peeperjj's Journal, 27 January 2019

My depression got worse. Or rather I got way more irritable. I went in to be tested for bipolar and he says my depression morphed into bipolar. So I wasn’t supposed to stop the meds immediately but he understood why I did so and that proved to him that it was mixed bipolar.

I get to take my normal meds along with an anxiety med twice a day and another med at night. Take with food... he assured me these shouldn’t cause weight gain and I’d only need to eat a little food with each one not a meal. Ate half a rice crispy treat, took the morning two and ate the rest. Talk about an upset stomach! I’ve never eaten with my Wellbutrin but I always took it 1-2 hours after dinner. It never upset my tummy so it has to be the anxiety med. There goes my morning fasting and eating a late lunch! I’ll have to eat something more substantial I guess. Buttered toast alone is 200 😖.

I’m hopeful they got this figured out finally so maybe I won’t have mood swings! Maybe I won’t be so irritable. Maybe I will finally be able to concentrate during the day and sleep at night. I wish they could just give me a hormonal shot or something to balance out my chemical/hormonal imbalance but they can’t. Pills or nothing. So pills it is.

My oldest is on an antidepressant as of the 10th. She’s much happier, smiling more and not as bitchy. She’s 13 so we still have some of it but I have my kid back! The funny kid from 5 years ago who would joke around with me and didn’t take everything personally. With us both trying to get sorted out home life has been easier. Now if I could just get hubby to go lol. Most of this came about because of family troubles. Mine not so much but his and my daughters did. The counselor has diagnosed him after two visits and says he manages well... until he doesn’t. But men ugh, will take a pill for testosterone or blood pressure but not for an imbalance in the brain or stress or whatever. No meditation either.

Anyway two of us are working to even out and I see many happy days in our future! I also see some frustration when the scale will start creeping up slightly from having to add in two big snacks. That or I cut my dinner way down and won’t be able to sleep from hunger lol. Time to play around and see what works.

123.0 lb Lost so far: 37.6 lb.    Still to go: 0 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.

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1512 kcal

Fat: 65.47g | Prot: 87.67g | Carb: 143.40g.   Breakfast: Kellogg's Rice Krispies Treats (22g). Lunch: Great Value Taco Seasoning, Ground Beef (95% Lean / 5% Fat, Crumbles, Cooked, Pan-Browned), Mission Carb Balance Medium/Soft Taco Flour Tortillas, Great Value Sharp Cheddar Cheese. Dinner: Chili's Rice (Side), Chili's Beef Fajitas, Las Fortunitas Corn Tortilla Chips, Kroger Queso Fresco , Chili's Salsa Picante Sauce, Chili's Classic Chicken Fajitas. Snacks/Other: Nestle 100 Grand (Fun Size). more...

1622 kcal

Activities & Exercise: Apple Health - 24 hours. more...