caged liberty's Journal, 13 August 2008

Greetings strangers!

Yep, I am back..though I cant say with a vengeance. I have had a gremlin in my home turning my peaceful abode into total chaos. She has gone through and reorganized every single nook and cranny in my house so I am forever trying to find things now. She has reorganized my furniture, my cabinets, my dresser drawers, all the wardrobes, anything she can get her hands on.

She even had the audacity to go through the boxes I had left in the basement because they were clothes that had no place for hanging and were for special occasions only. AAAGHH!! LEAVE MY DAMN STUFF ALONE!

And she has a habit of constantly trying to initiate conversations when I am watching a show. I only watch about one show a day and her constant nattering is driving me nuts. I have resorted to watching tv in my bedroom but now she is claiming I am trying to avoid her..(err...actually I am..but I guess it looks too obvious!!)

Well, I have reprieve for a few days because she has gone to her cousins house to prepare for a wedding. I will also be going to Canada to attend the wedding and then the bliss bubble will burst as she will return with us.

Its only been a week and now I am thinking...how on earth will I survive a lifetime of this??? I really need to get out of the house. I have devised a plan to try and balance me time and she time. She always insists on hopping into the car with me whenever I even take a step towards the garage, so I will take her out first and then she cant have an excuse about not having gone out.Then I can do whatever I want on my own. I am also going to look into some classes. I just have to find something she is not interested in because whenever I have hinted at joining some activity she goes.."oh thats a great idea..we can do it TOGETHER!!"

I wish I had some boring and mundane as I went out and didnt eat McDonalds but this disturber of my harmony is more tedious than the British were to Thomas Jefferson!!!!

I did try to talk to hubby and like grambear sensed, he absolutely refused to hear a word against his 'poor helpful caring mother!'

Well tomorrow I set sail towards plainer lands, aka Canada so hopefully this wedding event will help alleviate my stress a little. Thinking happy thought...thinking happy thoughts!!

(p.s. I really miss all you guys, but I figure that every day my journal would consist of the same issue and I dont want to become an emotional parasite. Therefore, I have limited my journals until I can get a balance in my life and hopefully have more news to report-other than the doings of the gremlin!)

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Comments 
You must never think that you would ever be a parasite of ANY kind Libs... you are missed here. My heart goes out to you at this time as this new gremlinlike dynamic settles into your world...I truely hope that this whirlwind will blow itself out soon and settle in time to something more harmonious (I wish that hubby could be more supportive but maybe that can be worked on in the fullness of time). Please know that you are being prayed for and wished well from across the miles... 
13 Aug 08 by member: dave22
LOL at dubbing the MIL "gremlin". Sorry, I know you aren't in a laughing mood. Don't worry that we won't want to hear your journals. We miss ya' and like to hear from you, no matter what you've got on your mind. Plus, journalling is great therapy! As tough as all you are going through is on you right now, I envision that once "the gremlin" has been there a while and settled in that things will calm down somewhat. Try to stay positive. Since there is no alternative, you may as well make the best of it. It will be a bit of a struggle at first, to be sure. But you will each find your way. *HUGS* 
13 Aug 08 by member: evelyn64
Evelyn is soooo right! If it wasn't for journaling and recieving the support from my FS friends in the last few months, I don't know how I would have gotten through my tough times. We are here for you!! Even if just to listen... As for the MIL situation, I'm sorry to hear it is going roughly right now. I hope that as she gets settled and you both get used to the other, things will calm a little at least. I don't know exactly what advice to give you not knowing her, but I guess the best thing is to copy what Evelyn said... Stay positive and make the best of it. I have had my SIL live with me many times over the last 17 years and, although she has always meant well, she does tend to get on my nerves, and I tended to spend a lot of time in my room as well. Maybe you can find a hobby that is something you NEED to do alone, away from kids, to be your excuse for your 'me' time.... Don't give up on YOU!!  
13 Aug 08 by member: katrinat
It's not your job to protect us from the details of your life- it's our job to support you -on good weeks and bad...so quit it-we need you and want you back -grumpy and all!! What's the point of a support system if you don't get the support when you need it!!! Have fun at the wedding. Oh yeah- take up jogging- prtend or real- and leave her with little bear to get a break- if you say walking she will want to tag along .  
13 Aug 08 by member: sharonfriz
thanks guys..Evelyn, I maybe be grumpy but I am always ready for a luagh..and I need a laugh even more than ever! Sharon..love the idea of jogging...might even say I am doing weightlifting..and have to 'go to a gym' (aka..run away for a while!!). see ya all next week!! 
13 Aug 08 by member: caged liberty
I highly recommend a gym membership!! What NICE "me" time that was, when I had it a few years ago. It's not in our budget just yet, but maybe sometime soon. Put some headphones on and work out the tension and tone up!! :) You've got her there now... getting out and releasing stress is your best bet! Keep on kickin' it up! 
13 Aug 08 by member: bullytrouble
That stinks that your hubby isn't open to hearing anything about his mother, makes it not so easy to cope with. Hang in there. How old is his mom? I'm with Sharon....jogging...or some other physically exerting type activity that might not be something she can do (hehe). Have you guys always had a strained relationship? If so, maybe she's trying to find common ground? Dunno. Good luck...and have fun at the wedding! =)  
13 Aug 08 by member: Cheeks
have a great time at the wedding...you might have to face her yourself...as far as the cabinets and stuff goes...tell her this is where i want it and please leave it there...sorry the hubby wont help...and please do not stay away 
13 Aug 08 by member: veggies yuk
Don't avoid us because of this. You need us now and we'll be here for you. That is what journals and buddies are for!! I vote for the gym membership idea. I cannot imagine your situation. I get along with my MIL but if I had to live with her she would drive me nuts. I don't think you should let her get away with anything. If she says you ignore her, tell her that you just need some time alone and that it is not a reflection on her. Set boundaries, stick to them. She is taking over your life and if you don't stand up for yourself something is going to give. As well as setting time for you, find something you do enjoy doing together. Maybe ONE class together wouldn't be so bad. I still think a lot of her behavior comes from insecurity, but I don't know her so I can't be sure. Maybe she just needs reassurance.  
13 Aug 08 by member: sararay
I still think you need to put things in your drawers that she would be embarassed to find---something LARGE and black. ask her if she need 'depends' when youre at the check out-maybe she won't be so apt to jump at the car!! 
14 Aug 08 by member: gearhead
I would like to copy everyting that Dave said!! AND add a little originality of my own; you could join any group or exercise class you want AND TELL HER that you're going to take an Algebra course! She'll never know, and you'll get a break from her! Yuck! I wish you much patience and creativity and luck! and don't stay away!!! I wanna hear all about this MIL!! 
15 Aug 08 by member: BadAndee

     
 

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