madaboutmoose's Journal, 20 August 2010

It's Friday!!! Finally!!!

I shut off my alarm, the dog jumped up on the bed and curled up with me and I fell asleep, waking up to Bob's alarm about 30 minutes later!! LOL!! Fortunately I have an little bit of extra time this morning since I am going directly to visits instead of the office ... so no worries!! Very unlike me though.

I updated my weight history. The bottom line is I am holding my own. Saturday, last week I weighed in at 180.8. Today I was 181. I'd call that even. No real loss. No real gain.

Grateful ....

1. Friday and Payday all wrapped up into one!

2. Spending a little time with a girlfriend this evening!

3. beginning the paperwork process for the endorsement I'm applying for yesterday ... what an arduous task!!

4. the return of cooler temperatures ...

5. now!!!!

I don't think I'm quite awake!! So, I suppose I better get going, get on my elliptical and wake myself up. I am conscious of 'wanting' to weigh less than I do and yet balancing that with being grateful and excited that I weigh what I do! There are moments I feel like I am where I am going to be forever, weight wise and it occurs to me ... so what? What if this is 'it'? I feel good, I look good, I weigh less than I ever remember in my adult life. I am enjoying life. That is important. I need to be ever mindful of resisting adopting a 'dieting' frame of mind, be cautious to keep myself from beginning to beat up on myself, restricting myself in an unhealthy way. If I am honest with myself, if I continue to be mindful and kind to myself and be present in each moment ... that is the success!! I remind myself not to focus just on the numbers but look at the long run, lots of self talk. I feel like I teeter sometimes ... I can feel that 'black dog' on my shoulder trying to tell me I'm a failure ... that if I was truly serious I would weigh 175 ... don't feed the 'black dog'!!!

So ... there are my half awake ponderings this morning. I will continue to practice kindness towards myself and embrace this moment!!! Shall we continue on?? Of course we shall!!! Have a wonderful day ...
181.0 lb Lost so far: 78.2 lb.    Still to go: 0 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.

Diet Calendar Entries for 20 August 2010:
1563 kcal Fat: 32.97g | Prot: 85.30g | Carb: 192.69g.   Breakfast: Jarlsberg Lite, water, La Tortilla Factory Low Carb Tortilla, large egg. Lunch: banana, Weight Watchers Yogurt, Jarlsberg Lite, white turkey meat, Whole Wheat Sandwich Thins. Dinner: Arroz con Pollo, butter, corn tortilla, margarita. more...
3047 kcal Activities & Exercise: Desk Work - 9 hours, Driving - 2 hours, Precor Elliptical - 45 minutes, Resting - 4 hours and 15 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
losing 11.2 lb a week

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Comments 
Happy Friday Moose! My boss keeps saying "just wait, the weather is gonna pay us back", she has been driving me crazy for about a month or so. Yes, I admit that these Sacramento Summer Days have been unusually mild and it feels like heaven and is too good to be true but I finally told her, "Lynn, why don't you enjoy these days while we have them". Yep focusing on the numbers is distracting when focusing on what is real in the present moment can be so much more pleasant. TOWANDA!! 
20 Aug 10 by member: Lisa Online
Moose.. I think your dog has a good idea!! and your confidence and positivity is contagious!! What kinda job do you do? sounds enjoyable.. even with the dreaded paperwork!!  
20 Aug 10 by member: amy1flite
Hey moose, I would also call that an even steven:) you have obviously mastered maintaining and that is no easy task. Have a great day and as usual, nice journal:)  
20 Aug 10 by member: Baileyboo
Hi Carol! You sound great and make lots of sense for someone who is still half sleeping. I hate waking up late and being behind before I start my day but you sound relaxed. Good for you! I hope you get everything done that you need to today and I hope you have a great time with your girlfriend. I also hope hope hope that we get to chat this weekend. Take care! Enjoy this day!! 
20 Aug 10 by member: chattycathy1955
Happy Friday!! I think it was a good idea to get up a little later and enjoy Blue's hug... I have this "black dog's" thoughts often too. Even though I feel good and the scale says I'm at my goal weight, I find myself thinking "you have to lose weight". I set my mind to lose weight long time ago and it's very hard to change it... I would like to press "erase" in my brain but that is not possible. But since I met you, I learned to embrace myself and to stop feeding the black dog. Thank you Carol for your journals, they help me more than the diet calendar or the steady number on the scale. Have a great day, and a great night ;-)  
20 Aug 10 by member: jessyline
Aw ... you all are so good to me!!! Thank you!!! I am awake now and ready for the day!! Well, I still need to walk the dog and make my food for the day and finish my hair and make up but other than that I am READY!! Amy - I'm a Family Therapist and I work in an early intervention program that serves children birth to three years old and their families and it is a WONDERFUL job!!! I love working with families with little ones ... such a time of opportunity, growth, possibilities!! There are days I think ... I get paid to do this?? This week I got to swing TWICE ... who gets paid to swing?? LOL!!! Okay ... gotta run ... must be on the road in 30 minutes!! 
20 Aug 10 by member: madaboutmoose
I like that "so what" attitude! Good for you! Loving yourself just as you are and being happy with all you have accomplished is awesome! So many people go on that rollercoaster of "just 5 more pounds" and beat themselves to heck in the process. I am glad you have not fallen into that! Woot!! 
20 Aug 10 by member: dawn0001
Moose...I REALLY hear you on the number thing. You say 175 is/was the goal. AND like you have said....and is so very true, YOU have to listen to your body. I have NOT reached my goal.....BUT even 26 pounds down....I REALLY question my goal. It is, as you have said- just a number. Do i think I will REACH my goal?? Im NOT sure. I think MY BODYS goal is probably higher than the "NUMBER" i choose for MY goal. AND when that time comes....I think like you...I need to accept that. I would assume MANITAINING involves being able to LIVE your life with as much joy as possible.....and accepting where your body wants to maintain. I think my goal....NOW in retrospect....maybe low. I don't wanna sport the anorexia look.....I want to be HEALTHY....and feel good...and feel I am where i should be. SO i really get your thoughts here. AND believe everyone should consider what their ACTUAL goal is. If its fitting into the normal range on a weight chart....or if it is feeling good and comfortable in your skin, feeling healthy- and able to maintain that size without struggle. And yeah those damn "black dogs".....AS much as I love animals.....grrrr those guys need to go!!!! Have a GREAT Friday!!! 
20 Aug 10 by member: Klannoye
My cat used to sleep with us every night, but now that its warm, he sleeps down stairs on the cool leather couch. And to tell you the truth - I miss him! lol Its nice having an animal with you I guess. Anyway.... I'm glad its Friday to, and can't wait for my night out tonight - have a good one, and I'll think if you as I'm dancing on the bar tops!!!! JOKE! 
20 Aug 10 by member: MomofTwoGirls
Good job at maintaining. You are very close to 175 now, why not just complete the journey and contemlate life from there? Have a great weekend moose! 
20 Aug 10 by member: information
Moose, I love the animals. As I sit here attempting to type, my Maine Coon, Stewie is using my left arm as a pillow, my yellow long hair is resting against my right arm, hoping that I might stop and pet him (which I do wuite often), the Great Pyrenees is sleeping at my feet, and the Border Collie is at my side. They all (3 cats and 2 dogs) love to sleep with us and take turns. It makes for a dusty duvet cover at times, but it is so relaxing to feel that soft fur under your hand. Moose enjoy your day. Your job sounds heavenly. 
20 Aug 10 by member: ctlss
Listen to all us animal lovers! Salem complains that I snuggle Lily (my girl cocker spaniel) more in bed than I do him! Lol.  
20 Aug 10 by member: Chris1979
There is no magical number that would make us happy. What if you were bouncing around 175? You'd probably be having the same thoughts about 170, lol :) We must avoid attaching too much importance to the number. Though I still think we will be meeting at 175 sooner rather than later, I also don't care when. We are happy and healthy NOW! Lets enjoy it and go with the flow :) Hoorah for friday and payday! Two wonderful things all wrapped up into one! 
20 Aug 10 by member: k8yk
Hooray for Friday! Hooray for maintaining too. 
20 Aug 10 by member: abbadabba
If 175 comes ... and it may ... I will be happy to see it. I know what I am eating and I am not willing to punish myself into a number. It won't work. It will backfire. I think I'll stop talking about it!!! LOL!!! I'm good right here, right now!! Go with the flow I shall ... which means I just keep trekking along this path ... staying mindful, staying grateful, being kind to myself!!! 
20 Aug 10 by member: madaboutmoose
Boy, I am so with you guys there. I have been desperately trying to get to 130 and it is not happening! I am going to attempt to revamp something to give it a kick. Unfortunately, I have to watch the numbers to know where I am. I am almost comfortable with myself but need the satisfaction I will feel just a bit lower. I really want to be around 125 which will be my new goal once I reach 130. It is almost a game to see if I can get there. It's been years. Even tho I watch the numbers carefully, I am being kind to myself. I allow myself to indulge occasionally on something I like, so I don't really feel like the number is controlling me but rather me controlling the number. So, Moose, anymore bears lately? Can you send some of that cooler weather our way? It is still terribly hot here. High 90's with no relief in sight. Heat index in the 105 range. Ugh! Supposed to get rain this weekend, HA! So they say.... Have a great night Carol with your friend! 
20 Aug 10 by member: The Next Number
but those numbers aren't even, one is... never mind. I won't rain on your parade..heeehe I am just bitter cause I am stuck at home on a friday night. hmph. lol I am really glad your weekly weigh in proves you are in control. I am sure you are just ecstatic your friday finally came. have a wonderful weekend buddy! 
21 Aug 10 by member: cindyshine

     
 

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