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Saturday greetings all you who visit Fatsecretland on the weekends!
Where to start ... (making you all think I have something earth shattering to share) ... well I haven't a clue!!! Life is quiet lately on my front. Since my stepdaughter hasn't stepped up to the plate in the employment realm her dad seems to talk to her less. She's no more "employed" than before which is unsettling at best because we are "on the hook" for her rent as cosigners until May 31st. I think I can swing putting together $575 ($475 for rent $100 for her last 2/3 payments for a nonrefundable pet deposit) for March 1st but not so sure about April and May. So it's not that the stressor has gone away ... just that I try not to make it my focus. I can't change the situation. With fear and trepidation and much resistance I did sign the lease.
Anyway what I meant to say is DH and I don't see each other very often right now (working opposite shifts) and when we do Erin isn't the focus of our conversations which is good. I ask, have you talked to her lately? He answers. But it is different. Hard to explain so I'm going to stop trying.
Work has been stressful with budget cuts but still good. Our program underwent major redesign this past year AND there was a Medicaid redesign at the same time and NOW our program is over budget a significant amount. When they did the Medicaid redesign a lot of what we were able to bill for went away. I was able to bill for all my services. Now I bill for none. It's crazy. The good news is no one has been laid off yet. My office is small. I'm the only full-time State employee ... my supervisor is full time but she covers two offices AND has a caseload of families. Wwe have one other state employee two days a week (an occupational therapist) and the rest of our team of early interventionists is made up of small contracts (speech, occupational therapy, physical therapy, and service coordination). We have an awesome team that has worked well together for many years. It's odd because we are federally mandated to provide early intervention services but if we don't have the state funds to pay for it??? I bet California has been through this ... wonder what they did???
Oh that's enough about that!!! DH and I are going to venture out for a little "us time" later today. I've been craving steak and baked potato so I hope we aren't going to a Chinese restaurant!!! Nah. We're not. It will be nice I think to spend a little time with him, just he and I. We both have Monday off too but Mom has another doctor's appointment and while we LOVE doing whatever she needs its just not the same kind of outing (she'd be the first to tell you that too!!).
Food wise? Oh it was a pretty good week after I got rid of the chocolate cake!!! I have kept my calories low, moved my body at least some most days, maintained the 16/8 schedule. I was STARVING last night and finally went to bed rather than eat. Work up STARVING this morning and I still have quite a few hours to go until feeding time so I'm drinking water and coffee. BUT ... the scale did go down to 224 this morning!! Only 5 more lbs. to my first mini-goal!!! Wahoo!!! That's a total of 16.4 lbs since I woke myself from my coma in January. Everytime I start to feel discouraged (mostly because I am focusing on the wrong things) I make myself do the math and look at my chart, and remember that this is a process not a race, a journey. I'm thick-headed, I don't listen well!!! Clearly I'm impaired in some way!! Tee hee!!!
So anyway ... I feel like I'm just blathering on here ...
So I'll think about what I'm grateful for today.
Oh boy I was able to sleep until 7 am!!!
Finished up laundry last night so that is NOT on my "to do" list!
Fresh coffee in my cup!
Date night in my future.
Family members all still upright.
Have a wonderful day, an enjoyable weekend. Let's hope that those things that trouble us all don't consume our every waking moment. That we choose to focus only on those things we can actually control rather than feeling overwhelmed by all the things we can't control. Be kind to yourselves. Being kind to myself is always on the TOP of my daily "to do" list. Take care!
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224.0 lb
Lost so far: 35.2 lb.
Still to go: 39.0 lb.
Diet followed 100%.
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Diet Calendar Entries for 15 February 2014:
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1260 kcal
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Fat: 78.37g | Prot: 67.15g | Carb: 80.38g.
Lunch: Body Fortress Super Advanced Whey Protein - Vanilla, Pineapple, Banana, Baby Spinach, Coconut Dream Coconut Milk. Dinner: Anheuser-Busch Bud Light Beer, Blue or Roquefort Cheese Dressing, Lone Star Steakhouse Dinner Salad, Baked Potato (Peel Eaten), Great American Beef Rib Eye Steaks. Snacks/Other: Godiva Dark Chocolate Truffles, International Delight Cold Stone Creamery Hot For Cookie Coffee Creamer. more...
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2855 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Pilates - 30 minutes, Elliptical - 30 minutes, Resting - 15 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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losing 15.4 lb a week
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 Comments
What a position go be in with your stepdaughter... Some people have no conscience. Glad you and DH aren't arguing about it... That would be even worse... It sounds as if he is just 'resigned' to it. Glad your getting some time together :-)
15 Feb 14 by member: Sk1nnyfuture
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Love your blabbering ! Lol I feel like I'm all up to date now too. Glad you are getting to spend some time with hubby and hope you get some steak. Hugs and thanks for your support.
15 Feb 14 by member: chattycathy1955
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When it first happened we were in a bad, bad spot with each other. That November. That's why I agreed to sign the lease even though I was 99.9% sure it was a mistake. Dear Erin has a horrid track record with responsibility, keeping a job, paying bills on time, and so forth. DH is the one who has since said "you were right." So there is no sense in rubbing it in. It is what it is and we have only 3 more months in the hot seat with her and she will once again be on her own. It is an expensive compromise to make with DH but isn't that what love is all about? I do have lines I won't cross (for example she will not live with us no matter what) but I felt like if I didn't agree it would bring severe harm to us. We've been together too long and been through too much. So I was right. Great. I was pretty certain I was right. I have a pretty good sense of things. And I do love her. She's been in my life for almost 30 years. She is the only daughter I'll ever have. However, I too have a life. And money doesn't grow on trees for us. DH insists she is paying us back every penny. It won't happen. With next months rent we will be up to two grand in the hole. Two more months rent will bring us to three grand. We did this once before for her when she was 25. She lasted 6 weeks in the place we found for her before she informed us she wasn't "happy" and was going back to Seattle. She was upset that we were upset. Told me we had to support her no matter what because that was our job as her parents. I told her when she had her own kids she could decide if she thought that was true. That we loved her no matter what but no, we did not have to support her no matter what. We didn't talk for several years unless she called when she was drunk. Anyway, it is a not great situation to be in. But, I have a mother who rocks the Casbah, my health, a decent job, a roof over my head, and I'm still married despite all the drama. I still get pissed off about it. Every time I sit down to pay our bills. When I think about the things we need to do (new hot water heater, maintenance on the cars, pay off debt, work towards retirement, things that need tending in the house, etc.). But the anger will kill me. The anger will build into resentments that will poison the good things I have in my life. At least I can say that today. Maybe not tomorrow but yea for today.
15 Feb 14 by member: madaboutmoose
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What a very good attitude to have... But you are right, about not having her live with you and also, about saving for retirement. Let's be honest, if you became ill, old and needed support, would she be there helping you? - it doesn't sound like it. Not that you do things, to get things back, BUT, when you put yourself at the back of the queue and jeopardise your long term future, you have to step away. It's not as if she is incapable, that would be a different story, it sounds as if she is either lazy, or takes advantage because she can.
15 Feb 14 by member: Sk1nnyfuture
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She's completely messed up. She's a lot like her biological mother unfortunately. She "uses" people. She is VERY good at it. Just had a nice conversation with DH ... seems he talked to her this week and it was ugly. He apologized, again, for putting us in the situation. Feels badly that he didn't trust me. It was nice.
15 Feb 14 by member: madaboutmoose
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Awwww. That's good that you and DH had that conversation.
15 Feb 14 by member: Sk1nnyfuture
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