adefwebserver's Journal, 19 June 2019

Day 3 of a planned 5 days of ‘no solid food’ fasting

Day 13 of 14 days of the "Challenge" with @SharonsVictory: No 'Binging' (more than 100 carbs) for two weeks

Yesterday I drank my protein shakes like usual and walked at lunch and when I got home from work.

Mentally this is all I am willing to do. I can look back on my data and see that I need to cut the protein and the carbs to get the scale moving… But, I just don’t feel like doing that.

Yeah, my problem is I am just-not-motivated.

My theory on ‘motivation’ is that ‘motivation’ is always based on some fear. The ‘kicker’ is that fear does not have to be ‘logical’ or ‘true’.

The core of ‘binging’ is a fear of not’ getting enough’ or ‘missing out’ on the ‘current opportunity to feel full’.

I was motivated to lose weight because I was afraid of being fat all my life. When I found fasting and started to actually lose weight, my greatest motivator was the fear of letting this opportunity pass me by.

So, what is my motivating fear now?

Yeah, I am really having a hard time finding one…

I keep going to the gym because every time I ‘carb up’ I fear I am wasting the valuable glycogen and allowing the glucose coming in behind it to be converted to fat rather than refilling the glycogen if I consume it by weight lifting.

Anyway, this weekend I-will-be-eating 😜👍🏾 I am going to have a Big Mac. Don’t know when, but, I will fit it in somehow. I haven’t had a hamburger or even bread in weeks! Haha!

😎 Life is Good! Have a great day everyone!
172.0 lb Lost so far: 35.0 lb.    Still to go: 8.0 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.

Diet Calendar Entries for 19 June 2019:
1310 kcal Fat: 93.50g | Prot: 74.00g | Carb: 29.50g.   Breakfast: Land O'Lakes Heavy Whipping Cream, Quest Vanilla Milkshake Protein Powder, Land O'Lakes Heavy Whipping Cream. Dinner: Slim-Fast Keto Shake, Quest Vanilla Milkshake Protein Powder, Land O'Lakes Heavy Whipping Cream. Snacks/Other: Marukome Miso Soup Freeze Dried Tofu, Land O'Lakes Heavy Whipping Cream, Swiss Miss Milk Chocolate Hot Cocoa K-Cup, Slim-Fast Keto Shake, Quest Vanilla Milkshake Protein Powder, Land O'Lakes Heavy Whipping Cream. more...
2183 kcal Activities & Exercise: Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 1 hour and 30 minutes, Resting - 14 hours and 30 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
steady weight

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Comments 
Fear is a motivator but rewards can be as well. Like hamburger... or clothing or something.  
19 Jun 19 by member: liv001
Sometimes motivation is like the chorus of your song; you just have to wait for it to come around again. 
19 Jun 19 by member: erikahollister
@liv001 - Yes, a real 'motivator' now is that if I don't fast durring the week I would lose 'eating on the weekends' as a 'treat' - - @erikahollister - Yes I agree :) I also know that gaining 10lbs will also suddenly have that chrous come around again and 'motivate me' Haha! 
19 Jun 19 by member: adefwebserver
I hope McD's satisfies that burger craving for you. I've given into going off plan for a burger three times and not been satisfied. Once at Chili's and twice at Applebee's. I decided last time was the third strike. Just not for me anymore.  
19 Jun 19 by member: FullaBella
@FullaBella - My 'feeling' is that the MC Donald's Big Mac will only be as satisfying as my level of expectation. If I feel that it is going to be anything other than bread meat and sauces I will definately be disspointed 😜 It will not solve any problems or cause me to accept any situation. I need to get ALL that out of the way BEFORE I take the first bite Haha Ok... now that I said all that I am not sure why I need to eat the darn thing at all... because, trust me, "solving problems and brining happiness" was what I was thinking 😉 
19 Jun 19 by member: adefwebserver
Perhaps the motivator can be the potential of what is possible - health, fitness, peace...just a thought.  
19 Jun 19 by member: tahoebrun
Nodding the whole time reading your response. I recognize that your 'solid' food meals are to satisfy a different agenda than my 'eating off plan' meals. But you wrote yourself 'no sure why..' so when that same question comes up for me I make myself look at it. An example would be pizza. Sure, I can decide it's my off plan meal for the day. But if it's as unsatisfying as the burgers were, why? So I'm holding out for a really deep dish thick cheesy pizza. Until I find one, I'm not going to do it. I don't need to break my plan that badly. BUT AGAIN... I don't go days without solid food like you so I have a different agenda. I will tell you that the Chili's 'Boss' burger is pretty interesting. I recall the let down being the bun & fries. They just didn't 'do it' for me.  
19 Jun 19 by member: FullaBella
@tahoebrun - I was actually meditating this morning that my 'greatest fear' *should be*: 'Not living in the love and protection of my higher power'. However, I can only have that 'higher level of fear' if I actually thought it was something that I had to lose. Same thing with other 'quality issues' like Health, fitness, and peace. So what I consider a 'fear' or a 'problem' is directly related to 'how I am living' and my 'spiritual welbeing'. I have work to do... This lack of motivation may be because I am 'moving away from the base level fears'. I mean I hope so! Perhaps I am going the other direction... 
19 Jun 19 by member: adefwebserver
Fear as a motivator creates doubt and doubt will destroy motivation. It may last short term but isn't sustainable. But I get it. Sometimes we need whatever tools it takes to get us through 'today' so that we can find room for something better tomorrow. 
19 Jun 19 by member: FullaBella
This post really helped me just now. Thank you 
19 Jun 19 by member: AdaOke
I personally try to live motivated by love rather than fear, but whatever works for you! 
19 Jun 19 by member: frequency7
I am like you now, I have lost my motivation 😐 
19 Jun 19 by member: Keilin_4
Try eating the Big Mac with only the Lettuce, almost as filling w/the bread. Or only half the Bun. 
19 Jun 19 by member: srossca
@srossca - But it taste sooo different 😜 
19 Jun 19 by member: adefwebserver
@frequency7 - When I am 'motivated by Love' it is, for me, still the 'fear of being an unloving person'. Being "Loving" is one of the things my 'Ego' (the picture of myself that I have built up in my head) has 'defined me'. The fear of not 'living up to who I think I am/want to be' is a HUGE FEAR and therefore a huge 'motivator'. I spent a lot of time meditation on 'fear'. I would like to 'move past it'. However, it seems that, for me, 'fear' is an 'instinct', it is neither right now wrong, and it always 'exists'(however, it also must be said that it has no logic, is frequently based on lies, ect). However, when it kicks in, I am ALWAYS 'motivated' by it. I can't seem to turn it off. - - However, my 'motivations' are not my 'actions', so there is that... 😉  
19 Jun 19 by member: adefwebserver
@Keilin_4 - Well, as @erikahollister said it will 'come around' again :) 
19 Jun 19 by member: adefwebserver
oh dang Adef I haven't been on here and just saw you're still doing the challenge...YOU ROCK!!!!! motivating me to get back with it... 
19 Jun 19 by member: Sharons Victory
@chrisw77 - I wrote the sentence 'weirdly'. I meant to imply that by consuming the glycogen through weight lifting, the incoming dietary carbs would hopefully go to replenishing the glycogen stores NOT be directly turned to fat. 
19 Jun 19 by member: adefwebserver
Adef - I once asked friend how she had managed to lose a lot of weight. She answered, "Remembrance", and left it at that. I think she was talking about the higher goals, higher motivations. You said, "I was actually meditating this morning that my 'greatest fear' *should be*: 'Not living in the love and protection of my higher power'. However, I can only have that 'higher level of fear' if I actually thought it was something that I had to lose. Same thing with other 'quality issues' like Health, fitness, and peace. So what I consider a 'fear' or a 'problem' is directly related to 'how I am living' and my 'spiritual welbeing'. I have work to do..." We all have work to do, and it is about 'Remembrance' ~~ attending to our higher selves. Listening to our better angels. 
19 Jun 19 by member: erikahollister
@Erikahollister - That makes sense. 
19 Jun 19 by member: adefwebserver

     
 

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