your relative sense of calm! But I think you are getting a handle on things. It will take a while for you all to figure out where you fit in. Your whole household dynamic has changed - and very abruptly at that. I have every confidence that, if you keep an open mind, you will be able to come to an understanding with her. It will just take time, patience and several bottles of wine! Hehehe. Good luck figuring out what eating plan you want to switch to. Lots of people say that the Weight Watchers Core Plan is similar to SB or Atkins but I believe it allows for more carbs. Enjoy your MIL-free days :) 
21 Aug 08 by member: evelyn64
Yes, agreed with the above!! You are sounding much better in spirits, especially in MIL department! ;) I'm sure it isn't easy, but I think you'll get it figured out. Keep up the hard work! 
21 Aug 08 by member: bullytrouble
You can have cereal and milk on Atkins Maintenance, as long as you can handle that many carbs. SBD isn't that different.... You sound like you've worked out a lot in your head, I'm sure you will work it all out in life too when the MIL comes back. Maybe she needs a chore list or an activity schedule.  
21 Aug 08 by member: sararay
sararay and caged...sb is not low carb...it is about good carbs vs. bad carbs...not low carbs...caged if you make the move to sb...you can have cereal...just make sure that it is good carbs...no bad ones...i have some that are very doable...i like mine dry without milk and will use it as a snack during the day 
21 Aug 08 by member: veggies yuk
email me if you want more info... 
21 Aug 08 by member: veggies yuk
I love SB because it gave me for my taste more options than Atkins. Also my doctor recommended it to me because of my heart health. I cant stand eggs more than for one day and I had so many other options. I love veggies and South Beach loves to see us eat as many of them as we can...just the lower glycemic veggies! I think South Beach is based MORE around the glycemic index than it is carbs! I can send you a ton of links with recipes and food ideas. You'll be amazed what you can have on SB and still lose weight. And yes, it's kindof a misconception Im seeing a lot lately, people thinking SB is low carb. I have cookbooks that are low carb cookbooks, but I cant have the stuff in them! South Beach is about the good carbs. You can have whole wheat bread, whole wheat pasta, you really dont miss anything there. I learned how much I LOVE the flavor or brown rice now, I used to only eat white rice, didn't know what I was missing. Anyway, Id be MORE than happy to send you so many recipe links you wont have time to prepare everything you want to try!  
21 Aug 08 by member: ImLuuvd
I noticed that you only have 5 more pounds to reach your goal! That's great! If you're thinking about changing plans, just make sure you read up on it first and get all the information that you can. You can always try it and then if it doesn't work for you, go back to what does! It doesn't hurt to change things up once in a while :) Best wishes on continued progress with MIL :) 
21 Aug 08 by member: mbhpro
I wont chose cageds journal to debate, but I will say it depends on what foods YOU feel you can live the rest of your life eating. I do know that I did not like counting my veggies when I tried Atkins a few years back. I did lose some weight temporarily on Atkins, but I felt nauseated and restricted too much. I enjoy too many veggies without having to count everything. I like not having to do math before I eat. caged, you'll do fine whichever plan you chose, just think of which foods you prefer and can stick to. Best wishes girl and go get 'em!  
21 Aug 08 by member: ImLuuvd
both the gi index and glucose charts are accurate enough that millions of people follow them to monitor blood and urine sugars...too many urologist recommend sb for just that reason...however if cl does not have an issue with sugars and she just misses cereal...than sb is the way to go...cl...i will support you no matter what plan you follow...as it really does not matter to me as long as you are as healthy as you can be...enjoy and good luck 
21 Aug 08 by member: veggies yuk
I agree with both of you ImLuuvd and veggies. :) 
21 Aug 08 by member: sararay
whatever diet you choose it seems you are already almost to your goal so you might want to consider what you can maintain AND use to lose weight when you need to. As for the South Beach Diet I can only tell you the miracle it has made in our lives. My hubby has been diabetic type 2 for over 15 years. His doctor and mine (we have different doctorrs) approved the South beach diet but even they were amazed at what they saw happening with us. Within the first 3 weeks my bloodwork was good enough to get off/avoid cholesterol meds. 6 mnths after South Beach I was taken off my blood pressure meds. I am now healthier and in better shape than i ever was. I went from a size 16 to a current size 10 (almost in an 8). Hubby was on South beach just a month when he got all his meds cut 1/3, for cholesterol, blood pressure, and diabetes. severlk months after being on South beach all his meds have been cut agin..in half this time but with another HUGE EXCEPTION he is off all diabetic meds. At first his doctor had him listed on his medical charts as "diabetic controlled by diet".. but on hubbys latest visit to his doctor, he has now been ***trumpets please*** taken off the diabetic list entirely!! he is now NOT a diabetic. I've had people argue with me that it is impossible.. but it's NOT impossible because I have proof of it sleeping beside me every night! His doc will continue to monitor him because it runs in all his family and he has HAD it.. but he is now NON Diabetic.. he takes no meds for it and he doesn't have to monitor his blood.. You can see why this makes me a huge advocate for the South Beach Diet. It's a healthy way to eat! and we feel comfortable going to restaurants and we can eat this way for the rest of our lives. Hubby loves the food!! We are "older" folks but we are healthy and active now! Im sold on it. My doc was amazed at the differences in my own bloodwork.  
21 Aug 08 by member: Janelleas
Janellas makes a good point. I bet your husband would be more accepting of SBD for his cholesterol too, CL. It might be a good approach to getting him on the bandwagon. :)  
21 Aug 08 by member: sararay
Caged, I hope things go well when MIL gets back home. I understand your having a hard time kind of standing up to her because of being raised to respect your elders, but in the same token, she should be respecting your home and YOU!! If the issues continue, you will need to find some way to have a conversation with her and express your desires while trying to find out from her what she NEEDS and how she feels. I think you probably really hit on something when you said she may not feel as needed anymore with her hubby gone. She's probably just trying to get that feeling back. Maybe your idea of getting a group together would be really good for her. Thinking of you and hoping all goes well!!  
22 Aug 08 by member: katrinat

     
 

Submit a Comment


You must  sign in to submit a comment
 

Other Related Links

Members



caged liberty's weight history


Get the app
    
© 2024 FatSecret. All rights reserved.