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Good Morning!
I did what I do every morning and that is to jump on my scale.
I don't know what I am going to do if this scale don't move in the right direction soon! The scale read 188.6! I am just sick of it! Yesterday when I got home I swear the scale read 191.something!
I thought I was going to faint!
Anyway, I guess, I'll be OK considering that I can still wear a size 12.
I'm just ready for some major changes, not only in my weight but in my life. I am so bored with everyday living. My life is so routine and I need some excitement and a change of pace.
I am craving Real Estate and/or Probation Parole.... I don't know why but here lately I have been feeling a little depressed and this is just not like me to feel this way....well maybe I have felt this way but just ignored the feelings. I have started to question my self worth and I know this is not good. I am also starting to feel trapped and OLD! (DON'T ASK!)
I bought a big beautiful brick home about a year ago. I was so happy that i was finally able to do that for my daughter but I was also sad that I had to do it alone....I know this sounds crazy, but every since I've become a homeowner, it's like confirmation that I am going to be single forever! Sometimes, I am OK with being single and other times I am in a panic. I am 34 years old and will be 35 on Christmas, so I am pass the average age of getting married. I don't know, what do you guys think about this.
I woke up this morning feeling a little low. I hope by the end of the day I will be able to be at peace with myself.
Good LUCK GUYS ON YOUR WEIGHT LOSS FOR THIS WEEK. I weigh in on tomorrow but I feel as though I have wasted a whole week. I know how to do induction and I know that I blew it this week. I will do better next week.
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 Comments
Cheer up hun... You are NOT too old for anything. Your sweet, caring, smart, and personally... I think you are beautiful!!! I think stress can hinder weight loss b/c I have a lot of it, so I know. Life isn't always easy but I think you are way too hard on yourself. You bought a house all by yourself ... with NO help! Now, that's something to brag about girl. If it wasn't for my Dad being a contractor, I doubt I would be living in my house right now and I had a husband to help! We even needed help. Just b/c you bought a house doesn't mean that you ruined your chances for true love either... it will come .. when you least expect it too and he will be perfect b/c you will KNOW when it happens. If you are bored with your career ... then you just spread your wings and fly girl! You are a brilliant person and I am so blessed to have gotten to know you! I'm sure others, whether it be on this site or family, friends, or people you come in contact with, are blessed to know you as well. I think they call this a rut and you have slipped into it. You will be fine though. Don't be so hard on yourself. I bet your daughter thinks you are the most courageous creature that ever stepped foot on this planet so be proud of what you've accomplished b/c I think you are wonderful!;)
05 Oct 07 by member: lorik
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Don't worry yourself as much. Size 12??? I would LOVE for my size 12 to fit and not be stressing the buttons! I'm sure, no wait, I KNOW those size 12s look amazing on you! Did you ever get your BMI? How much is it now and what is it suppose to be? Make sure you do that if you have not. It sucks to be alone, but it sucks to be with someone and feel alone too. Your better off waiting until you have someone you really love no matter how old you are. You are so beautiful and have such a great looking body. Never forget that we ALWYAS look WAY worse to ourself then we do in real life. Your doing an amazing job with your little girl and it sounds like you are making a great life for the 2 of you. Just take it slow and keep your head up. Your a great person and you have become my inspiration over the past month.
Love you
Nicole
05 Oct 07 by member: baahh10
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Thanks Lori, I really needed that.
A rut....that word fits the way I feel perfectly. I haven't felt this bad in a long time. Monday, I had to turn down a job that was less than 5min away from home because I was too afraid to accept it. They up the salary twice and offered me a higher position and I could not accept it because the company was new to our town and I felt that if the company wasn't successful then I would have to deal with finding employment and possible missed mortgage payments all on my own. I wanted that job so bad that I could taste it. I currently drive about 45min one way to work, but it's a relaxing job, the benefits are great and the salary is more than I've ever made in my life. The only problem is the distance. So, I guess this is why I am in a rut today. Thanks for your support though because sometimes all we want is to vent and someone hear us.
I did purchase my home all by myself and it was hard.The banks are hard on single parents. I think that banks feel that we are a risk when approving loans for for single families.
Anyway,I have to believe that the job was not meant for me and that something better is going to come along that is closer to home.
Thanks Girl, you've got me remembering the struggle of trying to prove myself to these banks and also remembering my daughter's face when I handed her the keys to our very first home. Thanks so much for that! Sometimes, I forget just how blessed I am.
I am blessed to have you guys as friends also!
05 Oct 07 by member: Mandie160
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Thanks Nicole,
I am so glad I have you guys because today could have very easily turned into a EAT TO YOU FEEL BETTER day. Talking to you guys has really brought me back to reality.
What is this about you not being able to wear a size 12? You are smaller than I am! Are you shopping in the Juniors or Misses. I wear Misses. They were tight when I was first able to wear the 12s but now they just slide on with no problems. In the Juniors, I think I wear a size 13 or 15, I'm not too sure on that.
How do I get my BMI and what does it stands for....I know Body Mass Index....well I think that's what the abbreviations stands for but can you explain to me why I need to know this. I hope I don't sound stupid, but I seriously don't know this stuff. Help old girl out!
05 Oct 07 by member: Mandie160
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Alright so can't fit into a 12 very easily because I have a huge booty and hips. They are fitting a lot better now, but my American Eagle jeans are a little tight still. Anyway, here is a good BMI web site that tells you a lot about it.
http://www.halls.md/body-mass-index/bmi.htm
let me know what yours is. Mine is 25.5. You WANT to be around 25, and most women want to be 22-23. Anyway, let me know yours.
05 Oct 07 by member: baahh10
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Girl! Booty and Hips, and you weigh 173? I bet you have an hourglass figure. I would love to have curves....especially the booty and hips. I'm jealous just thinking about how shapely you must be!
OK, I am going to check that web address out, I swear here is one more thing for me to obsess about. I will get back to you in a few....
05 Oct 07 by member: Mandie160
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I couldn't calculate my BMI at '5 91/2" so I did it at '5 9" and it was 27.9- I did it at '5 10" and it ws at 27.1 and it also stated that I was overweight at 188.6(my weight this morning)....So what does this mean for me and my body? How do I use this in my everyday life and why does it matter?
Interesting site, I just don't know what to do with the information or ow to manage BMI.
05 Oct 07 by member: Mandie160
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I'm 188 and I surely couldn't fit in a 12, what's up with that!! I must have too much BMI huh. But I'm working on it. Don't you get down on yourself mandie, remember, I'm on your tail to get ahead of your weight loss girl, so pick yourself up and get back on track. It's not about the diet, but how well you run the race. So you trip, get up, and up and up as long as it takes. I'm 48, been there done that, and guess what, you still go through the same things at 48 as you are going through now. Your just older. Fear is a hard thing to conquer, the job I got now, I didn't really want because it was a all male enviroment, actually my ex-husband pushed me to do it. I'd been at my other job making $8.50hr, for 16 years, yeah that's right 16 years because of fear. I tried the other job (loading and unloading semi's and a union job at that) and I loved it, I've been there 13 years now and I make 22.50hr. If I'd had my way, I wouldn't of went there because of fear. Don't be afraid to experience life, but do use wisdom in you choices because you have a daughter counting on you, I have no kids. Just remember, sometimes a comfort zone feels so good, but it can also be a crutch..............
06 Oct 07 by member: choth
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Hey Mandie, I hope your spirits have brighten up since then. Good for you getting a house. I took the plunge two years ago as well and purchased my house on my own. I was like, why wait on a prince charming or something, I can do it and it will be an investment anyway. Two years later my prince charming came. Unfortunately I sold my house last month and have moved to a new city. But now, I have made a little profit from the house and can start saving for downpayment on a bigger house together with my husband one day. Girl don't stress or be down on yourself. You're lucky I am straight, you are hot! Size 12 with your height, dam.. you look good. Relax and enjoy life.
06 Oct 07 by member: Selina
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It's sad to hear that you are feeling so down. You have probably been here before and know that it will pass. It will pass!
I have been in your place before. I understand the sadness of achieving/getting/reaching something as great as buying that home--alone. Or being on a vacation --- alone. There is joy but with that tinge of sadness. OK, so both exist side by side. I used to try to tell myself that many do not even have the joy part so I need to be grateful--fill my life (and my children's) with little joys--all while at the same time waiting for that relationship that I so wanted.
I eventually found prince charming. If you look at my bio you will see that we are very much in love. We will celebrate our 4th anniversary this Thanksgiving. Not the easiest transition for two, established, (truly 'older' people but soooo worth the effort.
You cannot know what is ahead for you. But assume that it is good. Act as if there is this awesome plan for you and your job is to live today to the fullest--just knowing that you are gaining something today (as a single mom) that you might need for the next phase of your life. Perhaps if you 'knew' what was ahead for you, you might agree that where you are is where your should be. But alas, we cannot know (the good news and the bad news.)
06 Oct 07 by member: Motivated
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