Wow! I’m surprised how many of us on here would like to have more friends!
This is a friendly forum and I’m glad I have joined! I look forward to getting to know everyone!
10 Aug 18 by member: cannjensen
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Your right LRF (little red fox). You do have to make an effort to get involved with people and situations where their are shared interests.
10 Aug 18 by member: Kenna Morton
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I have the same problem mainly because I am from the East Coast and live in Minneapolis where people are very provincial...if you didn't grow up with them, they are kind of suspicious of you - and I have lived here over 30 years!
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Cannjensen— said very well.
10 Aug 18 by member: Kenna Morton
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There is an app called “Meetup” which lists many groups. There may be many choices in your area.
10 Aug 18 by member: Gail531
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I'm a farmer also but unlike you, I live alone. My husband passed away almost 20 years ago and my son is grown with a life of his own. I began by doing a lot of volunteer work locally. if you have school aged kids, try to get more involved. libraries are a good place to volunteer also. Then I began substituting in my town and a larger one so people got used to seeing me around. I also joined a fiber guild and a spinning club though I don't know how to spin. We meet once a month for each one, so I'm spending time with people who have similar interests. Adults don't seem to want to make new friends because that means they may need to focus on someone besides themselves and their families. I stay busy, on and off the farm, and though it's sometimes lonely, I have found peace and I'm happy but it took me several years to get here.
10 Aug 18 by member: ussalpacas
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It sounds like this community is linked in ways that we never expected. Maybe we can fill the void for each other. I live in SW Missouri. Where is everyone else living.
10 Aug 18 by member: ussalpacas
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I am in a suburb of Boston
10 Aug 18 by member: abbadabba
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I’m SoCal. I have traveled with a group that is comprised of single women. Lots of fun. You don’t have to share a room/cabin with anyone but if you are willing you don’t have to pay that “single person supplement”. Besides my gym, I go to school and I have so many older acquaintances/ friends who need a little nurse advocate help dealing with their medical issues so that does keep me busy. Oh and the other obstacle not mention here yet is money. everyone I know is dealing with different financial situations that make it hard for them to do a lot of things that they might like to do.
10 Aug 18 by member: Kenna Morton
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10 Aug 18 by member: Stellagray
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One thing that I think would be helpful for at least me here on FS is when people write their profiles to include sex, age, and where they are from— even just the state. It may be thought of as too personal, but I think it is helpful to have a small idea what restrictions others may be working with when we write suggestions or give responses. I might consider an after dinner walk to be no big deal, but in winter in New Hampshire or Boston, it might not work so well. Telling another person to go to the gym and buff out and they are 75 years old and a 2 hour drive from the nearest city let alone a gym. More than once I ahave laughed at some of my responses to someone who it turned out basically lived off grid in woods of NC.
11 Aug 18 by member: Kenna Morton
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I think it depends on your personality type and how approachable you may seem/ are, as well as your interests. If you can describe yourself honestly in 3 words what would they be?
However I also think that with social media a lot of people are just too into their online presence or they have social anxiety since they’re not used to making real friends they only know how to interact virtually which is very sad and frustrating. I agree with a previous mention here that some people are also too consume with their life to just add anyone else. My advice is: smile, start a simple conversation whether it be a compliment about shoes etc or a question about where they purchased x item or a simple “it’s really hot today right? Followed by a “are you used to this weather” and see where it goes from there. I made a friend by mentioning the weather turned out she had just moved here to be with her boyfriend and knew no one, I have a smart mouth so I said something funny gave her my number if she ever wanted to hang out and 3 years later we are now like long lost sisters and she’s always around me even though she’s made new friends at her job.
11 Aug 18 by member: NAYELISIZZLES
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Sometimes I just needed to stay part of an activity long enough for a new person to come along looking for a friend and there I was. Cause like some people mentioned, a lot of times in a group people already have friends. So I'd volunteer to do stuff since there wasn't much opportunity to join in without feeling uninvited. And then someone new would come in and I could be the person they are looking for and sometimes we are a match. Took time, but I was always doing something I liked. Like work related learning, or craft related or a cause I wanted to support. Met one neighbor friend while we were both out walking dog – met many neighbors walking dogs, but became friends with only one. Probably not as easy to meet neighbors taking a cow for a walk - the unique factor would work but the distances would be crazy:)
11 Aug 18 by member: VAM49
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Clearly you've hit a topic that resonates with many people. Moving is hard. Making new friends is the hardest part, especially as an adult without kids in the local schools. I moved 2 years ago. My job is very isolating too, but for different reasons. LA is a hard place to connect. My wife is trying to volunteer in local organizations. I'm waiting to find someone here I can really connect with. In the meantime, all I can do is reach out to old friends in Philly and play with the dogs. 😊
11 Aug 18 by member: Siegels
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We move for my husband's work all the time. I join the local Audubon society because I love birds and I've met a great gal walking at the park every day. It's a challenge, I know. But moving every few months as we do, I had to do something, I'm not a good loner. I can ge if I have to, but I prefer a running buddy. Don't give up. Oh and a word of caution, there are lots of crazy people out there, so be careful who you let into your circle. Hope you find something that works for you.
11 Aug 18 by member: kathydetweiler
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Can relate to that. No real close friends either anymore. I've moved many times and my life has had some major upheavals that have resulted in my old lives being left behind. I actually feel closer to many of my friends on here than anyone local.
11 Aug 18 by member: wholefoodnut
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Can relate to that. No real close friends either anymore. I've moved many times and my life has had some major upheavals that have resulted in my old lives being left behind. I actually feel closer to many of my friends on here than anyone local.
11 Aug 18 by member: wholefoodnut
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The other thing that is a slight obstacle is that some people’s idea of getting together always involves going out to eat. I don’t eat like many of my friends and they become uncomfortable when we go out. Much of the time there is very little on the menu that I am even willing to eat. It has created a bit of a rift.
11 Aug 18 by member: Kenna Morton
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We moved from up North 20 yrs ago to Florida. I was too young to retire then so I continued to work, telephone & Internet Tech, so 99% of my coworkers were men. My husband would NOT have appreciated me hanging out with the guys after work so I was friendless for the duration of my working career. We took a Thanksgiving cruise and met a couple who live a few miles from our home. We started up a lasting friendship with them and still take vacations with them. I retired and needed something to do to fill those no longer working hours so I applied at the local library as a volunteer tutor for adults, teaching, reading to adults, English as a second language, pre-GED classes, and citizenship. One afternoon the library director found me waiting & knitting when a student had called in to say she was going to be a half hour late. We talked about how the library could use some adult craft classes. Over the years, I have taught knitting, crochet, color theory, embroidery and several other things to adults at the library. I have met so many people now who share my interests and hobbies. I sponser a weekly stitching group and many of the ladies have become very close friends of mine. I guess all this is my way of saying, do things you love & enjoy and build yourself a base of friends who enjoy the same things. I'm still a nerd from my old days working in the telephone and Internet industry so I also joined a local computer and tech society at the local college. We meet twice a month to speak geek and keep up with the rapid changes in technology. Making friends as an adult works the same way as when you were a kid, get involved in something you enjoy, join a group, start a hobby, take a class, and you will automatically meet people and make new friends. I realize when you are younger, working, raising a family, etc, it's not easy to find the time but you'd be surprised how many people you will meet if you spend only an hour a week taking or volunteering to teach a class. If your town doesn't have a library, ask the church about starting or joining a class there.
11 Aug 18 by member: BlueFront
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Someone mentioned the food problems when socializing with friends. My stitching group started out with someone bringing food, cookies, cake, candy, etc to each and every meeting. We discussed the added calories and solved the problem by stopping that habit. We switched to only birthday cupcakes but those birthday cupcakes started to happen too often as our group grew in numbers. So we decided to have only one "birthday" bash per year. Since this is Florida and we have Snowbirds (seasonal visitors) in our group, we picked late winter, April, for our annual food feast. We go all out once a year now instead of once a week. My husband and I still meet with other couples for dinner but we all have made a decision to find restaurants that serve healthier food whenever possible.
11 Aug 18 by member: BlueFront
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