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Warm weather and lots of daylight have arrived here in the Northwest. It's nice and it lasts for such a short time! Today is Sunday, nothing really on the agenda yet ... I'd like to have something fun to do today other than housework. We'll see what I can rustle up.
I spent some time pondering "goal weight" and using online calculators to find a plethora of opinions about what my "ideal" weight might be. The answers? Anywhere from 130 to 176 pounds!!! That is quite a range isn't it? It is difficult for me not to get hung up on the numbers. For now my goal is 175. My husband would like my goal to be 180. I think that if I continue to exercise, eat well, and feed my body when it is truly hungry that my body will naturally settle on a weight range it likes. However, having never "arrived" before I'm not certain. And so I suppose I will just see where the journey takes me ... perhaps I will go lower than 175 ... perhaps not.
The other thing that is curious to me is body image. There are some moments I feel really good about my body now. Then there are others in which I am certain I am fat and I do not feel so good. I still see myself, in my minds eye as that woman who weighed nearly 300 lbs. When I catch my reflection in a mirror or a window I am sometimes taken aback. The "feeling fat" isn't about my stretch marks, or loose skin. Those I've pretty much made friends with. It is more an overall image of myself as BIG. At 5'10" I've never felt petite or small anyway. I usually tower over most of my female friends and many of my male friends as well. I hope, over time, and with practice on this journey I can shift my body image ... at least a little.
Enough said for today!!! Enjoy SUNDAY my friends!!! I look forward to catching up on your journals and continuing this journey with you!
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187.4 lb
Lost so far: 71.8 lb.
Still to go: 2.4 lb.
Diet followed 100%.
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Diet Calendar Entries for 31 May 2009:
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1177 kcal
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Fat: 19.90g | Prot: 106.03g | Carb: 137.08g.
Breakfast: medifast cocoa, water. Lunch: boneless skinless chicken, tomato, 2% cottage cheese. Dinner: Elk, Baked Beans - Original, Green Giant Broccoli & Carrots, perrier. Snacks/Other: apple, Marathon Nutrition Bar - Dark Chocolate Crunch, Heineken Light Beer, Tortilla Chips, Quakes Ranch, Fiber One Oats & Apple Streusel. more...
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2851 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Elliptical - 1 hour and 6 minutes, Resting - 14 hours and 54 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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losing 7.0 lb a week
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 Comments
You look so wonderful. I know you are feeling better and loving shopping. tee hee. If you only knew how much I wish I was tall like you. I am so short alot of the time I feel dumpy. Goes to show you we all have our little thorns in the side. Let's just try to accept us as God made us and appreciate life. You are my hero.
31 May 09 by member: judibird
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You do look great. You got all your vacation weight off, way to go. I sometimes look at myself and think oh man I am huge. I think we all do. I try to just tell myself I am beautiful all the time, and plus since my weight loss is fairly new I have a ton of people telling me how awesome I look so that always helps. Keep doing what you are doing, you obviously got it right. Way to go!
31 May 09 by member: yogamama3
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I know the BIG feeling. I have had it all my life as you know. Sometimes with me it has been from fat and other times just from a whole lot of lifting weights. My weight comes off me pretty evenly and there are days when I do not recognize my biceps. They've moved in the past 10 years from lifter guy arms to biker guy arms. I am thinking that the best thing I have done for this is actually look and notice people who are my height but closer to my ideal weight. Many of the guys I work with are my height and 170-175. I try to see me looking like them instead of the guys in the gym who are my height and 225. It is slowly working on me. I can see myself in a different frame. As I said in the journal, I am moving from wanting to be "big and strong" to "strong and fast". I am not sure what you could use and an equivalent but its helped me considerably.
31 May 09 by member: jchickos
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Thanks Yogamama, Jim, and of course Judibird aka mom!!! Jim funny that said you are moving from "big and strong" to "strong and fast." Mine is "lean and long" and "strong and tall" ... LOL!! When I exercise and I think, geez I can't do this anymore ... that is what I say to myself. When I am feeling awkward because I am so much "bigger" than everyone else around me I hear that mantra in my head and I stand up tall and proud. It is a shift that takes practice for me. I've spent too many years not feeling good about myself ... physically. I don't want to spend the rest of my years doing the same so it is worth the work. And, Yogamama I agree about being beautiful "all the time" and I try to do that with myself and with others. We cannot change what we do not own. I want to own me!!
31 May 09 by member: madaboutmoose
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