nikeit's Journal, 25 September 2018

Except for a few minor slip ups I have been behaving in the food department for over 2 1/2 months - I kept thinking today about why I was losing my energy to do the things I need to get done and it hit me that I am spending ALL my time dealing with food and losing weight

Thanks to being bipolar I am an all or nothing person so my entire focus was on this - since I can't work anymore I have all day to think about it - I was way too focused on it

Today I got my shit together and began tackling some of the things that I have been putting off - when I decided to take a break it was 6:07pm and that is after my eating window closes - by 7 minutes - I was so anal about it I decided I couldn't eat anything else despite the fact that I was hungry and hadn't eaten much today

That is so STUPID - life CANNOT be that cut and dried - I need to be a tiny bit flexible in this process or it will NOT work for me long term

So at 8pm I grabbed a huge bag of BBQ potato chips and ate as much as I wanted - it was fine to just give in for once - I didn't die or anything - of course, when I was done I weighed the stupid bag to see how much I had eaten (stupid new habits) - turns out it was only a little over 4 servings

I need to loosen up and stop dwelling on food and start getting back into what else I need to do - that does NOT mean giving up my IF window that is working but it means if I am busy with life's other things I may need to actually eat a little outside my window occasionally - it doesn't mean I am throwing out the baby with the bath water!

Sorry - but needed to get this down for myself - I feel like my head just cleared out - sometimes I just need to relax
on diet nikeit's own diet  

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Glad you didn't die! Good luck with balancing food in your life! 
25 Sep 18 by member: abbadabba
abbadabba - thanks! 
25 Sep 18 by member: nikeit
I'm afraid I don't approve of this... BBQ potato chips are gross! :D :D :D I'm glad you found a way to show to yourself that it IS ok to eat outside your window if the need or want should arise (but anything but BBQ flavour!!!)... and hopefully it fit in with your intake too (and if not, it's not the end of the world). :)  
25 Sep 18 by member: FioLog
I've always been an all or nothing person as well and I've struggled with my weight since I was a child. Sometimes I'd lose a great deal of weight (70-80 pounds), only to have it roaring right back again. It was then that I realised that I was doing it all wrong. For me, this is not a diet. This is something that I'll have to do for the rest of my life. I'm one of those people who will have to watch what I eat forever. I had to find a plan that I could live with for the long term. That ended up being losing weight very slowly (1-2 pounds a week) and eating healthier, while still allowing myself small treats and snacks. It's all about portion control really! It's about being realistic and not being extreme. At least that is what is working for me! 😁 
26 Sep 18 by member: MitziCat80
Its such a fine line for folks like us dear. I tend to go all out as well. It’s tricky trying to find that balance but you can do it! You’re well on the path. Good for you for going ahead and eating outside of your window. We have to learn to listen to our bodies....long term. Kudos for getting some things done too! Success success! SCORE! 
26 Sep 18 by member: ClarityAnn
I understand the do-all-or-nothing feeling. I just mainly portion control and that has helped me the most. The bbq potato chips sound wonderful! 
27 Sep 18 by member: MrsMagyk

     
 

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