Klynn82's Journal, 08 June 2018

Those who matter, dont mind and those who mind, dont matter.

Friday, the weekend is peeking back at us now!!!

Happy Friday everyone!! I hope you are all having a wonderful day so far!!

So just as I expected, my weight went up. At least not as much and I had worried it would. I know that it could be a number of factors and that I should focus on how I feel, not what the stupid scale says, but its hard not to when you work so hard. Its disheartening when you feel like you have done so much and then you look down and the scaled says "Nope, you failed". I swear, mine doesnt even have numbers on it anymore, it just says "FAIL". It sucks.

I know that its part of the process, you cant always go down, there are going to be times you go up as well. I have to face that and move forward. I am doing what is best for me and my health. I am going to keep pushing, keep moving forward. I see the light at the end of the tunnel, and yeah, right now its a pinprick, but soon it will be a bright glorious light for me to step into.

I am wearing a shirt today that I bought when I was supersized and it was supposed to be flowy at the bottom and it always hugged me super tight. Today, its flowy and fits just like it is supposed to!!! Those NSV are what keep me going when the old meanie scale says that I gained weight.

I notice that lots of people post journals that are quick and to the point and mine are always long and wordy. I am sorry about that. I just have a lot to say, I guess. I dont mean to bore anyone or take up your time, so thank you for reading these. I received so much love and support from people here and I just want you all to know how much I appreciate that. I try to always give you the real me, and sometimes the real me isnt happy, isnt in the mood to eat right, isnt in the mindset to be supportive or helpful.

I called my husband yesterday after I left work and told him I was going to get ice cream on the way home. I told him I had a bad day and I wanted rolled ice cream. He said if I felt like I needed that, then go ahead, he would support me no matter what. I had it planned out, I was going to get the one with peanut butter and bananas and then put nutella on top. It was going to be delicious. It was going to make me feel better after my sensitive little feelings got hurt. It was going to be exactly what I needed.

But then I heard the voices of the people here who have reached out to me, told me that my journey has inspired them to work harder, the ones who said they look to my journals for strength and support, the ones who said that they believed they could do it because they see me doing it. You all called out to me. Told me that I didnt need that, I could feel better by choosing to feel better, I didnt need to feed the dragon. The dragon has eaten enough. I didnt get ice cream. I went home, to my family who showed me love and support. Who were proud of me for facing that dragon, and saying no, you have taken enough from me and its not going to happen again.

I was still wary this morning about posting. I went back and forth with myself. But I got messages from people, my inbox was full of love and I knew that I had to let yesterday go and greet today with a fresh new attitude. Others actions should not dictate who I am or where I am going. Only I can dictate that. And so here I am. Weight gain and all.

Today I will pray for the people here who need that little push, the ones who feel broken and damaged because they feel like they arent good enough. I will pray that the Lord takes hold of you and helps you see that to Him and to all of us, you are enough. You are perfect. I pray for strength of spirit, I pray that we all face the dragon and say no. I pray that those who are hurting feel loved and I pray for healing in hearts and minds. I thank you God for a new day, a new chance to praise and give thanks. I thank you for a renewed spirit and a fresh outlook. I give you praise for all the blessings in my life. In Jesus holy name, Amen.

I hope you all have a wonderful day. Remember that we are all fighting our own battles, and we all need a little kindness shown to us at times. Sending you all my love!

401.0 lb Lost so far: 104.0 lb.    Still to go: 151.0 lb.    Diet followed 100%.

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809 kcal

Fat: 63.05g | Prot: 67.28g | Carb: 3.00g.   Breakfast: Great Value Heavy Whipping Cream Ultra Pasteurized, Carrington Farms Pure, Unrefined, Cold Pressed Coconut Oil 100% Organic Extra Virgin, Coffee (Brewed From Grounds). Dinner: Arby's Roast Beef (No Bun), Arby's Large Roast Beef (No Bun), Arby's Classic Roast Beef (No Bun). more...

3552 kcal

Activities & Exercise: Fitbit - 24 hours. more...