RkTkFx's Journal, 09 February 2016

A word of caution: Take the high road, no matter what.

Recently, I had an experience with a co-worker that made me stop and take stock. She is a very insecure person who was maybe 40-50 lbs. overweight. She started a diet 6 weeks ago and has lost about 25 lbs. She is clearly feeling better and looking great! Before, she was sweet and thoughtful, understanding and a great resource for the department. With the weight loss, she seems to be gaining confidence, feeling more in control and powerful. However, I think she has a vengeful side that is starting to come out. Now, I see her taking her frustrations out on other women (skinnier women that I think she felt inferior to prior to losing the weight...) causing drama, pointing fingers, getting revenge, etc. I think she viewed the skinny women as a threat, and now that she has lost some weight, see's this as her chance to go toe-to-toe and stake out her territory. It's sad, really.

Moral of the story: take the high road, EVERY time. Enjoy your new body, feel good in your skin, but not at the expense of others. Even if you were ridiculed, made fun of, and made to feel very small, don't give in. The inner beauty of a gracious and kind heart looks good on anyone, no matter their size or shape. But a vindictive, hateful heart can make even the "hottest" woman totally undesirable and UGLY!!

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1 to 20 of 44
being a woman is a mind game in itself... but maybe those women said things to her before. it's hard to say unless you are her. I worked almost exclusively with women for 7 years at a group home... they mess with your head in a setting like that. I know i sound awful and people will disagree. .. but I've witnessed the same type of thing from all sides... it can get ugly... if I were you, I'd duck and cover till they get a new ranking system going and find out who the new top dog is..... good luck... you'll need it.  
09 Feb 16 by member: 8hunter6
Yes a complete paradox, enigma and contradiction rolled into one ..and then there's women... ;p 
09 Feb 16 by member: -FatWarrior-
09 Feb 16 by member: 8hunter6
Last sentence says it all. thanks for sharing 
10 Feb 16 by member: Sugar Waffle
Well said. The view is always better from the high road. "The inner beauty..." thought should be etched in every mirror. 
10 Feb 16 by member: Scalewatcher3
Love that Scalewatcher3! 
10 Feb 16 by member: Sugar Waffle
Thanks Sugar Waffle! 
10 Feb 16 by member: Scalewatcher3
10 Feb 16 by member: Rguarino
Wonderful post, thank you for sharing. It never ceases to amaze me that so many formerly heavy people start to turn into bullies themselves once they've lost the weight. I've even seen posts on this site from formerly heavy people talking about how grossed out and disgusted they are by heavy people... it's pretty messed up. 
10 Feb 16 by member: Yolanda9179
Great post, and I hope that she figures out that those kind of darker emotions are ultimately not productive. Taking charge of our lives and bodies is a tough but deeply positive thing; our inner health is best served by emotions that are also positive!  
10 Feb 16 by member: real_gone_girl
ive often noticed that women who've lost a lot of weight tend to act like that at times and its sad to see.. 
10 Feb 16 by member: redgirl1974
thank you for the reminder for all of us.  
10 Feb 16 by member: nyhardhat
Nice post for Ash Wednesday.  
10 Feb 16 by member: Sarah1950
10 Feb 16 by member: John10251
Great post. I definitely agree with Yolanda, on here I've seen some people who have had a lot of success in losing weight calling heavier people 'grotesque' and making snide, mean comments to others. How quickly some people forget what it's like being on the other side of that. 
10 Feb 16 by member: notelaine
10 Feb 16 by member: Kentman
10 Feb 16 by member: jparlett
You are so right! 
10 Feb 16 by member: skwhite
This co-workers' behavior sounds a bit extreme. Sounds like it has nothing to do with the other women in the workplace. I would bet she is both proud of herself and terrified at the same time. Whereas the fat she was carrying was her wall against intimacy before, she's still pushing people away, feeling vulnerable and flailing around, her moorings temporarily lost to her. So sad what we do when our defenses leave us. There but for the grace of God...  
10 Feb 16 by member: carol in kinderhook
Sometimes we don't know how what we say will affect someone else. I remember when I was in my early 30s I was very thin and at a Christmas party, I was eating goodies and complained to the group I was standing with eating like this I'll gain 5 pounds by the time the holidays are over. An over weight woman said to me as skinny as you are it won't matter. My automatic response to her was no matter what size you are if you gain weight your clothes won't fit. She looked at me and said I never thought of it that way I guess over eating can be a problem for all of us. I didn't think about what I was saying I was only thinking about my clothes getting to tight. Yet I still gave insight to someone else. Anyway your coworker my be unaware of what she's doing. 
10 Feb 16 by member: Addie Aline


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