kickingcarbs's Journal, 01 February 2018

You ended it because there was a reason you believe it needed to be ended. Many make excuses or deny reasons relationships need to end and they end up become toxic. If you went thought with it, then You made the right decision 

Take this time for you!! 

Know this: YOU ARE LOVED. Because of the fact that you still have love for your self worth, you made the right choice. It is natural for you to seek questions and validations for your ex’s poor actions, but the truth is that what they offered you was not love. Find your strength , give yourself the respect you deserve and surround yourself with friends and family that truly do love you. You will make it through this rough patch, but don’t second guess this great decision to let the poison go. Also, don’t replace that toxin with gratifying toxic food choices. 

You made the right decision no doubt and it has nothing to do with you. You`re stronger than you think and if kicking carbs is your goal, I totally believe that you can do it!  

So sorry you are going through this! You do have an army of support in this "secret" community :-) Cry as much as you need to, just know you are better off without him and this too, shall pass. 

My heart goes out to you. We all struggle with these things. I think your doing the right thing and talking to others. I would suggest a counselor. I'm sure there is nothing wrong with your image.... but don't give up on your own personal goals.  

>Kickingcarbs, Good for you! I'm impressed! your courage and strength acting on what you know to be true is awesome! No, it's not you, you ARE loveable, as are we all. Forgive yourself, forgive him, but never take him back into your life.! He is on the wrong path, for sure. Continue on your own healthy path, forget him. 

this is the most important time to consider YOU, be strong...so sorry. 

Tell the small stupid voice to BE QUIET! It really isn't you - I had a good friend drink himself to death last year, I hated it but there was nothing anyone could do except for him. Your ex is the only person that can change your ex, if you'd lost 50 lbs it wouldn't have changed him. Be kind to yourself, surround yourself with friends that care about you. Stay on track with your eating, and if possible take a long walk in a lovely park (if it's not too cold, of course!). Exercise always helps me deal with my feelings - good luck and stay in touch! 

Kicking carbs ...sweetie...he just wasn't ready to commit to anything yet it seems by your post.... and that could stem from many.. many things...it dosent have anything to do with you...just feels like it. Each relationship we go through will teach us something about what we need to get to our ultimate relationship.. Beginning with you... you need to have an ultimate relationship with yourself first and then it will all fall in place for you... I'm here for you as you begin to heal;)  

It's easy for us to be so objective from outside your life. I will say this: you shouldn't have toxic people close to you if you can possibly help it. One more time: KEEP NEGATIVE PEOPLE AWAY FROM YOU. The baggage will sink you. Focus on your health and weight loss, making a living to support yourself, and just doing the right thing in life. If you do that, you'll be fine. I recommend you weigh every other day. 

Lots of compassion for you, if one can open to the sadness and let it flow that is the path to freedom, widen your attention, read http://www.rjgeib.com/thoughts/geese/geese.html, soften the body, find parts that feel okay, the feet, buttocks, so you can be with but not lost in the feelings and in time they will release. Watch the thoughts, they are conditioned, not who you are, are there tow of you, the critic and the one that is not enough? You are perfect just the way you are. I have been through a couple of break-ups, ended with much better partner each time, the current and last for 40 years,... 

Hon what is over is over now take the time to take care of you.He wasn't making you happy ,so find someone who will and that is you for right now. Do what you need to do to find out what you really need to see you as beautiful,loving,and kind,then someone else will see that beauty in you.  

you did the right thing. you deserve better than that. you are not responsible for his issues with alcohol and his inability to be faithful....those things are his fault and his responsibility and have nothing to do with you. i've been through the exact same things and i know its hard not to think it's our fault, but it's not! i'm so sorry you're going through this and my heart goes out to you. and, if it helps at all, even the most physically beautiful women in the world get cheated on - look at all the famous actresses and models who have been cheated on. so it's not just "mere mortals" like you and i. lol. a lot of men (and, to be fair, many women, too) are just a-holes who can't keep it in their pants. chin up, sweet lady. looking good (but more importantly, feeling good / healthy) is the best revenge. my abusive ex called me fat after gaining weight during the abusive relationship. once i got free of him and his negativity, i started to put my focus back on making ME healthy and happy, and it really does help. day by day i'm starting to feel better emotionally, and eating better and exercise and self care are making me feel better physically and mentally. you can do this. use this time to love and nurture yourself and heal your broken heart. put yourself first. do something nice for YOU every single day. we as women are so used to putting everyone else's needs ahead of our own. this is your time. it's all about you. you can do this!!!! hugs! 

Congratulations on making a tough decision, but the right decision. You deserve to be loved and respected. His behavior had nothing to do with you. He is fully responsible for his actions. You are fully responsible for yours. You are now free to dream up, plan and materialize your own future without the pain and negativity holding you back and dragging you down. How liberating. His addiction likely spurred yours. Not any more. Do not try to find consolation in the thing that has caused you so much anguish. You do not want to start abusing yourself with food again and sabotaging your dreams. Cry all those tears out and wake up with a renewed determination to live your best life. A healthy beautiful life is what you want and deserve. 

I know it hurts right now, but he wasn't worth the time you wasted on him. Trust me. 

so sorry, been there, dealt with that years ago. I now have a wonderful husband that loves me and cares about me, only says kind encouraging things to me. your weight had nothing to do with HIS problem...you take care of yourself and live the life you want for yourself and be around strong healthy people.... 

Beautiful lady, you impress this grandmother with your spirit and good, clear sense. You're taking care of business; ridding yourself of toxins inside and out. Life holds all possibilities for you. God bless. 

He was stupid. That is not really your fault. 

Been there done that but it took a 19 year stretch to leave☠️ he was a mean drunk, cheater , n drug addict 👺 he had me convinced that no one would ever want me since kids were involved n if I did go they had to stay 🙀 so I stayed until one day I had enough I wasn’t going to be his punching bag anymore 😪I left with my kids n 3 short years I found my soulmate n he loved my kids😍 n to this day the drunk druggie mean man doesn’t see his kids he’s to busy being a looser 😂FYI that was 17 years ago🤗 but to end my story my soulmate went to be with Jesus only a short 6 years of marriage 😰