cocobutt's Journal, 21 March 2013

I've been having severe chocolate cravings. I need to talk myself out of it. I was in Walgreen's yesterday to buy a birthday card, but managed to bypass the candy section. I wasn't hungry, and I reminded myself that if I ate a buttload of sugar, I would feel horrible. That usually doesn't stop me though.

I do have a lot of anxiety about being looked at with disdain by people who know I've gained a lot of weight back. It's amazing how often it consumes my thoughts. I'm supposed to get my hair cut today, and the last time I was at the salon, I weighed 30 pounds less. I know the lady who owns the salon will blurt out something about how fat I am. She comes from the old country, where being tactful is not part of the culture. Pretty funny really.

Our daughter comes home tomorrow. She'll probably blurt out something about my blubber too. She can go back to calling me by my old nickname, Garby D. As in garbage disposal.

I guess I could say, it shouldn't matter what size I am, as long as I feel healthy. Well, I don't exactly feel as energetic as I did 30 pounds lighter. But at least I can still bend over to tie my shoes, unlike when I was 25 pounds heavier than now.

What will it take for me to reverse this trend?

183.6 lb Lost so far: 28.4 lb.    Still to go: 33.6 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.