melissatwa's Journal, 05 January 2022

It is hard for me to believe that I started my journey here three years ago. During that time I've had some really beautiful times and great feelings of success. A tremendous amount of stress and some injuries have slowed me down and caused me to feel I am losing my grip. My focus is so committed to other issues in life. I am trying to find balance and to learn how to again take care of myself. Taking care of others can't consume me.

I know several pounds will probably drop quickly as I settle into a more normal CICO. I wasn't even going to weigh today, because I wanted to be "on track" a few days before facing the wretched scale. Whatever... it is what it is.

I know I can not fix the sorrows in life. I can sink deeper into letting the pain in my heart control me, or I can try make better decisions each day for my health and mental health.

There were some beautiful moments over the holidays! I am trying to hang onto those! I had a full house of mostly relaxed young people. Now they are back to attending classes (even though three are starting the quarter remotely). My nephew from Alberta made it home safely. My youngest daughters bf, who was staying with us most of the last couple weeks, left for his university campus in another part of the state yesterday. "Normal" is again life. My youngest girl's head is so bad. The pain is worse and the associated pain syndrome is enveloping so many other areas of her body. It just breaks my heart. But, she had some good days over the break, and we just hang onto the hope that the specialists will keep working to help her.

Every day is a new start. There are no mistakes in it yet. There is hope that today could be better than yesterday. There is the dream that there are good days ahead for the precious people I love... and for me.

Here are a few pictures that remind me of special memories from the last couple weeks. I got to have my five kids and three beautiful "extra" kids to love. The final photo is my husband and me from this summer while visiting Germany. There are good days ahead: I have good memories to savor. I am going to focus on my blessings!
155.0 lb Lost so far: 36.0 lb.    Still to go: 5.0 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.
gaining 1.3 lb a week

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Comments 
Good to see you here today. Beautiful pictures. I love the pavlova, it looks scrumptious. Holding you and yours in my heart. 💚💚💛💛💜💜 
05 Jan 22 by member: shirfleur 1
What a handsome bunch! Happy New Year. I'm wishing your daughter well! 
05 Jan 22 by member: erikahollister
Happy New Year 🎆  
05 Jan 22 by member: Sarah1950
Thinking of you Melissa. Still praying. ❤️🙏❤️ 
05 Jan 22 by member: wifey9707
Wonderful pictures. Hopeful for you and your family. 
05 Jan 22 by member: br_e_co
❤❤❤ 
05 Jan 22 by member: jazzylittleone
I love your photos. I'm praying for your daughter ❤️ I'm sure even with the few extra pounds, you're still a skinny minny lol. 2022 will be a year of Reflection. I can tell that already. Something about this year feels very different. 
05 Jan 22 by member: AdaOke
Thank you, dear Shir! I really am thankful for you. ❤️ You recognize our favorite dessert around here. I made two massive ones for New Years, and they were both gone in a sitting! 😁 Thank you, so much, Erika, Sarah, wifey, br_e_co, and Jazzy!  
05 Jan 22 by member: melissatwa
AdaOke, thank you! I'm sadly not feeling skinny and my fitness level has sunk to the worst in years, but you are lovely to say so! 😁 I am just praying for strenth and help I need in every area. I really hope 2022 will have some good bits. Last year had some good times too, and right now I simply have to keep myself from dwelling on the hard things. One day at a time for us all! ❤️  
05 Jan 22 by member: melissatwa
thanks for sharing you photos. I am praying for you all, especially your daughter. keep trying to be positive even though it is tough. 🙏  
05 Jan 22 by member: carol lynn1
awesome pictures thank you for sharing. 
05 Jan 22 by member: cherylemtman
Oh Melissa, what beautiful, real and encouraging post. ❤ Beautiful photos, speak volumes to the love between your family. ❤ 
05 Jan 22 by member: _bec_ca
great pictures. hang in there Melissa and you look amazing  
05 Jan 22 by member: yfrenkny
Beautiful family! Hoping this year is a wonderful year for all of you! 
05 Jan 22 by member: BeauxS
I love these pics so much!! You'll be fine! I know it! And I am praying for you and your girl. ❤️ 
05 Jan 22 by member: davidsprincess
Lovely pics M, thinking of you and lifting prayers🙏🏽 for you and your daughter. Your attitude inspires me, thanks so much. Hugs and love to you💞💞💞.  
05 Jan 22 by member: Daughter of the_King
Happy New Year, sweet Melissa ❤ I hope this year brings some relief for your daughter's struggles. You have set the groundwork for your own success. You're not so far from your goals that you can't get back to where you want to be. Hugs! 
05 Jan 22 by member: SherryeB
Oh and thanks for sharing some of your Holiday memories 😊 ❤ 💕  
05 Jan 22 by member: SherryeB
Beautiful!!!!🙂 
05 Jan 22 by member: Maine coon
carol lynn, I appreciate your prays more than I can say! cheryl, thank you so much for your kind comments! Dear, Becky! I don't really feel like my post is encouraging, but I am finding yours and the words of every sweet person who took time to reach out to me here giving me enCOURAGEment! Thank you! Yfrenkny, thank you! I'll not give up!  
06 Jan 22 by member: melissatwa

     
 

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