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Good morning.
Yup. It's me. I'm here. :) LOL.
I've been away for a while. It hasn't been an easy time, but I have lived through it, and I think things are all better now. :)
As many of you have noticed - and some of you (which I REALLY appreciate) have written to me and pointed out - my weight has gone up quite a chunk. This is clearly what happens when you start slacking and when you lose focus.
Focus is one of the most important things to do when you lose weight. No focus, no success. I see it in the weight loss class I teach. Those who succeed, are the ones who are keen on the system, register their food, show up at meetings. In short - they focus.
I had a good talk with Wife yesterday. She was complaining, telling me that she felt the kilos creeping back on. She asked me to help, and I told her that I need the help too.
So, we agreet - once again - to give it a go, and do right. I told her I will have to be a little hard on her when she is misbehaving, and she told me she is okay with that. I asked her to be even harder on me when I want to misbehave. I need it.
Normally, I'd say let's just go NOW. However, "NOW" is Thanksgiving Day, and there is no chance that we'll behave today. Wife started cooking at 4 AM, and we have 15 guests coming over for dinner tonight. So the deal is this: Enjoy the hell out of Thanksgiving, and we start when we get out of bed in the morning. This is what we need to to do, and what we WANT to do.
I will still reach my goal of being under 80 kgs by February 22nd, 2013. This is when I have my doctor's eval for my 2nd surgery. I need to lose the weight before then, so they can evaluate and cut things right. I'm already approved for the surgery, but I have to lose the weight. This is important.
These last months/weeks have been SO hard on me. They've been a struggle, and I am so looking forward to putting it all behind me. Actually, I'm glad I'm getting going again, and I will be looking forward to it.
Today, I am feeling miserable. The reason for the talk yesterday was that we had way too large a dinner. We both felt horrible all evening, and we agreed that this needed to stop.
Today I am being punished for yesterday's shenanigans. My stomach is NOT happy, I'm bloated and gassy, and I just feel horrible. Hopefully this will keep me from over eating tonight. :)
I will also put my focus back on writing a daily journal, or close to daily. I see that it became tedious to write all the time, but I also see why. It's nowhere near as fun writing a journal when you can't brag about doing well. When you have to write about struggling over and frickin' over, then the fun stops. Maybe the outlook to write a nice positive post can help motivating me to do good?
I also need to get my tools in check. I need to get used to fully weigh my foods, and to fully register everything, both food and exercise. Once again, it's all about focus.
I have actually considered doing another calorie counter. FatSecret is an awesome tool, but I teach another system, and I don't have too much experience doing it. So I am considering if I should register my food there instead. Trouble is, I will lose my accountability with you guys, and I really don't want that. I need that. Badly.
I think I will have to - HAVE TO - stay here, and then when my weight is more reasonable, maybe consider shifting over.
I will still be doing my weigh-in and journaling here. I like this place.
Last year, I wrote a nice post for Thanksgiving. I was doing super well. I remember writing about taking away my Indulgence Day before AND AFTER Thanksgiving, to give room for a middle-of-the-week feast. I remember writing a LOT about how awesome you guys are, and how much I like it here.
I could write the whole thing again. You guys have been the best, helping ME through this. It's great to see that what we give out in help and support between buddies comes back when we need it. I want to say thank you to all of you who has been writing to me. I hope I got to reply to all of you. If I forgot someone, then I apologize. As I stated earlier, my focus has been elsewhere. I did NOT mean to not reply to any message.
So...
I'm still here. I'm rebooting once more. I'm setting a goal of reaching 80 kilos before/on 22. february 2013. This is for my health, for my surgery, for my Wife and Daughter. Hell, it's even for the cat. It's for my happiness and well being. It's for my comfort. Geez, do I need more reasons? Let's go.
Please - PLEASE - expect a journal from me again tomorrow. If you don't see one, please write to me and tell me that I need to get my ass in gear. :)
Happy Thanksgiving, Guys. Make wise decisions (I will try too, even if I'm not counting tonight), and enjoy it. I hope you all have an amazing day!
Today, I am thankful for:
- Wife and I talking yesterday.
- Rebooting.
- Actually coming on here and writing a journal. It feels like reconnecting with a dear old friend. I like it.
- Morning coffee.
- 15 awesome friends and family members visiting tonight.
- Wife's awesome cooking. She's going all out!
- FatSecret (the website)
- FatSecret (the app)
- and not least: FatSecret - My buddies. You guys keep pushing me, checking up on me, motivating me. I think it's time I start motivating others again. I severely missed that. I don't like the feeling of being a "has-been". lol.
Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate, and Happy Thursday to the rest of you. Regardless, hand over a hug to someone you care for. If I could, I'd hug every single one of you guys.
Life is good.
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208.3 lb
Lost so far: 133.4 lb.
Still to go: 20.9 lb.
Diet followed poorly.
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gaining 5.6 lb a week
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