kingkeld's Journal, 16 January 2012

Wow, this weekend was weird.

I needed a day of just letting go of my diet, so I took my Indulgence Day, and just didn't care. Never again. I was hurting, feeling stuffed, and generally uncomfortable all day. Lesson learned. Then, Sunday, when I got up I started feeling dizzy and really sick. I don't think it's related to Saturday, though. I went to bed again and slept basically all day. What a waste of a perfectly good weekend.

I've had a lot of stressing over work this weekend. Sometimes I feel that there is a little too much going on, too many things I haven't learned yet, and too many places where I'm simply insecure. I think I am generally doing okay, though, it's just the insecurity that kills me. I like to know what I'm doing. I'm working on it though, and I'll get there. I just hope I get there before the stress of it all gets to me.

Today, and the rest of this week, I will work on a refocus on everything. Not just work, though I feel that I need to do this too. I think I need to simply do some minor adjustments, and it will be better. It could also just be that I need a few cases to settle down, then it's hopefully all better. That's what I'll be working on, alongside all the usual stuff. What I hate about it is that whenever I do anything, or whenever anything happens, it generates MORE work, more stuff to make me fall behind if I'm not careful. It can really make you feel like drowning if you're not careful. This is what I want to avoid, and this is what I'll be working on.

The 2nd part is that I want/need to "reboot" my weight loss journey. I was looking at numbers just now, and I am just not losing enough weight. I am lingering in that same 81-82 kg category that I have been in for a month. I am so close to the goal, and I don't see it come much closer. Sure, I've had new lows every week, but the steps are not big enough. I need to move a little bit faster.

I looked at what I've been doing at 1800 calories per day for the last week. Of course, it's 1800 per day, 6 days per week, plus my Indulgence Day, which is 3500. This evens out to an average of 2040 calories per day. To me, it seems to high. I think I need to go back to where I was. I will spend this week at 1600 calories, plus my Indulgence day. That will cut back another 1200 calories over the week, hopefully showing a little more on the result side.

Also, I feel that I have been slacking a little too much when it comes to food choices. Too many desserts (though low cal) in too large portions. I haven't really gone over what I'm allowed, but I feel that I haven't given my 100% in this.

Hopefully, this is enough to make the decision to get going again. Let's do this! There is no trying, remember? :)

I hope you guys had a much better weekend than I did. Mine, honestly, was not good.

This morning I feel somewhat sick again. The dizziness is still there lingering, but I need to go to work. If I don't, the infamous work load will be bigger, and I'll be stressing even more about them. I need to feel that I at least am doing something about it.

Today, I am thankful for
- my beautiful, understanding wife, who is always there for me.
- the decision to "reboot" my diet.

Busy or not, stressed or not, sick or not, Life IS good!
182.5 lb Lost so far: 159.2 lb.    Still to go: 0 lb.    Diet followed 100%.

Diet Calendar Entries for 16 January 2012:
1189 kcal Fat: 46.45g | Prot: 85.86g | Carb: 111.85g.   Breakfast: Egg, Onions, Mushrooms, Bell Peppers, Tomatoes, Green Chili Peppers (Canned). Lunch: Lettuce Salad with Assorted Vegetables, Green Chili Peppers (Canned), Tomatoes, Bell Peppers, Mushrooms, Onions, Egg. Dinner: Cooked Broccoli (Fat Not Added in Cooking), Cooked Carrots, Rainbow Trout (Farmed). Snacks/Other: Kakaois, Eclipse Peppermint Sugar Free Chewing Gum, Werther's Original Sugar Free Hard Candy, Apples. more...
3211 kcal Activities & Exercise: Bicycling (leisurely) - <10/mph - 1 hour, Standing - 6 hours and 30 minutes, Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 20 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours, Sitting - 6 hours and 10 minutes, Desk Work - 2 hours. more...
losing 12.3 lb a week

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Comments 
Lots of wicked feedback here from your buddies. All I really want to say is this: don't beat yourself up too much. Remember what you've achieved, and be proud of it. Be reassured that you're just as capable of completing the journey. But sometimes, for WHATEVER reason, things go backwards or stall a bit. Don't get sucked into thinking negatively of yourself if you have one of those times. Just log the lessons, put the rest of it out of your mind, and move on with hope and determination. ALSO, listen to Twisted Sister, "We're Not Going To Take It", for a dose of good positive silly 80s glamrock. =) 
16 Jan 12 by member: ferlengheti
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